Men: Is this true?

Lemmiwinks · May 3, 2010

ninalabelle007 said:
I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee.

The only ones who will flee are dullards and nimrods whom you are better off without. Good riddance!

Easyk · May 17, 2010

taku60 said:
I dont think its the fact that a woman is educated and articulate/smart its the negitive qualities that can sometimes come with that (cocky, wants to wear the pants, condesending (espeically if he is not as educated). It may be hard for a woman like that to be the woman and let her man be the man especially when she may be a supervisor at work or in some other such position of power. Its not as big of a deal for a man because men are suppose to be men in the relationship as well so it naturally carrys over. I would guess that a certian percentage of women who are educated and in positions of authority would find it difficult to be submissive in a relationship and speaking for myself I would have to be medicated to live with a woman that was constantly jockying for control of the pants. Also a woman who is smart is going to be better able to put on a good show in the beginning and then could switch on him later on so he has to decide if he wants to invest twice as much time to find out who she really is and take the chances that she may not be who she is making herself out to be and then he wasted that time.

I find myself of the above..

Deliberatetourist said:
I've met few men in my life who were "intimidated" by a woman's intelligence. Moreso they were intimidated by someone who was opinionated, or always thought she was right and refused to adopt any humility.

yup.. above too.

being smart and in your 30s is nothing any man would run away from.. as i quoted its whos wearing the pants.. is there gonna be a battle of wills and power struggle.. this is why some men do shy away from intelligent women, they simply dont want to fight for the power.. and i was told and heard stories... and also saw my best friend be ripped to shreds by his women who was way smatter then him.. it has the potential to destroy people..

be open and honset, just dont flaunt it.. being humble and respect your gifts..

genestealerbroodlord · May 25, 2010

A real man wants a woman who is talkative. Men who are intimidated by strong women are not worth your time. With that being said, all us men are intimidated by strong women, even if we say we are not. We like to think we are the king of our castle.

Digit · May 25, 2010

I think there are too many general statements here. Everyone has a unique personality and as such, it's impossible to generalize like this and say that every man wants this, or that. You would do well to find someone who likes you for you, and not concern yourself with stereotypes. :>

RobertMerton · May 31, 2010

as for intelligence,
to be honest i would not be able to marry a dodo.
it would drive me crazy.

preferably i would want someone who is more educated than me.
perhaps a doctor =)

as for age, it is better to say your age.

toothj · Jun 1, 2010

An intelligent low to mid 30s woman sounds like my dream woman! Don't hide, be proud! I (personally) find the idea of dating a less than intelligent woman rather unpleasant.

busymoses · Jun 7, 2010

I agree with the responses above but would also want to add a different twist to them.

How do you treat men? Sometimes "smart" women tend to look down to men because they feel like they have evrything together and therefore are independent.

It's one thing knowing that you are whole in christ but should not be independent. Women were meant to be a "helpmate.

Being well educated and smart but knowing how to submit to a husband is a virtue and a challenge that many women educated women cannot handle. I think this is the reason some people will have the kind of reasoning you are talking about.

this all goes back to the feminist movement. If you do some study on it, it will explain most of these kind of women/men "power problems"

Be yourself, you will attract the right person.

Moses Kangave

recoveringfaith · Jun 8, 2010

ninalabelle007 said:
I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee. I was also told not to tell my real age,32,men will see me as too old and run off.

You see I have a problem with the advice mentioned above. Why do I have to base a relationship on lies? If I do follow the advice above, I will be with a man that is not really attracted to the real me. So again living a lie.

Can a smart woman who is well educated and articulate to get a man and be married long term?

The advice above was mentioned to me by a family member...So hearing this repeatedly...I can't help but wonder.

Y'all have no idea how discouraging it is to hear the advice above. When I was little girl I was told to study...get an education no matter what. People will respect you. Then I grew up and got an education only to be told men will flee cause I know too much

The right man will appreciate your intelligence. My spouse values it in me because he is secure with himself. My advice is be yourself.

GoodNewsJim · Jun 21, 2010

I like smart women.

GrowingSmaller · Jun 23, 2010

I think that it depends on what kind of a man you are looking for. Sometimes, due to gender contrtuction and pressures in the media and workplace etc, men find it more manly to dring beer, bodybuild, act tough, and watch sport rather than have an intellectual debate. Debate might be regarded as inappropriate and too snooty or delicate for the "working class man". But when it comes down to impressing an attractive women men wouldn't want to feel intellectually inadequate, especially as women can be regarded as the lesser sex by such fine specimens.

GTLiteChamp · Nov 3, 2010

Question the person that gave you this talk because it really is absurd,not true.

Daveithai · Nov 4, 2010

Doesn't seem to be sound advice to me, be who you are and you'll find the person who is right for you and you shouldn't accept anything less.

If you lie about who you are you'll attract the wrong people.

I have that exact problem funnily enough... I look 5 years younger than I am, so I attract young and immature guys, and I work in a profession stereotypically known for it's astonishing erm... witlessness... even though I have 3 degrees. So I attract the exact opposite of what I'm looking out for.

