Mixed Episodes

[4Everloved]

Could someone tell me more about mixed episodes. How in the world can I be depressed and hypomanic at the same time? It doesn't seem possible.

After receiving my diagnosis of bipolar three weeks ago, I studied online and thought I was bipolar type II. When I returned to the psychiatric nurse, she said, no, that I was in a mixed state. It sounds "crazy". No pun intended.

Can someone tell me a little more about this?

P.S. I take Lamictal (it is still a small dose, but it is being built up gradually.) This medication does seem to help me.
I felt better within just a few days of starting on it.

 

[Alaskamomma]

Hi 4everloved,

I have never experienced a mixed episode until a little over a month ago. I had lots of energy, couldn't sleep, talked fast, had racing thoughts, but I was overwhelmed with depressive thoughts and ultimately I began to have suicidal ideation and thoughts of self harm. I went into the hospital for it and they adjusted my meds and since then I have been level... thank God.

I don't understand it all that well. I just know what happened to me was really weird. They also changed my diagnosis from type II to type I.

Don't know if this helps or not. Hopefully, you can relate to it.

 

[Alive again]

Alaskamomma gave an excellent description of a mixed episode. It is truly a time where you have symptoms of both (poles) moods-both depression and mania. it can be a very miserable and horrible experience and is also very dangerous in terms of suicide as you have both depression and the energy to do something about it!!! SO it is not something to mess with and should always lead to a call for help. It can often be controlled with adding a med or adjusting current meds.

I know of people with all types of bp that have had mixed episodes. And having just one mixed episode does not necessarily mean you will have more, but you can and so can anybody else-at least this is what my understanding is.

 

[berry2000]

I live with reoccuring mixed episodes. Becaue my anxiety/anger is how my hypomania presents it is possible for me to be both at the same time.

this is how it looks for me I get those depressed suicidal self hatred thoughts and I don't want to be talking to people. But also my anxiety is through tht roof I have too much anxious energy I snap at people (family mostly) and basically i want to destroy myself. i am extrememly angry and easily set off but it is mixed with the thoughts and feelings I have with a major depression.

this is all medication induced for me (antidepressants) cuz before this when i was depressed I was only depressed. Not w/ anxiety and anger.

 

[4Everloved]

Me too, Berry. I was on anti-depressants for 10 years prior to this. The nurse practioner says it was the wrong medicine for me and that anti-depressants have a 'kindling effect' and can bring too much norepenphrine, causing simultaneous mania (irritablility and anger) along with the depression. That describes me to a T. Unfortunately. I feel like a freak right now, I wish I could just go in a hole and disappear.

I do not understand why God is allowing this in my life unless it is the fact that I am in school right now, studying how to help people. Unlike most of my fellow students, I do know specifically what I want to do. I want to open a shelter for the homeless, addicted, and mentally ill.

It seems ridiculous that God would choose me to lead this. No one believes me or thinks I'm capable of it. They just laugh at me. I 'm tired and lonely, afraid and angry.

I'm not giving up, but just for awhile I'm going to forget about everybody else and take care of me. Because I need help and strength before I can reach out and help anybody else.

 

[berry2000]

I believe in you. Hold fast to the promises in scripture that also support you in your dreams.

Jeremiah 29:11 For i know the plans I have for you to prosper you and not to harm you to give you a hope and a future.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.

I often think I am unworthy to serve especially when it comes to mental health. Yet i feel the call as well.

 

[Alive again]

Me too, Berry. I was on anti-depressants for 10 years prior to this. The nurse practioner says it was the wrong medicine for me and that anti-depressants have a 'kindling effect' and can bring too much norepenphrine, causing simultaneous mania (irritablility and anger) along with the depression. That describes me to a T. Unfortunately. I feel like a freak right now, I wish I could just go in a hole and disappear.

I do not understand why God is allowing this in my life unless it is the fact that I am in school right now, studying how to help people. Unlike most of my fellow students, I do know specifically what I want to do. I want to open a shelter for the homeless, addicted, and mentally ill.

It seems ridiculous that God would choose me to lead this. No one believes me or thinks I'm capable of it. They just laugh at me. I 'm tired and lonely, afraid and angry.

I'm not giving up, but just for awhile I'm going to forget about everybody else and take care of me. Because I need help and strength before I can reach out and help anybody else.

I believe in you. Hold fast to the promises in scripture that also support you in your dreams.

Jeremiah 29:11 For i know the plans I have for you to prosper you and not to harm you to give you a hope and a future.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.

I often think I am unworthy to serve especially when it comes to mental health. Yet i feel the call as well.

I also have a similar call on my heart. I spend my days ministering to others and have to closely watch that I also take care not to torch my health in the process. I have just gotten a license back in the medical field and know that if the powers that be or an employer knew of my diagnosis, well, it would not be pretty. But God and I know that I am capable to do this job, although the enemy keeps filling me with doubts!

