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Maybe lost my last best friend

romen33

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So my best friend has been telling me for weeks that he doesn't think I'm in need of meds or therapy and wants me to stop taking them and "be a man". He says "that's what they want you to believe don't listen to them". I tried to no avail to explain to him that I have a real illness but he got mad and won't talk to me because I won't take his advice. He doesn't think bipolar is a real illness and expects me to just be happy, he thinks I'm depressed on purpose now I don't know what to do. He was the last of my friends all others stopped talking to me shortly after I was first diagnosed bipolar several years ago. Now I feel I'm truly alone. He won't return my messages so far, I'm hoping with time he'll understand other than praying I don't know what else to do.:confused:
 

quietpraiyze

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I am so very sorry this is happening to you. I believe God has real friends for you and for all of us because we are some of the most fantastic big hearted fun loving people on the planet and who can resist that?!!

In the meantime we'll just pray for your friend and trust God to take off his blinders like He has for so many others. You made the right choice and hopefully he'll come to know that. You be well....
 
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Loven God

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Not everyone understands about being bipolar and you can not make them understand if they do not want to learn . If he is a true friend he will come around and except you for who you are . I know it hurts when we lose friends but we can make new ones . And who is to say that he will not see your strugles and want to help , don't write him of yet , just give him the room he needs for now and time to think . Until then pray for him that he will have understanding .
 
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vocalyocal

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So my best friend has been telling me for weeks that he doesn't think I'm in need of meds or therapy and wants me to stop taking them and "be a man". He says "that's what they want you to believe don't listen to them". I tried to no avail to explain to him that I have a real illness but he got mad and won't talk to me because I won't take his advice. He doesn't think bipolar is a real illness and expects me to just be happy, he thinks I'm depressed on purpose now I don't know what to do. He was the last of my friends all others stopped talking to me shortly after I was first diagnosed bipolar several years ago. Now I feel I'm truly alone. He won't return my messages so far, I'm hoping with time he'll understand other than praying I don't know what else to do.:confused:




I find it strange how happy folks are to accept they have mental illness, and even stranger how millions now believe they need meds

if there is a pandemic, its one of mental illness, and how 8 out of ten people are on medication
 
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New_Believer

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I find it strange how happy folks are to accept they have mental illness, and even stranger how millions now believe they need meds

Some people have been suffering for so long that it gives them relief to finally know what it wrong with them and that there is help. I understand maybe some doctors over medicate, but go to a mental hospital and see how some people are and you will see the effects of severe mental illness on a person. The ones who are fortunate enough to function in society may still need the help of medication, but some illnesses such as depression do not have to be life long.

I lived with mental illness for years unknowingly, until I was put into a juvenile detention facility. There I was put on an antidepressant for anxiety. It helped me immensely. God has done so much more for me than medication ever has or could, but I do not think it is wrong.

Sorry, I just felt the need to verify this. Your post doesn't seem to even go along with the topic of the thread. Not to be contrary or anything :)
 
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romen33

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I find it strange how happy folks are to accept they have mental illness, and even stranger how millions now believe they need meds

if there is a pandemic, its one of mental illness, and how 8 out of ten people are on medication

Bipolar disorder is not like depression, people can have episodes of mania or hallucinations. I don't want to take medications and have tried not taking them before. One time when I did so I became so psychotic that I was hearing voices in my head I saw a flash of light, passed out and woke up tied to a hospital bed. Later I was told that I went completely bezerk at work and destroyed 3 computers and was walking aimlessly babbling, so they took me to the hospital, I had no memory of it. Episodes like these have happened every time I stop taking meds and thats why people stop being my friends. So I have learned the hard way I have to take medicine.
 
