Masturbation......(common isn't it???)

[Laurel Crowned]

Our natures were made by God.
But as fallen creatures we have become a little bent.

For porn, free time is your worst enemy. If you are at the computer with nothing to do, shut it down and go somewhere else. Just get away.
Next, you have to fill that free time with something constructive. It doesn't *have* to be reading your bible. Read a book. Do homework. Learn about something something.

I SO agree with this advice. I'd struggled with porn for YEARS before coming to CF a year ago. Along with that struggle was, of course, masturbation. While the porn has lost it's grip on me... I still struggle often with the other... and Mr. Cheese is right. Boredom is what triggers it for me now. Boredom and restlessness. I used to read "romance novels" and they would create desires in me that I needed to release. I stopped reading romance novels after I came to CF... so that leaves me with a lot of extra time on my hands.

The challenge is to find other things to do that are constructive. Tonight I read my bible until my eyes started to cross. This marks two weeks since I broke up with my SO. Usually we'd talk on the phone all weekend. This weekend it's been a stretch to find constructive stuff to do... but it hasn't been impossible. "No temptation has siezed you..." I read that scripture tonight. Masturbation is common to man and [wo]man. And God is faithful to provide us with a way out. All the things Mr. Cheese mentioned are ways out. Posting here on CF is a way out.

I'm tempted right now... which is why I looked into your thread. For me, reading Mr. Cheese's words are a way out. I KNOW I need to step away from the computer once I post and go do something constructive. There is a way out.

 

[marissa207]

i have decided to come out of the closet. i started masturbating at a very young age and my mother didnt think anything was wrong with it, so i did it on and off until i was 16 then i got addicted. a few years later i got saved and i know now that it is wrong, but i still struggle with it. Has anyone ever gotten an accountability partner for this? how do you admit this to a real live human being? i've tried to quit on my own, but now i think i need someone to help

 

[Antoinette.Marie]

I'm not sure if masturbation IS actually wrong. It is not mentioned in the Bible, and I just recently had a friend ask me about that. If anyone has any information for me to give her, I'd really appreciate it. I wish I could give some advice to some people who ARE going through this, but honestly, I don't think it is a sin.

 

[ChristianCenturion]

i have decided to come out of the closet. i started masturbating at a very young age and my mother didnt think anything was wrong with it, so i did it on and off until i was 16 then i got addicted. a few years later i got saved and i know now that it is wrong, but i still struggle with it. Has anyone ever gotten an accountability partner for this? how do you admit this to a real live human being? i've tried to quit on my own, but now i think i need someone to help

It can be done and I can testify to that personally.

A few that could help:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1576834557/103-8408785-0675044?v=glance
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1576830284/ref=nosim/purposefulsingle/
http://www.singleness.org/bookstr/sexual.shtml

May God give you what you need to overcome.

 

[janny108]

Anyone want to share what new activities/relationships you are pursuing in lieu of the free time you used to spend with porn?
Jan

 

[ChristianCenturion]

Anyone want to share what new activities/relationships you are pursuing in lieu of the free time you used to spend with porn?
Jan

Increased devotion time.

Edifying/Testifying of His Salvation (Good News) - something I really didn't do before to my shame

Work around the house on things that were usually put off before (someone mentioned spare time) - gives the saying "Idle hands are the devil's workshop" some credence.

Running away from temptations and thanking Him for helping me.

 

[JesseRaymondBassett]

I personally stuggle with masturbation. I've found that trusting Christ and listening to worship music often gets the issue out of my mind for a short time. I am a guy, but I know how you feel, so feel free to PM me ok?

 

[Shizzle]

i read the rules after i posted this and thought that theyd just delete meh post before it appeared here, sry

 

[janny108]

I SO agree with this advice. I'd struggled with porn for YEARS before coming to CF a year ago. Along with that struggle was, of course, masturbation. While the porn has lost it's grip on me... I still struggle often with the other... and Mr. Cheese is right. Boredom is what triggers it for me now. Boredom and restlessness. I used to read "romance novels" and they would create desires in me that I needed to release. I stopped reading romance novels after I came to CF... so that leaves me with a lot of extra time on my hands.

The challenge is to find other things to do that are constructive. Tonight I read my bible until my eyes started to cross. This marks two weeks since I broke up with my SO. Usually we'd talk on the phone all weekend. This weekend it's been a stretch to find constructive stuff to do... but it hasn't been impossible. "No temptation has siezed you..." I read that scripture tonight. Masturbation is common to man and [wo]man. And God is faithful to provide us with a way out. All the things Mr. Cheese mentioned are ways out. Posting here on CF is a way out.

I'm tempted right now... which is why I looked into your thread. For me, reading Mr. Cheese's words are a way out. I KNOW I need to step away from the computer once I post and go do something constructive. There is a way out.

Yes there are things we can do to fill up the time. I've had to do the same and it was hard at first, but I was committed to do it. In addition to filling time with some of the suggestions offered to you (good ones), draw closer to Jesus than you've ever been! His grace is sufficient for every situation. He offers us completeness IN HIM. I've retemorized scripture and it is a big help when thoughts come. In a way, it's like learning how to walk again. I've read the bible or something related, say 2 or 3x a day. That way it feels I am drinking of the living water Jesus throughout the day. At night used to be really problematic for me. But now I pray, sing songs mentally, just talk to the Lord. It's like re programming your thinking, it will be continuous process.

I thank God for the freedom I am experiencing, and know it will get better with practice.
If you interested in a free course that will be aid in gettting set free from different bondages, please email me.

Jan
Jan

 

[ChristianCenturion]

Man, i spent an hour typing up a reply and then my server login mustve timed out or something cause i lost what i typed.. not gonna retype it all..