Follow the path you know God has called you to and watch what He does, for He has an interesting way of taking where he wants which may not be where you expected!!!!

Blessings and prayers!

 

[berry2000]

A little off topic but Alive Again, isn't it illegal to discriminate for any health issue including mental health if you are able to do your job. Just a thougth as I was thinking of telling a few poeple at work.

 

[angelkiss]

Sorry I'm replying late......(as my usual self does). I usually experience the mixed state and it is a whirlwind if I ever felt one!
I am from one mood to the next within minutes/hours. I feel extremely energetic, but can't seem to lift my arms to get anything done. My mind races so fast I can't keep up with my thoughts, yet I feel that I have sandbags holding me down. My last episode lasted a week and that concerned my therapist. I am back on my Equetro and taking Seroquel and I feel much better. I still have my episodes, but they are very mild and only last a day or so.
If I don't have meds, after a few weeks, I have these mixed episodes that usually turn into one big psychotic episode.
I have learned to use my coping skills even more when an episode hits and I make sure I refrain from things that can set me off quickly.
That even means that I stay away from people who are likely to set me off. I don't like to be totally alone during this state, but I do take a lot of time for myself. I let my friends and family know what's going on so they know what to expect. They actually detect some things better than I do. This lets people know when I need space and when I don't. If it's someone that's not very familiar with my illness and they're likely to be a trigger. I just stay away until it's over.

Aaaaanywho, that's what it's like for me.
Praying for you.
s and es!!

 

[4Everloved]

My husband on weekends is a big trigger. I always expect him to go off about something, and he always does.

Last weekend, I took him out on a nice date; (he never thinks of taking me out on a date) on Friday night so that we could spend time together. But on Saturday, when I needed to finish several term papers, it was too much for him and as usual, he started yelling.

I've come to expect it.

I've explained to him about my bipolar (I've only been diagnosed as so for less than 1 month) and he has been a little nicer than he was before. I think he's really trying to change. But I think he needs some medication himself. Something for anxiety. He gets angry at work and comes home and takes it out on us (the kids and me.)

I get so tired of the whole deal sometimes.

I am already gaining weight on this Lamictal because I have an increased appetite. I'm going to make a conscious effort to cut down on food, starting today, whether I "feel hungry" or not.

The sad thing is: when I think back to the last 3 years...I've been having mixed episodes and did not see them as such. I just thought I was depressed and angry and that there was nothing I could do about it. While I was pregnant with Caleb I was a crying, irritable maniac. After I had the baby, I loved him, I really did, but often I felt that I just could not cope with another child (he's my 3rd child, and I had him at an advanced age.)

I remember my DH was still in Iraq when Caleb was 6 months old. He was about to come home from Iraq, and everyone thought it should be such a happy time, but it wasn't for me. I knew there'd be lots of yelling, because I do things different than DH and organize the home and the bills differently. He was gone for 1 year and he is extremely controlling.
I didn't know what kind of a father he'd be to Caleb. Thankfully, he's a better father than he is a stepfather.

I know this was distorted thinking, but I kept thinking, 'when he gets home, DH can just raise the kids, (Caleb, and my other daughter, his step-daughter) and I can just "cease to be". It's not that I wanted to kill myself, I just wanted to drop out of sight somehow and cease to be. Does that make any sense? I've never told this to anybody ever....so here it is. And that was two years ago.

Now instead of being on anti-depressants, I'm diagnosed as bipolar mixed episodes. If it had been caught and diagnosed earlier, it would not be so bad right now. But I just kept pressing on and doing the best I could.

I urge anyone who feels that they might be bipolar to go to a specialist and see if they need medicine. It's important.
Even if I do gain weight on Lamictal, it's more important that I stay stable for my family.

 

[berry2000]

Weekends trigger me too. Agree with you on the medicine i always wish i could have been more honest with doctors when i was younger. Better than me yes, i have those day dreams of just "driving and driving" and never coming back. But i also frequently want to kill myself too. Being stable for your family is good. But being stable for yourself is better, i only learned this once i was stablized. If i remember you just started on lamictal...I have a good reason to believe this is going to work for you. Hang in there sister.

 

[4Everloved]

Thank you so much for all your responses. You are all helping me alot. The opportunity to fellowship and share our needs and our knowledge is priceless!

Thank You, Jesus!

 

[4Everloved]

I believe in you. Hold fast to the promises in scripture that also support you in your dreams.

Jeremiah 29:11 For i know the plans I have for you to prosper you and not to harm you to give you a hope and a future.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.

I often think I am unworthy to serve especially when it comes to mental health. Yet i feel the call as well.

I am more certain with each day that God is allowing me to go through this; that this is even in His plan!

We are all usable by God. Bipolar is only a part of our lives. It is not all that we are. It is a disorder, yes. But it doesn't need to take over or be first in our lives.

Jesus reigns no matter what. Give Him glory! Give Him 1st place in your life and just see what happens.