I feel like I'm overreacting and I probably am. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months now. He's been broken up with his ex for 9 but they still remain in touch. The other day I came across some cards and things from her that he's kept. He's the kind of person that keeps memory things from everybody not just her.... so am I overreacting to be uncomfortable about it? I know he loves me and we've had discussions like this before and he's told me that he just keeps things to remember his past it's just how he is where I on the other hand keep nothing because I see no reason to. So... am I just being silly? After all the past is the past for a reason and memories are just that.
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Memories
- Thread starter Alineko
- Start date
First your right... it's just stuff collecting dust. Second thank you so much for replying. It was a real answered prayer to the self doubt I've been having. It really is just Satan taking a mole hill and turning it into a mountain. It's given me courage to just let it go and have faith in God to take care of me. God bless you.
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Yes, Satan is big on the doubt areas especially when you have a relationship God is blessing you with for the time, the devil doesn't like that, so he wants to thwart it as much as possible, so keep focused on God, believe me, I've had a fair share of doubts, and still do, sometimes its hard to ignore them and focus on God, and pray for help, and help to move past them and continue to love my gf for the time he has given me her, I mean obviously there may come a day when God says ok, you guys are done, there is somebody else, but who knows. ok, hope that helps. God bless
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Glorianna
I'm a proud Canadian who married an American!
Once again, I find myself agreeing with BlueImpulse. I know that it can be hard sometimes because I've struggled with this before. But unless your S/O is taking these things out all the time and looking at them, I wouldn't worry about it. Speaking as one of the people who keeps things from past relationships (well, I've never really had a relationship before my fiance... but past crushes I guess), it's not a big deal. I never really take them out and look at them. I do take the stuff that my fiance's given me out all the time. Don't worry about it. 
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Unless he is fixated on those objects and/or talks to her all the time I don't think there is any reason to warrant suspicion. I'm not that kind of person, I tend to try and erase any physical memories but I know allot of people who don't.
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- Mar 30, 2004
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My boyfriend has pics of his ex on his computer and he talks to her on MSN. They were together for three years and we are just getting started in our relationship. At first I didn't like it, but they just talk as friends and I learned I don't really have anything to worry about.
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VanillaRose
Active Member
Yes, my boyfriend has kept things too. Once in a while I'll run across something and it used to bug me a lot. But I have lots of memories too. He was with this girl for 2 years so she was there for him a big chunk of time. I've never seen him go through that stuff, and usually he's surprised when he finds it. 
So it doesn't bug me anymore.
So it doesn't bug me anymore.
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canadiancarebear said:
Wow you can sympathize with me. My boyfriend was with his ex for 3 years too so I realize they have a lot of history but she cheated on him and bad stuff like that but I've realized he is a much more forgiving person then I am. Yes they talk and email but I know in my heart it's just petty jealous fears. I believe God put me here for a reason so fearing about it would only be me saying I didn't trust Gods choices either. And we've been together almost 7 months now... Sometimes God has things take time.
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I kept love letters from an ex for several months after we broke up. It was funny because I just couldn't think of what to do with them. The relationship was over but the memories still seemed precious. Then one day, I uncermoniously dumped them in the garbage. It seemed unexpected at the time, but I knew I wouldn't do it if I gave myself a chance to think about it too much.
Same goes for my highschool journal that consisted mostly of my sob stories of mooning over guys and detailed records of romantic moments between me and boyfriends long gone. I kept it for years thinking it would connect me to my own teenage daughter someday. Last year, I read it some again and was quite mortified with myself. Out of respect for my husband, that went in the garbage too.
I guess my point is that such things are not just about the person (ex-girlfriends or whatever), they're also about our more general past. Making complete peace with it and letting it go can take awhile.
Same goes for my highschool journal that consisted mostly of my sob stories of mooning over guys and detailed records of romantic moments between me and boyfriends long gone. I kept it for years thinking it would connect me to my own teenage daughter someday. Last year, I read it some again and was quite mortified with myself. Out of respect for my husband, that went in the garbage too.
I guess my point is that such things are not just about the person (ex-girlfriends or whatever), they're also about our more general past. Making complete peace with it and letting it go can take awhile.
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Yes I believe that. It takes time and I'm trying to have patience with him. I on the other hand have always been a week later kinda person if that. A week later out goes the pictures, the cards and any stuff that reminds me in general of the past. I guess I would be called a bridge burner but why worry about that which can't be changed.gracefaith said:
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sculpturegirl
Well-Known Member
I would feel very uncomfortable with that. Perhaps I am jaded- I have been cheated on in the past with "just friends." Why does he need her friendship? Would you feel uncomfortable with the two of them going out for dinner together- without you? Nonetheless, I would not want my fiance to have old-flame female friends. He has female friends, all of whom have families and they would never be alone together. As do I have male friends and the same rules apply, but none of these people have either of us ever been romantically involved with. Be careful.canadiancarebear said:
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