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Meeting real life Christian aspies?

designer mom

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I found out a few months ago that my husband and I (and most likely our toddler son) have AS. This has been overwhelming to say the least, but I'm trying to be pro-active about it. I'm in the process of being assessed, my son is on a waiting list for an assessment, and my husband will be next. Anyway...in the process of being "pro-active" I found a group of Asperger women in the community. I joined and learned that I can more easily connect with Aspie's...but the problem is that these women are hard-core athiests, and they're very disrespectful towards Christianity in front of me. They asked me if I'm a Christian, and I told them that I am, and they came into my home and obviously saw that there are "religious items" everywhere, so even though I haven't spoken about my beliefs, they know about them. While I am enjoying finding aspergers support, and connecting with people who I can actually talk to about my true self for once in my life...I feel that ultimately, I cannot continue to do this for very long. Their preferred topics of conversation are far too uncomfortable for me, and I feel like I'll be shunned from the group if I don't just sit through them politely. Unfortunately that will mean that I must turn back to my life of isolation :(

I've been trying for years and years to make friends in a church, but this just hasn't happened for me. I've talked to people about it, and they basically blamed me and said that if I can't seem to get along with anyone than it's my own problem - which I suppose is sort of true.

So...that brings me to this...I'm betting that if I can find some Christian aspies in real life, I'll probably get along great with them. Has anyone succeeded in doing this?
 
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I thought I saw one once while camping deep in the woods of Georgia. It was about 200 feet from my campsite. I scrambled for my camera but I was shooting into the sun and the picture came out all grainy. Expert analysis later determined it to be an elaborate hoax. Whether or not real life Christian aspies even exist is still open to debate.


Sorry if I seem to be making fun of your situation, but when I see things like this "I've been trying for years and years to make friends in a church, but this just hasn't happened for me. I've talked to people about it, and they basically blamed me and said that if I can't seem to get along with anyone than it's my own problem" it REALLY bothers me! And when bad stuff happens you can either laugh or cry... and 99.9% of the time I choose to laugh it off. And let's face it -- meeting someone you can relate to both socially and religiously is about as rare and elusive as meeting Big Foot. Not only does the other person have to have AS, but they have to KNOW they have it. I have a Christian friend (he moved and has lots of little ones so we only talk maybe once a year) who I think has it just a little more severely than I do. His brother has it 200%!!! He has told me that he doesn't even know his brother and they almost never spoke to each other growing up... in the same house. But when I mentioned my AS he just said "I've met people that have it, I don't think you do." I didn't say anything to him. I'm not outing anyone, I won't open that can of worms!
 
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aspieinsearch

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I totally relate to both you 2 Letter never sent and designer mom. I would like to be someone you both can talk too. But ive never been to church and i figured i would just have the same problems you both are describing. Im sorry you both have had to try so long to make real friends in the one place you should expect more understanding and to be welcomed with love. Boy us aspies sure rely on others approval, when most others seem to not let it hurt them like we do to ourselves.
 
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designer mom

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Sorry if I seem to be making fun of your situation,

I'm fairly certain that you actually are making fun of my situation and it makes me feel belittled, to say the least. Don't you think that if I could just "laugh it off" I would have done that by now? I'm a very lonely person, and I've reached out to the Christian community for some hope of a better life, and this is what I get? I'm glad to hear that life is so easy for you, but honestly, your advice is not helpful.
 
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Sabertooth

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For finding like-minded Aspies, I have used a trick since grade school. (Back then we were called "nerds & geeks" before Aspie became fashionable... :wave:)

Find out where such folks congregate. Specifically, look for churches that have Aspie appeal. For me, that has been the Vineyard church, particularly while its founder, John Wimber, was alive. Very out-of-the-box, without crossing established boundaries. It drew geeks, but NTs there were often very flexible, too.

Perhaps, you could wear a Christian T-shirt/sweatshirt at a geekfest, like a sci-fi movie or a comicon, basically "outing" your faith in those venues.

Online, I go by Crossbreed at most Aspie-related sites, I don't preach, but I am ready "to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have [1Pet. 3:15]."
 
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designer mom

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For finding like-minded Aspies, I have used a trick since grade school. (Back then we were called "nerds & geeks" before Aspie became fashionable... :wave:)

Find out where such folks congregate. Specifically, look for churches that have Aspie appeal. For me, that has been the Vineyard church, particularly while its founder, John Wimber, was alive. Very out-of-the-box, without crossing established boundaries. It drew geeks, but NTs there were often very flexible, too.

Perhaps, you could wear a Christian T-shirt/sweatshirt at a geekfest, like a sci-fi movie or a comicon, basically "outing" your faith in those venues.

Online, I go by Crossbreed at most Aspie-related sites, I don't preach, but I am ready "to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have [1Pet. 3:15]."

Thanks! You make a great point, and now that you mention it - I met my husband in a Vineyard church!! ;)

This advice is simple and it makes sense. It's amazing how I can think of the most complex [non-functional] things, but when it comes to simple solutions to making my life work, my brain just can't put two and two together.

Thanks again :)
 
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Sabertooth

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On the flip side, I even make my perseverations work for God. One of my biggest is Playscale Miniaturism. Since I have face-blindness, I collect and customize Barbie-size, articulated figures for use as face models/lay figures as an amateur figure artist.

I collect them from more than one genre, so I have a "ring" of genre-specific pages. While each page is devoted to hobby-related info, I have included a Gospel tract that matches each page's theme.
 
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dayhiker

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One of the issues with finding a friend that is aspie is that we are focused/obsessed on a few things. To find an aspie that has the same obsessions you do might be hard to do.

So instead of looking for aspies, you might want to look for people that are focuses on your interests. I find meetup.com to help me with that as that is by area of interest for the most part.
 
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aspieinsearch

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For finding like-minded Aspies, I have used a trick since grade school. (Back then we were called "nerds & geeks" before Aspie became fashionable... :wave:)

Find out where such folks congregate. Specifically, look for churches that have Aspie appeal. For me, that has been the Vineyard church, particularly while its founder, John Wimber, was alive. Very out-of-the-box, without crossing established boundaries. It drew geeks, but NTs there were often very flexible, too.

Perhaps, you could wear a Christian T-shirt/sweatshirt at a geekfest, like a sci-fi movie or a comicon, basically "outing" your faith in those venues.

Online, I go by Crossbreed at most Aspie-related sites, I don't preach, but I am ready "to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have [1Pet. 3:15]."



Thats some good ideas. I cant believe ive never thought of doing this conciously, but makes sense to look for geekyness so to speak and try and fit in with them wherever it may be, because i avoid people all together and have for so so long ive gotten very lonely and i feel im really missing out on alot of things in life being this way. I also think the right church enviroment could do wonders in my life.
 
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aspieinsearch

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One of the issues with finding a friend that is aspie is that we are focused/obsessed on a few things. To find an aspie that has the same obsessions you do might be hard to do.

So instead of looking for aspies, you might want to look for people that are focuses on your interests. I find meetup.com to help me with that as that is by area of interest for the most part.


Ahhh, thank you dayhiker, i agree and I will try out meetup.com, cool. I thought that was a dating site or something, lol.
 
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