Lol, and let me tell you, the wrong attention is a million times more annoying than just no attention!

bless you sweetheart, don't let anyone get you down. Live how you want to live, be who you want to be, listen to your own heart and I'm sure it'll all work out for you.

x

Kol · Nov 5, 2010

Wow, with all this great advice, I'm sure she's married by now.

Canadian33 · Jan 3, 2011

I understand your issues.....here's a 36 yr old man's advice on that. Personally I don't mind if a girl is intelligent. But the problem that you might need to ask yourself is "does being smart mean I need to wear the pants?" Because I just find that a girl who likes to wear the pants in a relationship is huge turn off. So you might date a guy be intelligent but just don't wear the pants or you'll be steeping on his toes even if that means that you have to let him say and do stupid things in order for him to wear them and be the man. As far as age goes, I don't think anyone should have to lie about their age, or anything for that matter, but there is pressure with women for sure in that area.

SportsJunkie25 · Mar 2, 2011

cmascio said:
That couldn't be further from the truth. I actually prefer women who are intelligent. I live in Las Vegas and that is hard to find. Be proud of who you are!

Wow! I thought I was the only one on CF who lived in this crazy city. Hello!

OP, I agree--Be proud of who you are. Some men will be intimidated, some men will not. If a man is intimidated by how smart you are, he's not the man for you!

I guess one would consider me an "intelligent woman" but I rarely talk about career, education, etc when I meet a man; it is not my identity. If they ask, I will tell...if they don't, I don't bring it up b/c it's "just a job" or it's "just a degree". Or, shall I say, it was "just a job". I made a career change to pursue a path I feel God wants me to pursue buuttt...that's a long story and not the point of this thread. Lol. Anyway, I prefer to bond on common characteristics such as religion/spirituality, sports, activities, hobbies, etc.

A couple of posters have commented on how "intelligent" women may want to wear the pants? I've actually come across men assuming I wanted to "wear the pants" because they considered me intelligent? Um...no thanks. I do not want the pants. You wear them! Put 'em on, zip 'em up and do not take them off. Keep them because I am not attracted to a man who does not wear the pants in the relationship...

When I was in grad school for the previous career I was pursuing, I actually had a man come up to me and as soon as he found out which grad program I was in, he said, "Oh! Wow. You're too smart for me."...AND WALKED AWAY! Uh...really? Nice. Lol. I mean, it wasn't even that hardcore of grad program (i.e. rocket science, engineering, physics, etc. Psshh...it wasn't even med school. Ha!). I was with all of my friends (from the same grad program) and we just started laughing. That was definitely an "experience."

So, do not downplay your intelligence or how articulate you are. And, be proud of your age. Everyone will be 32 sooner or later (if they haven't passed that age)...if they're lucky! (I just turned the Big 3-0 this week so this is my first post on this forum! )

justaguy78 · Mar 10, 2011

ninalabelle007 said:
I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee. I was also told not to tell my real age,32,men will see me as too old and run off.

You see I have a problem with the advice mentioned above. Why do I have to base a relationship on lies? If I do follow the advice above, I will be with a man that is not really attracted to the real me. So again living a lie.

Can a smart woman who is well educated and articulate to get a man and be married long term?

The advice above was mentioned to me by a family member...So hearing this repeatedly...I can't help but wonder.

Y'all have no idea how discouraging it is to hear the advice above. When I was little girl I was told to study...get an education no matter what. People will respect you. Then I grew up and got an education only to be told men will flee cause I know too much

Can't speak for the entire male population but I muuuuuuuuuch prefer women who are intelligent and converse accordingly.

Intelligence is one of the biggest attractions for me along with a sense of humour. I'm a pretty intelligent guy myself so I think it is natural I'd prefer a woman who is similar.

WagginDog · Apr 14, 2011

It may be that its not intelligence that intimidates him but some odd assumption he's making, or he could be slow getting started at conversation. Don't assume a man is intimidated. Give him extra time to catch up on his thoughts. That will help him find words and also to get more comfortable. You should try to be yourself as much as possible, but that doesn't mean you cannot mirror him at the beginning of conversation. Mirroring helps your thermometers equalize. Once you are the same temperature zone then you can enjoy the differences more.

I think the main thing is that some men just need time in mid conversation, so in order to assess compatibility one option is to simply slow down. Let yourself think of what you are going to say before you speak, and give him twice that. Then once you are sure he is thinking clearly you can truly assess what he is thinking about.

Praetor · Apr 24, 2011

I'm not intimidated by intelligence. I might be intimidated if the woman is more emotionally mature than I am. Maybe intimidated is not the word. While I am chronologically a certian age. My life experience, psychology, is ten years behind.I guess that is why I relate more to people in their 20s than my age. Intellectually on the other hand, I think I am slightly ahead.

Onmywalk · May 15, 2011

leighd said:
Thats absurd, If they are intimidated by your intelligence their probably to feeble minded for you to be with in the first place, and the age thing is all in people mind, if someone was to pass you by because of your age then their obviously not in the same mind frame as you and a quick indicator that things wouldn't work

I agree with the words above.

GoodNewsJim · Jun 11, 2011

I didn't like it in school when people said being smart isn't cool.

Being smart is cool.

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