Mediation with Control Freak?

[trumpetgirl1]

Has anyone every done mediation with a control freak for a soon to be ex spouse. I asked to do mediation seperately because my soon to be ex tries to dominate and manipulate every situation with me. I was just wondering if mediation worked with a person like this in anyone's personal experience?

Trumpetgirl

 

[Gimpy]

If the mediator is a good, strong mediator, your ex-spouse shouldn't be able to get away with controlling the process or manipulating the process. You might want to let him get away with it for a short while in order that the therapist or lawyer is able to see your situation. If you have a problem with it, go to another mediator.

 

[VioletLady]

do you have to go for mediation? I mean, are there kids involved/or any other business between you and the ex which is unresolved?

Is the guy a danger to you or the kids, physically or mentally?

I agree with Gimpy - that a good mediator won't let him get away with any nonsense.

My only thought would be, being seperated myself - why put yourself through it if you don't have to? If there is no 'unfinished business' between you, it might be better to make a clean break, if you can.

I'll be praying that you get the right answers, a breakup is always traumatic, but the Lord loves you and wants the best for you.

God bless,

V. L. xxxx

 

[trumpetgirl1]

I have to go to mediation because it's required by the courts. Yes we have two kids also. My ex doesn't want to pay me the child support he needs to be paying. We have been seperated 4months and he hasn't paid me anything. We are going to a hearing on the 31st regarding this matter. However, I have mediation this Tuesday. They say that it's better to do mediation because then you don't have to drag each other through the mud. However, my ex is just out for himself and doesn't care about me or the girls. He is very intimidating to me and he can turn on the charm to other people so they don't see what I'm talking about. Only those closest to him like his family and friends really know how he is. It's pretty bad when his own mom and brother tell me to move on and find someone that will treat me the way I deserve. Even some of his friends told me "after" we were married that they felt sorry for me. You can be sure that I will be waiting on God no matter how long it takes for my next spouse! You never know though what God has in store for your life, maybe he's using this time to draw both of us closer to him. I don't really know at this point but do know that I will do what it takes to make sure me and the girls are provided for. A little long winded today

Trumpetgirl

 

[tryingtobeagain]

Your ex sounds similar to my dd's father. I did mediation through the court for custody but the same kind of situation. He was very controlling and intimidating. Plus he's a lawyer and manipulates everything I say. I did separate rooms and told them why. They understood. Nothing came fromt he mediation and we proceeded to one after another court battle. I have a final one coming up this summer and I know he'll try to manipulate everything to postpone it as well. I advise you to go through what you have to but remember that it's about the kids so they need you to be strong. That's what kept me going. I will pray for you.