Masturbation as a sin

[Lots of Questions]

I see. But what is the Biblical definition for "sex", specifically? And are lustful thoughts the same as the act of sex itself (judging by what Jesus said about adultery when you look at a woman lustfully)?
And what if a person can touch without thinking about a woman (or a man, though idk how genderless Jesus's remark was)? There are countless fetishes that people in the world have, some don't involve "looking at" a real physical person, or a person at all. Some people can touch without sexual thoughts, though I guess that wouldn't completely count as masturbation.
What makes masturbation the same as sex, considering it's a private thing that only involves one person? Since it doesn't result in offspring and there's no other person to form one flesh with, how are both acts often considered equal in terms of being like the same sexual sin?
I know this sounds like looking for loopholes but are there matters where we can only use our own idea or understanding and have to trust that it's correct since the Bible is not specific about it? Unlike sins like murder or lying which are usually easy to discern.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

I see. But what is the Biblical definition for "sex", specifically? And are lustful thoughts the same as the act of sex itself (judging by what Jesus said about adultery when you look at a woman lustfully)?
And what if a person can touch without thinking about a woman (or a man, though idk how genderless Jesus's remark was)? There are countless fetishes that people in the world have, some don't involve "looking at" a real physical person, or a person at all. Some people can touch without sexual thoughts, though I guess that wouldn't completely count as masturbation.
What makes masturbation the same as sex, considering it's a private thing that only involves one person? Since it doesn't result in offspring and there's no other person to form one flesh with, how are both acts often considered equal in terms of being like the same sexual sin?
I know this sounds like looking for loopholes but are there matters where we can only use our own idea or understanding and have to trust that it's correct since the Bible is not specific about it? Unlike sins like murder or lying which are usually easy to discern.

To put it bluntly, it appears that sperm is a very precious thing to God and He is very specific to where we should be putting it.

I do realize where you are trying to come from. No virgin to the topic here. Until one day I realized God could see everything I was doing.

What do you think about that? That God may be watching you?

Yes, at time we are dirty little sinners.

But, we had better be careful because, when our dDaddy whips us it can be painful!

M-Bob

 

[Anguspure]

But how are we failing to love our neighbour by masturbating? It's an act that doesn't affect our neighbour since it's done in private (unless it isn't, of course).

No man is an island.

The person that we are always has an impact on our relationships with everyone around us.

The purpose that God has created us for, and redeemed us for is Loving relationship with God and man. We should be careful to fill our thoughts, minds and lives with things that facilitate His purpose and shun those that do not.

"brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

All of us who have practiced masturbation know full well that it fits none of these things and so our very character is harmed. Not that any of us should stand condemned but that we should be fully aware that the practice is not in the perfect Will of God.

Or do you mean we have to love our neighbour through every single act we do? Because that sounds impossible.

LOL Did not Christ Jesus do this, and are we not called to be imitators of Him? But of course it is impossible (although with God all things are possible)!

Jesus was the only one without sin, the rest of us, in terms of the flesh at least, continue to battle with sin for the rest of our lives in this mortal body.

What do you think grace is for? Clearly it is to cover for the things that we do that are not in accordance with His will, and that the evil one might use against us to condemn us.

 

[Anguspure]

But what makes it a sin exactly? Or what specific proof is there that it IS a sin? God sees people have sex too.

God created sex in order that the man and the woman are joined in the flesh.
I have long wondered exactly what this means because clearly the majority of sexual acts do not result in conception, which is one thing that it could mean.

And we are also encouraged to take God at His word in Faith so what is being revealed below should not detract from the authority of His Word.

Recently I have read a couple of things from the front line of neuroscience which, incidentaly, is bringing modern psychology into line with the Bible very quickly, and some of the stuff I have read would indicate that relationship between people is not simply what we see on a surface level.

Rather our relationships with people are imprinted on our brains, in a way that they become a part of who we are at a neurological level, and the closer and more strongly emotional the relationship, the more imprinted we become on one another.