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gracealone

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No one and I mean no one is "happy" to be diagnosed with a mental illness. And the medications can be extremely difficult to take, especially in the beginning. There are unpleasant side effects that you have to accept as a trade off for properly balanced brain chemistry. Medications don't make you high or euphoric. What they do is provide a measure of homeostatis which allows for you to function normally and have a fairly decent quality of life.
Millions of people take medication for high blood pressure, millions for diabetes, millions for high cholesterol, millions for thyroid disease, millions for autoimmune disease, millions for arthritis, cancer... shall I go on? Why is none of that "strange" to you? Why do you single out biochemically, genetically inherited mental illnesses as the only diseases for which folk shouldn't take medication? Last time I checked it would appear that the brain is a flesh and blood organ that is subject to just as many illnesses and malfunctioning as any other organ in the body which is all the result of the fall. We get sick but God's grace is sufficient for us in all our weaknesss and afflictions and a part of His grace is the provision of medicine and the knowledge God has given physicians about how to treat these illnesses. If taking our meds. for our mental illness is a sin then taking medications for any illness, no matter what organ or system it effects should also be viewed as a sin.
I find your statements to be strange, extremely uneducated and sadly very judgmental. Do you pick on other people for taking medications for other illnesses? Or only those of us who happen to be afflicted with mental illness?
My mental illness, (OCD/Panic Disorder), has been the very vehicle that God has used to demonstrate His grace and strength to me. It has driven me to a closer walk with Him, it has humbled me and it has taught me how to have compassion on others who are suffering. All of that is the good He's accomplishing in my life not in spite of my mental illness but actually because of it. "Therefore, I will glory in my afflicition in order that the power of Christ may rest more fully upon me, for when I am weak I am strong!" Strong in His power and not my own.
This has been my true experience. I suppose you can never fully understand what it's like unless you've lived it yourself.
Mitzi
I find it strange how happy folks are to accept they have mental illness, and even stranger how millions now believe they need meds

if there is a pandemic, its one of mental illness, and how 8 out of ten people are on medication
 
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gracealone

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I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this. Mental illness can be so isolating. I think that the main reason people want to deny it's validity and the need for meds. is really rooted in fear. If they can make mental illness out to be a spiritual problem or a character flaw that can be corrected by choice then they feel "safe" in the false belief that they actually have some choice in the matter. It's hard to accept the fact that anyone can be afflicted with a mental illness. That's just too scary for some folk to accept so they would rather stay uneducated and ill informed so they can hold on to their opinion which provides them with a measure of comfort which is often accompanied by an attitude of pride and superiority. "I'm not mentally ill because I follow God's laws and I'm a good person etc."
I will pray for you that God will bring other's into your life to encourage, befriend and support you. Do you attend a local bipolar support group? God could do great things through you by equipping you to encouraging others who suffer in the same way you do. In fact, He expects us to allow Him to use us in this way and it's very therapuetic for us to do so. It takes us out of that place of self absorbtion with our pain and turns our attention to others in need. Just an idea. You may not be ready for that yet but you can ask God to use you in this way in the future. Remember that "He gives beauty for ashes" and that "a bruised reed He will not break and smoking flax He will not quench."
If you get a chance google "The Mental Health Grace Alliance". This is a wonderful Christian organization that is doing the work of God to educate the church on the reality of mental illnesses and how to support those who suffer from them.
Praying for you

So my best friend has been telling me for weeks that he doesn't think I'm in need of meds or therapy and wants me to stop taking them and "be a man". He says "that's what they want you to believe don't listen to them". I tried to no avail to explain to him that I have a real illness but he got mad and won't talk to me because I won't take his advice. He doesn't think bipolar is a real illness and expects me to just be happy, he thinks I'm depressed on purpose now I don't know what to do. He was the last of my friends all others stopped talking to me shortly after I was first diagnosed bipolar several years ago. Now I feel I'm truly alone. He won't return my messages so far, I'm hoping with time he'll understand other than praying I don't know what else to do.:confused:
 
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vocalyocal

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No one and I mean no one is "happy" to be diagnosed with a mental illness. And the medications can be extremely difficult to take, especially in the beginning. There are unpleasant side effects that you have to accept as a trade off for properly balanced brain chemistry. Medications don't make you high or euphoric. What they do is provide a measure of homeostatis which allows for you to function normally and have a fairly decent quality of life.
Millions of people take medication for high blood pressure, millions for diabetes, millions for high cholesterol, millions for thyroid disease, millions for autoimmune disease, millions for arthritis, cancer... shall I go on? Why is none of that "strange" to you? Why do you single out biochemically, genetically inherited mental illnesses as the only diseases for which folk shouldn't take medication? Last time I checked it would appear that the brain is a flesh and blood organ that is subject to just as many illnesses and malfunctioning as any other organ in the body which is all the result of the fall. We get sick but God's grace is sufficient for us in all our weaknesss and afflictions and a part of His grace is the provision of medicine and the knowledge God has given physicians about how to treat these illnesses. If taking our meds. for our mental illness is a sin then taking medications for any illness, no matter what organ or system it effects should also be viewed as a sin.
I find your statements to be strange, extremely uneducated and sadly very judgmental. Do you pick on other people for taking medications for other illnesses? Or only those of us who happen to be afflicted with mental illness?
My mental illness, (OCD/Panic Disorder), has been the very vehicle that God has used to demonstrate His grace and strength to me. It has driven me to a closer walk with Him, it has humbled me and it has taught me how to have compassion on others who are suffering. All of that is the good He's accomplishing in my life not in spite of my mental illness but actually because of it. "Therefore, I will glory in my afflicition in order that the power of Christ may rest more fully upon me, for when I am weak I am strong!" Strong in His power and not my own.
This has been my true experience. I suppose you can never fully understand what it's like unless you've lived it yourself.
Mitzi



your disorder is OCD and panic disorder, I have a 5 year old thats afraid of the dark, he has a panic attack anytime I turn off the lights, should I get him on medication for this or would it be better to get him to train his mind that the fear is UNFOUNDED and NOT REAL!

