Missing old lifestyle?

[Goodbook]

Hmm..an example well i used to idolise music and movies stars. but I knew to give up this idolatry not so that it pleased God for me to give it up and that he would be happy with me as if He needed all the attention and I needed the approval but because it was sin and it was satans way of obstructing my relationship with Him.

i could see the road I was on was not the way to heaven. did I miss it, well, I lost a lot of 'friends' who were fans of the same movie star, but that was their so called friendship was only a kind of consumerism, very superficial groupies. That 'love' I had for the idols could not compare with the love Jesus had placed in my heart for God. I made a REAL friend in Jesus.

 

[parsley]

What I have seen in the lifestyle -- a network of people who defend each other because they know most have gone through rejection and scorn, loss of opportunities. It has similarities to the Jews feeling like they end up in foreign lands so often. They had reason to complain. (It was quickly turning to golden calves and demanding things from God that showed bad intent.)

I know people in the lifestyle who have battle scars of friends who went through HIV/AIDS struggles, and many died. There is a culture of celebrating life and seeing death so vivid and imminent.

There is a premise of talking tolerance. Even when there isn't tolerance displayed, they speak of valuing it. Christian communities have a premise of welcoming, but holding to more defined standards. So yes, there is a difference in how people converse and express opinions.

I would think that merging into any new social circle would put a person on edge, making sure they said the right thing and showed intent to be part of things. That might seem elevated when you explain your past, and run into people who disagree with how you lived.

I don't think that can be avoided, because people everywhere say mean things to anyone... we are all careless, and don't always see situations from others' perspectives.

Communities bond, rally, defend each other, laugh about the same topics... and that would be part of what you miss. Adoring friends and enjoying time together might not be a necessary thing to leave. Jesus did not teach about leaving one social circle to join another. He did not tell us to stop caring about individuals.

The Old Testament warns about bringing things into the culture that will conflict with Judaism and intents God had for them. Paul speaks about running the race efficiently, setting things aside that might slow us down. I don't think it's as all-or-nothing as people might have told you. Find out what parts are sin, and what parts are just normal living.

Ask yourself-- is it the physical contact that you miss, or the particular friends and camaraderie? The types of conversations, the places that you gather, the balance of lighthearted with in-depth consideration for each other.

longing for the "old days"

 

[graceandpeace]

I say "Lifestyle" in that there is feeingl attraction to some one of the same sex and there is acting on those feelings:Two different things. One may not be able to resolve the attraction they may feel towards the same gender, but they do have the ability to choose not to engage or act on those feelings--Similar to a former drug addict or alcoholic who chooses not to put themselves in environments that would cause them to stumble..Or a straight man or woman choosing not to hang around the bar and club scene to stumble into inappropriate relationships outside of marriage. By "life style" I simply mean the conscious choice to engage in something. I agree on your points of trust and forgiveness though, thank you

Look, you posted in the "Advice" forum. Correcting an error in the OP would fall under feedback/advice, so I will make one final comment.

Use of the term "lifestyle" to refer to the LGBT community is considered offensive because there is no such thing as a single, all encompassing way LGBT people live. Regardless of one's personal feelings or religious beliefs about this community, every Christian should be considerate of their neighbors. Using an incorrect & offensive term is not considerate, it is alienating - & any chance of sharing the Gospel is lost.

 

[susyan]

I would like to share a new thought as it may help in understanding this kind of thing...

let's say God set up boundaries of what He calls acceptable and not acceptable

He says adultery is not acceptable and that it is a sin

now if there is a straight man, he happens to meet with a lady that he is attracted to, he then finds out that she is married and that she is another man's wife... now, he realizes that his feelings and the attraction is "out of bounds" ie he is treading on forbidden grounds, so he immediately puts his mind off her and refuses to entertain any thoughts of being with her. He did that and he moved on.

now repeat this scene with a different man, he happens to meet another man which he feels attracted to... he immediately realizes that this attraction is not accepted or approved by God and immediately puts his mind off the other man and refuses to entertain any thoughts of being with him. He did that and moved on. Why? he knew that God forbade this feeling between men and men.

He knew that God designed him and the other man to perhaps be one day a woman's husband and he will not destroy that, just like the first straight man won't destroy the married woman's relationship just for the sake of attraction.

GLBT decided to dwell on the forbidden feelings, they made a choice to think about the feelings which God says not to. they need to just agree with God that their feelings are deviant and ask Him to remove these, because it destroys His design of man and wife together (like the first straight man did with the married woman). I remember a guy telling me sadly that he likes this girl but she's "taken"... by a lesbian, and there were several women that he couldn't approach because of the same thing... so he was alone at that time... That is so sad and wrong!!