In adult life it is difficult to envisage a relationship that is more emotionally connected than a sexual relationship and the level of neurological mirroring and imprinting could well become such that the flesh (in the brain) of a married couple does indeed become one and the same.

I am not saying that what I have written is how it really is or perfectly accurate but the concept has swung my thinking more over to the side of the sanctity of marrital sex and the very flawed nature of any sexual act, at a fundamental level of the person, that is not in accordance with that relationship.

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."

 

[carolina16]

If you have thoughts of lust, do not do it. If you feel dirty after that, do not do it.

 

[Grip Docility]

I'm an adult in my mid 20's, I know I'm not the most mature person in the world but I've been struggling with this a lot lately. I'm not addicted to masturbation but I feel like I can't avoid doing it every once in a while, and I think the reason it bothers me so much is because I can't be 100% sure whether it's a sin or not.
If I don't touch like once a week I get too overwhelmed by stress from my everyday life. But if I do touch, I fear that I may be going against God. I know the second is more important but even so it's not easy to control it.
The thing is, I've researched as much as I could but I can't find any scripture that I think is absolutely about this. I've seen Christians quote that part where Jesus talks about "looking at a woman with lust". Or the Onan story. Or some quotes from Paul about how the body is the temple of Christ and self control.
I asked a priest and he told me masturbation IS a sin. But I've also seen Christians on the Internet saying masturbation is the lesser of two evils if it means it can be a release that stops you from commiting a worse sin (like fornication?). Doctors regardless of religion seem to say it's healthy and that it's okay as long as it's not addictive.

So I have a bunch of questions about this subject:

• What scriptures are the most clear about masturbation being a sin (if it is)?
• What did Jesus mean when he said that about looking at a woman with lust? I mean it's quite impossible to never absolutely ever get turned on by someone (unwillingly).
• What is the healthiest alternative to masturbation? I mean I try to distract myself, pray, read the scriptures. But I still get stressed out and weak eventually.
• If it's a sin, why is it a sin? I've been told at some point that a sin is something that means you are not loving someone else (and that you love or unlove God by your actions towards other people). Who isn't loved when you touch? I'm currently single but I would obviously put my partner in the first place if I were with one. If it's offensive to God then why exactly would He pick something as arbitrary and specific as this? I know pornography can come into play but do porn performers feel unloved if someone masturbates to them?
  
• If it's a sin, how bad as a sin is it? Or are all sins equal? I've learned at some point that some sins are mortal, others aren't.
• Do average Christians touch? Or are they being honest when many of them imply or claim they don't?

I think a reason this bothers me so much was that even though I hardly ever masturbated before becoming a Christian, I wasn't worried back then about whether it was a sin or not, it was just a mundane action. But now I can't help bringing God into the equation and only thinking about how MAYBE I lose His love or friendship, but only after doing it.
I'm also worried that this may be something many people must struggle with. But I get the impression that most Christians on the Internet that speak against it sound like they never touch and I feel more alienated from them that way since it just seems unnatural to be able to avoid it unless they are asexual.
I live surrounded by Christians but I'm sure most of them at least have premarital sex. I currently don't and I know I can't judge others but I struggle with accepting that every Christian has their own idea of what's right and wrong. I know that common sense could help understanding if something is a sin, and that knowing if you can "do it in the name of God" or "for the Grace of God" can also help, but neither of these apply directly to masturbation. Common sense tells me masturbation is at least healthy (doctors say it) and the other part is just too vague. I know people as friends don't mind if their friends touch in private and Jesus refers to Himself as a friend who just asks us to love each other.

Thanks a lot in advance for any answers!!
God bless.

It goes like this.

There’s two kinds of men.

Those who touch and those who lie.

You can bet that any of the two categories that magically drift outside the spectrum have aged to the point of lower Testosterone.

Don’t get married to find release! That’s a horrible reason. Trust me on this one. The magic of sex can’t make up for a bad marriage partner.

Claim grace and work towards ensuring everything you do is in Love.