if he starts doing things out of compulsion, I would rather teach him that satan is using repitition to destroy his life, and he needs to know who and what the enemy does. nobody is physically forced to perform the acts of OCD, they do it on their own accord, taking medication for unfounded fears and false fears is ridiculas..........most phobias can be overcome in a short period of time by simply facing them

some folks just like the labels they have and the attention it brings them for acting as if delusions are real when even the people who suffer from such delusions know they are not real.
 
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So my best friend has been telling me for weeks that he doesn't think I'm in need of meds or therapy and wants me to stop taking them and "be a man". He says "that's what they want you to believe don't listen to them". I tried to no avail to explain to him that I have a real illness but he got mad and won't talk to me because I won't take his advice. He doesn't think bipolar is a real illness and expects me to just be happy, he thinks I'm depressed on purpose now I don't know what to do. He was the last of my friends all others stopped talking to me shortly after I was first diagnosed bipolar several years ago. Now I feel I'm truly alone. He won't return my messages so far, I'm hoping with time he'll understand other than praying I don't know what else to do.:confused:

show him this fmri image

brain_depression.jpg
 
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Loven God

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COD and Panic attacks are not the same for everyone some can be much more worse for some then others . Some need the medication and it is not always so easily fixed .

Some COD's and panic attacks can interrupt a life to were a person is not funcutionable .

So to say it can just be easyly teached away is not right .
 
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So my best friend has been telling me for weeks that he doesn't think I'm in need of meds or therapy and wants me to stop taking them and "be a man". He says "that's what they want you to believe don't listen to them". I tried to no avail to explain to him that I have a real illness but he got mad and won't talk to me because I won't take his advice. He doesn't think bipolar is a real illness and expects me to just be happy, he thinks I'm depressed on purpose now I don't know what to do. He was the last of my friends all others stopped talking to me shortly after I was first diagnosed bipolar several years ago. Now I feel I'm truly alone. He won't return my messages so far, I'm hoping with time he'll understand other than praying I don't know what else to do.:confused:

Evidence of Brain Chemistry Abnormalities in Bipolar Disorder

"ANN ARBOR, MI - People with bipolar disorder have an average of thirty percent more of an important class of signal-sending brain cells, according to new evidence being published by University of Michigan researchers.
The finding, published in the October 2000 issue of the American Journal of Psychiatry, solidifies the idea that the disorder has unavoidable biological and genetic roots, and may explain why it runs in families.

The discovery is the first neurochemical difference to be found between asymptomatic bipolar and non-bipolar people. It could help the understanding and treatment of a disease that affects as much as 1.5 percent of the population. Bipolar disorder has in the past been known as manic depression.

"To put it simply, these patients' brains are wired differently, in a way that we might expect to predispose them to bouts of mania and depression," says Jon-Kar Zubieta, M.D., Ph.D., assistant professor of psychiatry and radiology at the University of Michigan Health System. "Now, we must expand and apply this knowledge to give them a treatment strategy based on solid science, not on the current method of trial and error. We should also work to find an exact genetic origin, and to relate those genetic origins to what is happening in the brain."

Bipolar disorder is marked by wild, cyclical mood swings, which typically begin in a person's late teens or twenties and strike men and women with equal frequency. Its milder, type II form causes depression alternating with hyperactivity, while the more severe type I disorder produces frenzied, even psychotic episodes that may send the patient to the hospital, followed by deep, crippling depressions. Current treatment uses a mix of mood-stabilizing, anti-psychotic and antidepressant drugs, but patients and physicians often struggle to strike the right combination.

Zubieta and his colleagues made the discovery in 16 patients with type I bipolar disorder using a brain imaging technique called positron emission tomography, or PET. The scans let them see the density of cells that release the brain chemicals dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine.

These monoamines, as the chemicals are called, send signals between brain cells, or neurons. They're involved in mood regulation, stress responses, pleasure, reward, and cognitive functions like concentration, attention, and executive functions. Scientists have hypothesized their role in bipolar disorder for decades, but have never proven it.