It is all about uncontrollable lust. why can't the two men be just best friends? why do they let sexual stuff come in? why do they accept the sexual feelings and act on it, dwell on it? why can't they just recognize it is wrong and forbidden and get out of there like the straight man did with the married woman?

the answer? they have no fear of God.

 

[Albion]

What do you think Jesus thinks/feels towards someone who has given up the LGBT lifestyle for Him but misses it intensely/feels longing for the "old days" because of how happy they made that person? And now they're "living right" but completely miserable and feeling bitterness towards a God that does not approve of such love?

I don't see anything remarkable in this. Sin is usually enjoyable; that's why we are so attracted to it. And if we don't engage in it (anymore), there's no reason to think that it will lose its ability to tempt us. If it weren't homosexual sex we were discussing, it could be heterosexual sleeping around or some other sin.

I am sorry that you don't seem to feel any joy out of serving the Lord, however, and don't quite know what to say about that. Maybe it's that you haven't entirely committed yourself to the "serving" part of that but rather gave up your past life grudgingly.

 

[Steeno7]

I see what youre saying and agree. However when you are use to what you had and made a life (that you loved) of it, if someone comes along and says "leave what you know (even if its called slavery) for what I have", it suddenly doesnt feel like a gift but a weight. What is a gift anyway? And if it causes the recipient more sorrow than good, is it still called a gift? :/

Sorrow for the lose of an old 'lifestyle' of sin? Sorrow for having been given everything in Christ? It is one thing to struggle with the temptation of engrained habits and behaviors, we all do that. It is quite another thing to be "completely miserable and feeling bitterness towards God" because "God does not approve of such love."

You are miserable and bitter towards the God who is Love for not approving of your old lifestyle? A lifestyle you characterize as "love". Seems to me there is a very serious disconnect there.

 

[parsley]

Life is short. There's only so much we can do in the short years we have. There are many things we wish we could do, save up for or dream about, study and prepare for... but we don't get to them all. Daily choices and the sun setting prevent the thousands of things from being part of our lives. Or sending us in too many directions.

It would be more of a draw for you than simple self-discipline or convincing yourself. But there might be times it's worth moving forward with general life in a streamlined way, realizing you can only do so much. Keep the friends. Let them in on what you're going through, if that seems right.

If it's a matter of falling in love, then remember that we all get more crushes than relationships. We can fall for five people at a time, and end up with none. We don't always get what we hoped for. Attraction is powerful, but we all have to exercise wise decision-making and restraint. Not stealing boyfriends or spouses, not being unfaithful... maybe holding back is not as different from straight romance as it appears.

 

[Goodbook]

Attraction for somebody who is off limits is the same whether its gay or 'straight'. I know as a female its WRONG to be attracted to my blood brother for example, (no chance of that, but you'd be surprised how incest occurs in many families) or my sister's boyfriend(or husband, if she got married) or any of my girlfriends. Even if they were somehow attracted to me. Those 'feelings' of lust are not from God. don't try to call it love, it is not.

The problem with you is you are not putting off the old and letting the new come. You are still trying to hold on to the old while forcing yourself with the new. Its not going to work..those wineskins will burst - see the parable.

I suggest fasting. Dont be like Lots wife and look back. You have a wonderful future to look forward to, if you are saved you will have an eternal reward. Do not throw away that precious pearl and go back to the mire. Do not be like a dog that goes back to its own vomit.

 

[trulyconverted]

What do you think Jesus thinks/feels towards someone who has given up the LGBT lifestyle for Him but misses it intensely/feels longing for the "old days" because of how happy they made that person? And now they're "living right" but completely miserable and feeling bitterness towards a God that does not approve of such love?

Aside from the issue of homosexuality (cause I know that's a loaded gun in a forum like this) Fill in the blank with whatever sinful thing you may have done before(partying, drinking to drunkenness,drugs,destructive relationships, porn..etc) --my real question is, if youve given something up for Him (truly no longer engaging in it) but miss it fiercely, do you think Hes angry? Sad? Does/could He punish for such longing for that which is sinful? Or do you think He could/would just be happy that you gave it up at all?

Emotions can run so high that sometimes it becomes almost impossible to manage. But even if we feel certain things, we manage to practice self-control to stop ourselves from committing the sin.

I think most things or emotions are like addictions, they pop in our heads making us crave them, or we can't stop thinking about them therefore making us crave them more. But God lets us know that it is not right to act on them, therefore we don't.