Porn will give you unrealistic sexual expectations, so, there’s that.

Seriously work on being a Loving man of God and becoming a person that can be part of another person’s life. Don’t play with hearts and don’t let your heart get played with.

Congratulations. Your a dude.

Spoiler

Now keep it Simple! There’s more to life than our male parts want us to believe.

 

[salt-n-light]

Raise your hands if any guy in here successfully been able to touch without any connection to sexual imagery, thoughts, or temptations...

So then idk how anyone is suggesting that its ok as long as the thoughts are pure. That's like telling a kid, "you can have as much candy as you want, as long as you don't dwell on how yummy it is". That's kind of the point of masturbation...

 

[2Timothy2:15]

I'm an adult in my mid 20's, I know I'm not the most mature person in the world but I've been struggling with this a lot lately. I'm not addicted to masturbation but I feel like I can't avoid doing it every once in a while, and I think the reason it bothers me so much is because I can't be 100% sure whether it's a sin or not.
If I don't touch like once a week I get too overwhelmed by stress from my everyday life. But if I do touch, I fear that I may be going against God. I know the second is more important but even so it's not easy to control it.
The thing is, I've researched as much as I could but I can't find any scripture that I think is absolutely about this. I've seen Christians quote that part where Jesus talks about "looking at a woman with lust". Or the Onan story. Or some quotes from Paul about how the body is the temple of Christ and self control.
I asked a priest and he told me masturbation IS a sin. But I've also seen Christians on the Internet saying masturbation is the lesser of two evils if it means it can be a release that stops you from commiting a worse sin (like fornication?). Doctors regardless of religion seem to say it's healthy and that it's okay as long as it's not addictive.

So I have a bunch of questions about this subject:

• What scriptures are the most clear about masturbation being a sin (if it is)?
• What did Jesus mean when he said that about looking at a woman with lust? I mean it's quite impossible to never absolutely ever get turned on by someone (unwillingly).
• What is the healthiest alternative to masturbation? I mean I try to distract myself, pray, read the scriptures. But I still get stressed out and weak eventually.
• If it's a sin, why is it a sin? I've been told at some point that a sin is something that means you are not loving someone else (and that you love or unlove God by your actions towards other people). Who isn't loved when you touch? I'm currently single but I would obviously put my partner in the first place if I were with one. If it's offensive to God then why exactly would He pick something as arbitrary and specific as this? I know pornography can come into play but do porn performers feel unloved if someone masturbates to them?
  
• If it's a sin, how bad as a sin is it? Or are all sins equal? I've learned at some point that some sins are mortal, others aren't.
• Do average Christians touch? Or are they being honest when many of them imply or claim they don't?

I think a reason this bothers me so much was that even though I hardly ever masturbated before becoming a Christian, I wasn't worried back then about whether it was a sin or not, it was just a mundane action. But now I can't help bringing God into the equation and only thinking about how MAYBE I lose His love or friendship, but only after doing it.
I'm also worried that this may be something many people must struggle with. But I get the impression that most Christians on the Internet that speak against it sound like they never touch and I feel more alienated from them that way since it just seems unnatural to be able to avoid it unless they are asexual.
I live surrounded by Christians but I'm sure most of them at least have premarital sex. I currently don't and I know I can't judge others but I struggle with accepting that every Christian has their own idea of what's right and wrong. I know that common sense could help understanding if something is a sin, and that knowing if you can "do it in the name of God" or "for the Grace of God" can also help, but neither of these apply directly to masturbation. Common sense tells me masturbation is at least healthy (doctors say it) and the other part is just too vague. I know people as friends don't mind if their friends touch in private and Jesus refers to Himself as a friend who just asks us to love each other.

Thanks a lot in advance for any answers!!
God bless.

The answer you are looking for is in your own post. Before you were a Christian it did not matter and you did not care. Now you are a Christian and it all of a sudden is an issue. That is the Holy Spirit bringing it to conviction. Congrats, you are on the path to sanctification Now pray and ask the Lord to help you overcome this and he will.

