Medications

[pentecostal girl]

Hello! I've been cutting for about 2 years and I haven't done it in awhile. I think I've been clean for about 10 months, but lately I quit taking my medication. I'm on prozac and I notice that when I get upset at someone, I actually get upset at myself??? Because I don't know if I'm really upset or if it's because I'm off my medicine, then I feel stupid for even getting angry. It's always the little things that bug me or hurt my feelings. I've somewhat upset with my best friend and I keep telling myself that she doesn't care about me, but I know she does. Why do I feel that way? I don't like it and I'm ashamed to even say it. :o

 

[Everlasting33]

Hello! I've been cutting for about 2 years and I haven't done it in awhile. I think I've been clean for about 10 months, but lately I quit taking my medication. I'm on prozac and I notice that when I get upset at someone, I actually get upset at myself??? Because I don't know if I'm really upset or if it's because I'm off my medicine, then I feel stupid for even getting angry. It's always the little things that bug me or hurt my feelings. I've somewhat upset with my best friend and I keep telling myself that she doesn't care about me, but I know she does. Why do I feel that way? I don't like it and I'm ashamed to even say it. :o

Hi! I am happy to hear you have been clean from SI for almost a year--what a great accomplishment! You sound like a very insightful and intelligent young lady who has overcome a lot. I have also experienced self-anger and exaggerated sensitivities. I theorize that SI induces a lot of self-anger and even after an individual recovers from SI, self-anger may still be problematic for that individual.

I self-injured off and on for about a year and the last time I cut was in 2001. I was also getting angry at myself and little things upset me too. But I found that the longer the time separated from my SI, the stronger my self-regulation (ability to handle emotions and thoughts).

I do not know if you have struggled with depression, but most individuals who have depression also have low self-esteem. By the sound of your post, you sound like you struggle with low self-esteem and many psychologists overlook this and only focus on depression, anxiety, etc. I am currently in counseling for low self-esteem and it has been beneficial. I have struggled with depression, suicide attempts, and SI during my teenage years but it was the low self-esteem that was fueling it.

I hope that I provided some insight and I hope that you begin to feel better. There are no easy answers or solutions in regards to overcoming our "inner demons," but there is hope and the potential to overcome it.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I am wondering if your physician/counselor has talked with you about the risks of going off your medication so you could know if your symptoms are normal for coming off your med, or are something else?

I'd also wonder how you feel about yourself (feeding self negative or positive thoughts). It sounds like you know yourself more than you might realize - otherwise it wouldn't bug you that you're getting upset. I know I get down on myself at times, usually at times when I'm thinking more negative than positive things in general. Sometimes when I'm not doing what I know I need to do (be with people, eat right, rest well, etc.).

It's really good you haven't been cutting. That's awesome!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

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[berry2000]

Agree with the others do you have a counselor you could talk to? Was there a reason you needed to go off the meds? Anger at myself or someone else was the main reason i cut. Ironically it got so much worse on prozac but i'm bipolar.