For you to feel a fierce longing for these things that you know are wrong, yet do not act on them because they displease God, is in itself proof that you love God more than yourself and these things.

Just hang on and unceasingly pray. Eventually the addiction and the emotion attached to it eventually fades away. This is an opportinity for us to cling to God everyday. To be dependent on Him for strength to resist temptation and for Him to become to us the true source of joy and peace.

Godbless.

 

[parsley]

Emotions can run so high that sometimes it becomes almost impossible to manage.

There is a grieving process in break-ups, that can be stronger than loss through death. Our emotions can be so consuming.

 

[ToBeBlessed]

I cannot access the article GuusVA. Can you check the link and repost?

Anyone else having that difficulty or is it just me?

Thanks.

 

[Inkachu]

What do you think Jesus thinks/feels towards someone who has given up the LGBT lifestyle for Him but misses it intensely/feels longing for the "old days" because of how happy they made that person? And now they're "living right" but completely miserable and feeling bitterness towards a God that does not approve of such love?

I think He understands what you're going through, He knows every struggling thought, feeling, and emotion, and He has compassion and patience and mercy on you. If you believe He created you and He loves you, then you need to believe that He can help you through this, and help you to live right. He doesn't want you to always be struggling and bitter and doubtful. If you remain faithful and obedient, and keep your heart open and tender, and refuse to give in to bitterness and regret, it WILL get better.

 

[Autumnleaf]

What do you think Jesus thinks/feels towards someone who has given up the LGBT lifestyle for Him but misses it intensely/feels longing for the "old days" because of how happy they made that person? And now they're "living right" but completely miserable and feeling bitterness towards a God that does not approve of such love?

Aside from the issue of homosexuality (cause I know that's a loaded gun in a forum like this) Fill in the blank with whatever sinful thing you may have done before(partying, drinking to drunkenness,drugs,destructive relationships, porn..etc) --my real question is, if youve given something up for Him (truly no longer engaging in it) but miss it fiercely, do you think Hes angry? Sad? Does/could He punish for such longing for that which is sinful? Or do you think He could/would just be happy that you gave it up at all?

God's probably happy I don't drink alcohol anymore. I know people walking down the street are probably safer now.

 

[KnowHisJoy77]

What do you think Jesus thinks/feels towards someone who has given up the LGBT lifestyle for Him but misses it intensely/feels longing for the "old days" because of how happy they made that person? And now they're "living right" but completely miserable and feeling bitterness towards a God that does not approve of such love?

Aside from the issue of homosexuality (cause I know that's a loaded gun in a forum like this) Fill in the blank with whatever sinful thing you may have done before(partying, drinking to drunkenness,drugs,destructive relationships, porn..etc) --my real question is, if youve given something up for Him (truly no longer engaging in it) but miss it fiercely, do you think Hes angry? Sad? Does/could He punish for such longing for that which is sinful? Or do you think He could/would just be happy that you gave it up at all?

Interesting your question..I can relate but can't relate at same time..what I cant relate maybe is with what I see as your coming to the faith...when I came to the faith I was at the bottom pit, I could not take my life anymore, than I saw my state and my need of a Savior. I did everything I want to all my hearts desires, without much of my conscience bothering me. It was empty nothing fulfilling and than I had that huge terror about dying..now I know that was my deep inside knowing, it was my death decree by carrying my sins not made peace with God, yet.

Now..my sinful promiscuous lifestyle was fixed by marriage "if burning better to get married" and I did very soon after conversion to not keep sinning. .and my struggles with cigarettes took 10 years to go by the grace of God..

The difficulty and differences I see is that if this "same sex attractions" involves romantic love for people same sex..and not just promiscuous life style like my own past "everything goes". When we come to the faith some things goes away fast others take a while and we pray, struggle, resist, fall, etc to have a fresh conscience is good always taking to Him our trash and struggles always close to Him. He graces us as we trust Him until the end of our race in this body and earth.

God bless you.