 

[Phil 1:21]

Jesus tells us to Love our neighbour, this is the one command He gives us.

I cannot fathom how one could consider that masturbation falls within the category of Loving ones neighbour.

If we are not Loving ones neighbour then at that point in time we are disobeying the command of God, and at that point we sin.

By that logic, drinking a glass of water is also sinful. Thankfully though, we are called to follow the word of God, not the opinions of man.

 

[Grip Docility]

I see. But what is the Biblical definition for "sex", specifically? And are lustful thoughts the same as the act of sex itself (judging by what Jesus said about adultery when you look at a woman lustfully)?
And what if a person can touch without thinking about a woman (or a man, though idk how genderless Jesus's remark was)? There are countless fetishes that people in the world have, some don't involve "looking at" a real physical person, or a person at all. Some people can touch without sexual thoughts, though I guess that wouldn't completely count as masturbation.
What makes masturbation the same as sex, considering it's a private thing that only involves one person? Since it doesn't result in offspring and there's no other person to form one flesh with, how are both acts often considered equal in terms of being like the same sexual sin?
I know this sounds like looking for loopholes but are there matters where we can only use our own idea or understanding and have to trust that it's correct since the Bible is not specific about it? Unlike sins like murder or lying which are usually easy to discern.

Grace. You are under grace. You know how empty porn feels and masturbation doesn’t quite scratch the itch, but it happens.

Read good old Romans 7 and read it the right way! You do what you clearly do not want to do.

The religious will help you hate yourself for something they struggle with too, so there’s that. You can sign up and allow other people to dump their self loathing into you, or;

You can cling to Jesus all the more, be honest with Him. He’s your heavenly Daddy and He is interested in who you really are, not who you could pretend to be.

Lust is a sin and guess what? We all have sin. 1 John 1:8 is a great verse.

This will be a lifelong struggle, or not, but for every person that judges you and promises perfection in the flesh now, know they’ve got their own secret sins that they dare not share on this site.

See how that works?

Yeah! Fix your flesh! (But people that extend condemnation and law in place of grace, have their own flesh faults that they keep hiding and deceiving others about).

Jesus Died for us for a reason! He knows we need His Righteousness in place of our failure.

Don’t hate yourself, don’t stop caring about right from wrong and Brother, don’t believe a dude that isn’t honest with you about masturbation.

The whole world can ignore the 1000 pound elephant in the room and throw scripture over him, but he’s still there and good on you for being honest!

Christ Love, Bless and Keep you always.

 

[Anguspure]

By that logic, drinking a glass of water is also sinful. Thankfully though, we are called to follow the word of God, not the opinions of man.

Not at all.

• A glass of water for ourselves provides rehydration so that our bodies can function in the manner that God created;
• A glass of water shared with another creates a sense of relationship and well being as God intended in relatiosnship;
• A glass of water given at your own expense is Agape and in imitation of Him.

No sin in any of that.

Where as:

• Masturbation alone is self gratification is undignified and ignoble and damaging to the self, and;
  
• Masturbation when married adulterates the marriage, is not right, is not pure and is certainly not admirable or praiseworthy.

The only possible benefit I can see in the act of masturbation is where there is no other alternative for an already sexually active person, and to provide temporary relief from the stress of hormone build up in the body, but that is a bit like taking drugs to ward off depression. The long term cons tend to out weigh the short term benefits.

I do not write any of that to condemn anybody (including myself), rather I write to point out the direction in which Our Lord point us on the matter of sex.

 

[Anguspure]

Another aspect of this topic that I feel maybe overlooked is whether we should dwell on whether something is a sin or not at all, and whether we should let our minds dwell on the sins of the flesh.

When we dwell on negative things it sets up a regressive pathway in the mind that makes it more likely that the negative thing will occur again. When we let it drop to the floor and choose to think according to the Spirit of Love and Grace then the negative pathways do not have a chance to consolidate and so are weakened, conversely the good Spirit filled pathways are strengthened.

In his letter to the Romans Paul points out: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.