"Ye shall observe to do therefore as the LORD your God hath commanded you: ye shall not turn aside to the right hand or to the left. Deuteronmy 5:32"

Lust in the bible means wants
Lust means Sexual desires now
as you can see in a random verse

"And thou shalt bestow that money for whatsoever thy soul lusteth after, for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, or for whatsoever thy soul desireth: and thou shalt eat there before the LORD thy God, and thou shalt rejoice, thou, and thine household, Deuteronmy 14:26"

Masturbation isnt wrong,
Sexual fantasies arent wrong,
Written sexual fantasies arent wrong either

but im just kindof saying this without any support,
if you disagree please say why and use biblical verses

Please read the forum specific rules... sexual struggles forum is not an 'open for debate' zone.

 

[insaneinthebrain]

Please read the forum specific rules... sexual struggles forum is not an 'open for debate' zone.

This is correct. Anyone feeling the need to debate whether or not masturbation, sexual fantasy, etc. is wrong should start up a new discussion in Christian Philosophy and Ethics.

insaneinthebrain - Senior Moderator

 

[Vilnius]

There is a great book for girls dealing with masturbation: My Beautiful Feeling by Walter and Ingrid Trobisch. I had a little trouble finding it but I see a web address on the back of quietwaterspub.com

 

[Shuneequia]

I deal with this stuff immensely, and if I may add without sounding like I'm restarting a debate, masturbation opens doors for sin to make it's way in. Weather it's a sin or not,to you, it clearly can lead people into sexual fantasy, porn, ect... Free time is rather hard to deal with, I definite agree with this fact. For me this is when I'm tempted. James 4:7 states "Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." This I know can be hard, I'm resisting as I type. But the more I remind myself the only one who can fill this desire of Love, which is the case for me, is not sex or the like but Jesus, the easier dealing with this is. Usually if I go aside and pray or worship the Lord, Satan is going to run. Other times I refuse to get away from the problem at hand and I slip up again. This happens sometimes when I'm having a guilt trip. Satan tries to remind me that I've messed up before and will mess up again, just go with it. This is when I should cry out for God's help.(Or remind Satan of his future He He)

Person who started this, Thanks for addressing the topic, I know I've heard some good advise and I hope I've given some. Last thought. IF THE SPIRIT SAYS NO...YOU DON'T GO

 

[TheMainException]

..............
Person who started this, Thanks for addressing the topic, I know I've heard some good advise and I hope I've given some. Last thought. IF THE SPIRIT SAYS NO...YOU DON'T GO

You're welcome.....some good constructive things to do:

Go window shopping
Read fantasy books or some other books such as that (Ted Dekker is a very good Christian author who writes awesome books....)
Build something
Write a poem
Write a story
Paint
Draw
Listen to muzik
Eat icecream (I don't recommend that for ALL freetime )
Clean
Run or some sort of exercise.....


Anyone got any others?

 

[c00kiez_R_yuMMy]

I've got a huge "m" problem too. I'm working on it. So Somebody please pray for me!!!! Thanx!!!!! - Brenda

 

[mynameisjosh23]

I have also been struggling with the big "m" word. I am a male, and it is becoming so horrible! It is happening almost daily, and I am starting to get bored on the computer and I am looking up not so good images. I just joined the forums today, and I am GLAD that this topic was created!!! I have always wondered the same thing. I want to quit so bad, but is becoming an addiction. May somebody pray for me as well?

 

[janny108]

Yes I agree. By coming out in the light with this, you are already starting to diminish the power of darkness in your life. I encourage you to possibly get an internet filter so when you are online, you can't go to where you were going before. Confess to God and possibly others who may have been involved. Tell a few people about this and welcome their prayers and possibly advice. I realize everyone is different, but a lot of folks have been set free via Setting Captives Free. It is a free online course that is 60 days long. I'm doing this and am getting stronger everyday.


But the main thing is DO SOMETHING about this now. God is gracious and merciful and our getting entangled in sin is nothing new. Thousands of people including pastors and sunday school teachers are getting the help they need and miracles are happening. Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP the fight.

Jan

 

[Marie D]

There are times that I get thoughts or feelings that I know are lustful and could lead to M but thankfully I have never committed that sin. If I feel temptation I make sure I do not touch those parts and instead I do something productive for other people, such as praying or writing to the girl that I sponsor in Africa.
IMHO M is one of the most selfish things a human being can do, because it brings pleasure to yourself alone and nobody else. I remind myself that my life is a blessing from God and using it in this way would be very unproductive.
However I think it's very brave of the girls on CF to admit to having done this thing because it's not an easy thing for a Christian woman to admit to.

 

[janny108]

Yes it takes a lot of courage to come out and bring this into the light.
Jan

 

[horuhe00]

I started masturbating like in 5th or 6th grade. And at the time, I didn't even know about it! I just found out by myself. Then with the wonders of internet, porn stopped being something I heard about and started being something I had at my fingertips. And it's true that one thing leads to another. You can think of any type of porn and Ive probably seen it. But porn is something that I have stopped looking at this year and I plan not to look at again. I had tried many times before and I'd last a month or two but this time it's for real.
As for masturbation, I don't know if it's a sin or not but what I do know is that it can be addicting. Ive thought that it's better to release yourself than to keep it bottled inside and end up sleeping with someone. Ive also read that biologicaly, it's good for males and females to touch from time to time. But it's addicting and I'm trying to cut down. I think the bad part about masturbation is the fantasy and thinking of people you know. Basicaly, it's the lust part that I think is the sin.
On the bright side, once your married, anything goes and I don't think you can lust over your hubby/wifey so your not sinning.
And if anyone wants to PM me too, you can do it. I'd love to help out in any way.