 

[Emmy]

Dear bellemare. All we say or do should be from love and compassion, God is Love, and God wants loving sons and daughters. In Matthew 7: 7-10: we are told: " ask and ye shall receive," if we ask for Love and Joy we will be given Love and Joy, then we thank God and share all love and joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends.
In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells us: " The first and great Commandment is;
Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is; love thy neighbour as thyself." We keep asking for Love and Joy,
then thank God and share all love and joy with our neighbour. People will notice and people will treat as the same. Love and Joy is wonderful, and there is much fun and joy also. It will be a lifestyle giving joy and fun, clean and healthy love and joy, enjoyed by young and old.
The Bible tells us to " Repent and to be Born Again," give up our selfish wants and wishes, and change into to men and women which God wants us to be. There is much fun in noticing how we change slowly from selfish to being loving and compassionate. God will see our loving efforts, and God will Bless us. Just think of having a foretaste of Heaven with God/Jesus and our Christian brothers and sisters. We might stumble and forget some times, but then we ask God to forgive us, and carry on Loving and enjoying ourselves.
Once we Repent and are Being Born Again, we will be filled with love and joy,
the old lifestyle will be forgotten, and we will have Life Abundant. Jesus our Saviour will help and guide us, JESUS IS THE WAY, and with God on our side
what or who can be against us. I say this with love, bellemare.
Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

What do you think Jesus thinks/feels towards someone who has given up the LGBT lifestyle for Him but misses it intensely/feels longing for the "old days" because of how happy they made that person? And now they're "living right" but completely miserable and feeling bitterness towards a God that does not approve of such love?

Aside from the issue of homosexuality (cause I know that's a loaded gun in a forum like this) Fill in the blank with whatever sinful thing you may have done before(partying, drinking to drunkenness,drugs,destructive relationships, porn..etc) --my real question is, if youve given something up for Him (truly no longer engaging in it) but miss it fiercely, do you think Hes angry? Sad? Does/could He punish for such longing for that which is sinful? Or do you think He could/would just be happy that you gave it up at all?

Your attitude should be one of great gratitude for repenting of this very dangerous and perverted lifestyle...even though your flesh my miss it. Gods ways are always higher and better than Ours , and that is something to celebrate and own.

As for myself ? In light of the following incredible facts, im extremely grateful Christ got a hold of my life when he did some 25 years ago and I don't miss making myself #1 at all ; I now live for making God #1 as he rightfully deserves . Consider where Secular Humanism's favorite pastime of Sexual Hedonism has taken the Nation :

"(CNSNews.com) – A total of 1,422,976 new cases of Chlamydia trachomatiswere reported to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2012, “the largest number of reported cases for any notifiable disease in the U.S.," a CDC spokeswoman told CNSNews.com.
Alist of the National Notifiable Infectious Conditions that are reported by 57 state and territorial jurisdictions can be found on CDC's website.
Approximately 110 million Americans – more than a third of the entire U.S. population - were infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) as of 2008, the latest date for which figures are available, the CDC spokeswoman confirmed. That includes more than a million Americans living with HIV."

 

[parsley]

More than a third of the entire U.S. population
...1,422,976 new cases in one year!

Yikes.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

More than a third of the entire U.S. population
...1,422,976 new cases in one year!

Yikes.

This is just one singular consequence America faces from not wanting God or his loving protective moral mandates to live according to. Theres others.

 

[ToBeBlessed]

It may be a good topic for a separate thread if it's that interesting to you, but back to advice for this Sister in Christ.

 

[Jesse2014]

I am gay as well. But I have never acted upon my desires. Actually, not completely true, I have participated in sensuality but never went all the way; but not very much. I have also struggled with lust and porn: gay and straight alike. So I know what the OP is going through. I found comfort in porn as well as fear. Comfort in the fact it distracted me from my earthly problems. Fear after I was done because I know I brought death upon myself. I could die that night and be thrown into hell. I believe even though I have accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour, sin always leads to death, which is hell. If we truly believe that there is going to be a day of wrath, we would turn from our sin. I am still tempted to look at porn, but I remind myself God's wrath is coming. Paul wrote Romans 2 to believers, not unbelievers. And he says that even believers who continue to sin are not exempt from God's wrath if they continue to sin. He writes this

Romans 2:5-11

"But no, you won't listen. So you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself because of your stubborness in refusing to turn from your sin. For there is going to come a day of judgment when God, the just judge of all the world, will judge all people according to what they have done. He will give eternal life to those who persist in doing what is good, seeking after the glory, honor, and immortality, that God offers. But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and practice evil deed. There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on sinning-for the Jew first and also for the Gentiles. But there will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good-for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism."

This is what keeps me from sinning. I am not perfect at all. But God's wrath is giving me self-control, and is keeping me in line with the truth.

I am not a traditional Christian. I don't go to church or fellowship with other believers except occassionally when I run into them in town and on social networks of course. I am also depressed and a loner just hanging on until I die. So my advice maybe worthless.

But my point is that before anyone of us wants to go back into our sinful lifestyle, let's remember God's wrath. May his wrath keep us from sinning.