And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. (Romans 8)

If we are given over to Christ we have given our flesh over to Him in His death: But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.

The sins of the flesh are not our concern therefore.

So rather than concern ourselve with the knowledge of good and evil, what is or is not sin, should we not instead be setting our minds on the things of the Spirit, on the will of our Father.

In this way our minds are full of all that is good and anything that is not of God does not have a foot hold, but if it does cause us to stumble we do not dwell on it, we continue thinking what He wants us to think.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.(Romans 8)

As @Grip Docility wrote: Seriously work on being a Loving man of God and becoming a person that can be part of another person’s life. Don’t play with hearts and don’t let your heart get played with.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Without a big long post. You know what we should be doing or should not be doing. Let your Holy Spirit conscience be your guide.

It's not good not to follow your guide.

Do what's good and right.

From the time you wake in the morning
to the time you go to bed at night.

M-Bob

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

I'm an adult in my mid 20's, I know I'm not the most mature person in the world but I've been struggling with this a lot lately. I'm not addicted to masturbation but I feel like I can't avoid doing it every once in a while, and I think the reason it bothers me so much is because I can't be 100% sure whether it's a sin or not.
If I don't touch like once a week I get too overwhelmed by stress from my everyday life. But if I do touch, I fear that I may be going against God. I know the second is more important but even so it's not easy to control it.
The thing is, I've researched as much as I could but I can't find any scripture that I think is absolutely about this. I've seen Christians quote that part where Jesus talks about "looking at a woman with lust". Or the Onan story. Or some quotes from Paul about how the body is the temple of Christ and self control.
I asked a priest and he told me masturbation IS a sin. But I've also seen Christians on the Internet saying masturbation is the lesser of two evils if it means it can be a release that stops you from commiting a worse sin (like fornication?). Doctors regardless of religion seem to say it's healthy and that it's okay as long as it's not addictive.

So I have a bunch of questions about this subject:

• What scriptures are the most clear about masturbation being a sin (if it is)?
• What did Jesus mean when he said that about looking at a woman with lust? I mean it's quite impossible to never absolutely ever get turned on by someone (unwillingly).
• What is the healthiest alternative to masturbation? I mean I try to distract myself, pray, read the scriptures. But I still get stressed out and weak eventually.
• If it's a sin, why is it a sin? I've been told at some point that a sin is something that means you are not loving someone else (and that you love or unlove God by your actions towards other people). Who isn't loved when you touch? I'm currently single but I would obviously put my partner in the first place if I were with one. If it's offensive to God then why exactly would He pick something as arbitrary and specific as this? I know pornography can come into play but do porn performers feel unloved if someone masturbates to them?
  
• If it's a sin, how bad as a sin is it? Or are all sins equal? I've learned at some point that some sins are mortal, others aren't.
• Do average Christians touch? Or are they being honest when many of them imply or claim they don't?

I think a reason this bothers me so much was that even though I hardly ever masturbated before becoming a Christian, I wasn't worried back then about whether it was a sin or not, it was just a mundane action. But now I can't help bringing God into the equation and only thinking about how MAYBE I lose His love or friendship, but only after doing it.
I'm also worried that this may be something many people must struggle with. But I get the impression that most Christians on the Internet that speak against it sound like they never touch and I feel more alienated from them that way since it just seems unnatural to be able to avoid it unless they are asexual.
I live surrounded by Christians but I'm sure most of them at least have premarital sex. I currently don't and I know I can't judge others but I struggle with accepting that every Christian has their own idea of what's right and wrong. I know that common sense could help understanding if something is a sin, and that knowing if you can "do it in the name of God" or "for the Grace of God" can also help, but neither of these apply directly to masturbation. Common sense tells me masturbation is at least healthy (doctors say it) and the other part is just too vague. I know people as friends don't mind if their friends touch in private and Jesus refers to Himself as a friend who just asks us to love each other.

Thanks a lot in advance for any answers!!
God bless.

