An Arminian died and went straight to the pearly gates of Heaven (oh, shush about that actually being the New jerusalem ect, just read). There, of course, was St Peter to greet him and a huge crowd of believers. Inside there were 2 elevator doors, one tiny one marked Presbyterean Express, and another much larger with doors so well hidden they were only seen as they opened when Peter yelled "open sesame!" Singing loudly the huge crowd were led into the huge elevator were Peter pushed buttons and told which groups to get off on what floor, but the elevator often went past one floor to get back down as some groups were pressed all in th back. Curiously, everytime they approached the 274th floor, Peter called for everyone to be silent. Finally our happy Arminian was getting out he asked why the need for silence near the 274th floor, and "wassup" with this whole elevator thing?
"Well son," Peter explained through a wide grin, "here each floor is designed to grant the greatest fulfillment and joy to each of God's elect. Since we are all different, what pleases some, like golf courses, may not be the most suited to those who prefer a congested urban enviornment. The 274th floor is the only stop for the Presbyterean express elevator. They can not be happy unless they think they are the only ones in Heaven."
And so it is written.
JR, faithful PCA member