The new University of Michigan result points to a clear difference in the density of monoamine-releasing cells in the brains of bipolar people even when they are not having symptoms. Zeroing the PET scanner in on areas of the brain where monoamine-releasing cells are concentrated, the team looked for the faint signal of a weakly radioactive tracer, DTBZ, which they had injected into the bloodstream of the 16 participants and 16 people without bipolar disorder.

DTBZ binds only to a protein called VMAT2 inside monoamine-releasing cells, making it a good tracking device for the density of those cells. It is also often used in PET scanning to study Parkinson's disease, which is characterized by a severe shortage of cells that produce dopamine. On PET scans, DTBZ density - and therefore monoamine cell density - can be quantified by the amount of radioactive signal present in different areas.

By looking at the intensity of the DTBZ signal in all the subjects' brains, the University of Michigan team found that bipolar patients averaged 31 percent more binding sites in the region known as the thalamus, and 28 percent more in the ventral brain stem. In the thalamus, bipolar women actually had levels nearing those of healthy comparison subjects, but bipolar men had a 42 percent higher binding rate, suggesting that there may be specific biological causes for the clinical differences in the course of the illness in men and women.

Adding in the results of functional tests, they found that the more monoamine cells patients had, the lower their scores on tests of executive function and verbal learning. This finding confirms earlier results from research at the University of Michigan, and suggests that the altered brain chemistry due to the excess monoamine cells may directly impact the patients' cognitive and social function.

The study was carefully designed to produce consistent results. It compared brain scans and neuropsychological test results from bipolar disorder I patients who were using medications to control their symptoms, and healthy subjects matched to the bipolar subjects for age, sex, ethnicity, handedness and other factors. Careful physical and psychiatric exams ruled out differences caused by other variables.
Now, Zubieta and his colleagues hope their initial finding will lead to further research on brain chemistry and bipolar disorder. Specifically, more study is needed to examine which kinds of monoamine cells are involved - Zubieta especially suspects those that produce serotonin and norepinephrine. Those findings could help define specific subtypes of bipolar disorder, and aid development of medications and drug combinations that target a specific patient's personal brain chemistry to alleviate symptoms.
Genetic research, too, will be needed to find out why bipolar brains grow more than the usual allotment of such cells. Bipolar disorder I has a strong but still unknown tie to DNA; studies of identical twins show that if one twin has it, the other has an 80 percent chance of having it, too. Zubieta is hopeful that genetic markers will one day be found that can help people know their risk of developing bipolar disorder.

A combination of both genetic research and neuroimaging studies would help define both the genetic components of this illness, and their relationship with the expression of specific brain chemical markers in specific patients.

The University of Michigan is launching a new trial that will enroll patients who have just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and those with a family history of the disease that puts them at higher risk.

"The reality is that we still have only sketches of what is going on in these brains, what the basic changes are, and how they are related to the course of illness," Zubieta says. "We need to look farther."

The study was funded by the University of Michigan's General Clinical Research Center, by the National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression, and by the Mental Illness Research Association's Arthur Forrest Tull II Research Fund."

Abnormal Brain Chemistry Found in Bipolar Disorder - Page 2
 
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New_Believer

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your disorder is OCD and panic disorder, I have a 5 year old thats afraid of the dark, he has a panic attack anytime I turn off the lights, should I get him on medication for this or would it be better to get him to train his mind that the fear is UNFOUNDED and NOT REAL!

if he starts doing things out of compulsion, I would rather teach him that satan is using repitition to destroy his life, and he needs to know who and what the enemy does. nobody is physically forced to perform the acts of OCD, they do it on their own accord, taking medication for unfounded fears and false fears is ridiculas..........most phobias can be overcome in a short period of time by simply facing them

some folks just like the labels they have and the attention it brings them for acting as if delusions are real when even the people who suffer from such delusions know they are not real.

I'm curious, what are your intentions for being on the bipolar forums. You don't seem to be here to here to help.
 
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Chaplain David

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So my best friend has been telling me for weeks that he doesn't think I'm in need of meds or therapy and wants me to stop taking them and "be a man". He says "that's what they want you to believe don't listen to them". I tried to no avail to explain to him that I have a real illness but he got mad and won't talk to me because I won't take his advice. He doesn't think bipolar is a real illness and expects me to just be happy, he thinks I'm depressed on purpose now I don't know what to do. He was the last of my friends all others stopped talking to me shortly after I was first diagnosed bipolar several years ago. Now I feel I'm truly alone. He won't return my messages so far, I'm hoping with time he'll understand other than praying I don't know what else to do.:confused:

Hello,

Sorry to hear of the falling out with your friends. But real friends don't act like the ones you describe IMO. BiPolar is definitely an illness and I'm glad you're getting help for it. I can't speak to the medication issue but have heard that it varies by individual. Many find comfort and make good progress in therapy. It's helped me over the years as has medication when I've needed it.