So, not that these are all "options" per say, but let's go over them even if hypothetically:

1.) touch
2.) fornicate
3.) wait and marry
4.) have it surgically removed

1.) involves lust
2.) involves lust
3.) involves lust
4.) still will lust

People lust after multitudes of other things than just sex.

Let's look at this in terms of effects:

1.) sinful but safe in many ways
2.) sinful and not safe nor wise: std's, pregnancies, hurting not just hearts but the people they eventually may marry.
3.) This is the way to go, however you may burn with desire so greatly as to rush into a marriage that ends up in divorce, and paying child support, not to mention loosing time with kids, not to mention being unequally "yoked", and so many other horrible situations simply for burning with desire for sex.
4.) purely hypothetical, only mentioned to point out that a person will lust in all of these scenarios.

Anyone is welcome to disagree with me on this, but I think the best we can hope for, considering marriages are not arranged these days, and few parents are into courting, and even fewer young people are, would be to touch and wait, it is a lesser sin than fornication and life is far less complicated. Masturbation will relieve tension and stress and desire, so that you might actually lust less than you would otherwise and be able to think more clearly and be patient about finding the right compatible partner for you. And lust, doesn't just go away after a person is married, though I imagine you're well aware of most everything I've mentioned, but there's just no easy way to go no matter what path a person chooses. So bottom line, I wouldn't recommend 2 or 4. Many recommend 3 exclusively, but I cannot help but wonder how many of those took their own advice...yeah I know good advice is still good advice regardless of the source, but it's easier to give when not in those shoes. I have walked in your shoes, did so for many many many years, and not because I really wanted, to be honest, it just kind of worked out that way, time slipped away, but I came to realize what a porn star I was in my heart, I would look for women to lust after anywhere and everywhere, without ever having experienced that intimacy. Praise God for His mercy and grace, and for the work He does in changing our hearts and minds and removing the lust, pride, and envy from our hearts, for the deliverance in Christ from our wicked ways. Daily renewing of the mind and much spiritual warfare. Godspeed

 

[zoidar]

I'm not addicted to masturbation but I feel like I can't avoid doing it every once in a while, and I think the reason it bothers me so much is because I can't be 100% sure whether it's a sin or not.

I'm wondering the same thing, if it's sin or not. I'm not 100% sure either.

 

[zoidar]

Its not about the masturbation that is bad, its the lust filled thoughts that go with it that might convict you on judgment day.

If you can find a way to relieve your self with out the lust filled thoughts then you will do just fine in life.

We are to clean our hearts and minds from lust.

My advice? Find a woman then Get married ........

How can we be sure it's the lust filled thoughts that makes it sin? How do we know that the action itself isn't a sin?

There is also the problem that sinful thoughts may slip in every now and then, so is it no sin because we chase them away? It's a question I have asked myself.

I don't think you should get a woman because you are struggeling with this. Finding the right woman to marry can take years, maybe as long as 17 years like "Joshua 1 9" said.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Question?
Why is it that sometimes we don't recognize sin even when it is looking us in the face?

Answer
Because it is so easy to be deceived by the one looking at us in the mirror.

M-Bob

 

[zoidar]

Question?
Why is it that sometimes we don't recognize sin even when it is looking us in the face?

Answer
Because it is so easy to be deceived by the one looking at us in the mirror.

M-Bob

But wouldn't it be mentioned somewhere in the NT if masturbation is sin?

 

[Mountainmanbob]

But wouldn't it be mentioned somewhere in the NT if masturbation is sin?

This ain't rocket science!

Does it feel right or does it feel wrong?

If it feels right
start praying deeper tonight.

If it feels wrong
stop playing the song.

Stop playing with that fiddle.

M-Bob

 

[zoidar]

This ain't rocket science!

Does it feel right or does it feel wrong?

If it feels right
start praying deeper tonight.

If it feels wrong
stop playing the song.

Stop playing with that fiddle.

M-Bob

I don't think we can trust our feelings about this. I would prefer to say the inner knowing. But maybe that is what you meant.