If anyone other than my physicians tried to get me to change what they recommended I would thank them for trying to help but state that I'm satisfied with my physicians and am glad for their treatment plan. Changing meds or treatment on a whim or at the insistence of a friend or relative can be dangerous.

God has been the most fantastic supporter in my quest for recovery and good health. Cultivating my relationship with Him is the best thing I can and will ever do.

I firmly believe God made Medical Science to help us. As a hospital chaplain I see regularly how God and medical science benefits people. If you'd like to pm me and talk about chronic illness or ask questions, as a CF Chaplain my door is always open. I pray the very best for you and yours.

Faithfully,

CH Sacerdote

:groupray:
 
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gracealone

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Dear Vocal,
Panic attacks do not come in response to being afraid of something. My first attack woke me from a sound sleep and they have nothing to do with normal childhood fear which we all experience. OCD is caused by an abnormal amount of fight or flight chemistry being constantly released into your system when there is no real emergency. Then the brain, which is sending out these huge surges of adrenaline, begins to search for something to latch on to and that's how obsessional themes get stuck in the mind.
There is obviously so much that you don't understand about both the cause and the symptoms and the suffering of mental illnesses.
OCD isn't as simple as a phobia. I agree that exposure the feared thing is key to overcoming simple phobias and exposure is also a part and parcel of treating OCD. You have to do the exposures to the obsessional themes in a gradual way working up to longer and longer periods while also teaching yourself to ignore the obsessional content that is stuck in the brain. But alongside of that you also have to address the chemical imbalance which is what causes the brain to react like a broken fire alarm. That can be done in lots of ways. There have been long periods in my life where I've been able to raise my serotonin levels without the use of meds. through: changing my diet, doing aerobic exercise for about an hour for at least 5 days out of the week, relaxation exercises, breathing exercises, keeping blood sugar levels stable, and making sure I get 7 o-8 hours of sleep per night. All of this takes a lot of discipline. But then there have been other times in my life when there have been severe stressors/trials which have come one upon another which has caused my disorders to flare up so badly that I do need meds. in order to get back on track. During these times I am unable to sleep due to severe panic attacks and unable to eat due to extreme nausea. I have a desire to eat but the nausea is so bad that I can't even gag down a spoonful of yogurt. At these times I can become very debilitated and thin. I'm 5' 8" tall and my disorder has caused my weight to drop as low as 114 pounds. The medications help me to eat and to get sleep and enable me to do the things I need to do to recover from the flares.
Anyhow, I hope you will consider that there is a chance that you might just be wrong about what you are saying to us and also consider what I said in my last post about how much I've grown in my faith due to my disorder. In saying what you've said to me you are discounting my experience of God's work in my life. I find this to be very hurtful. But at the same time I'm hoping that you'll take the time to hear some of what I've said and perhaps God will soften your heart toward those of us who are afflicted with mental illnesses.
I will certainly be praying for you that you may also grow and flourish your faith and that the God of all love and comfort would cause His Spirit to fill your heart to overflowing.
God Bless you Vocal.
I mean that most sincerely. Mitzi

your disorder is OCD and panic disorder, I have a 5 year old thats afraid of the dark, he has a panic attack anytime I turn off the lights, should I get him on medication for this or would it be better to get him to train his mind that the fear is UNFOUNDED and NOT REAL!

if he starts doing things out of compulsion, I would rather teach him that satan is using repitition to destroy his life, and he needs to know who and what the enemy does. nobody is physically forced to perform the acts of OCD, they do it on their own accord, taking medication for unfounded fears and false fears is ridiculas..........most phobias can be overcome in a short period of time by simply facing them

some folks just like the labels they have and the attention it brings them for acting as if delusions are real when even the people who suffer from such delusions know they are not real.
 
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Ace99

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God bless you brother, it must be very hard for you, but God knows what you need, I'm hoping he will bring some special people into your life. He has already begun this by directing you to this site, where you can talk among your wonderful brothers and sisters. Who can help you and pray for you, hope things in your life start improving. I pray God puts his peace in your heart that passes all understanding and shows you his love.
 
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romen33

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Wow thanks for all the replies, I appreciate it.
My medication is working for me very well although it took several years to find the right dose and types of medicine. This particular friend lives in another city and has never seen me during a manic state so I guess he figures I'm ok and don't need medication. We have been friends for many years but since he moved away we only communicate by phone or internet. I made the mistake of telling him about my condition and it all went downhill from there. So is it better not to tell people?
 
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