I'm an adult in my mid 20's, I know I'm not the most mature person in the world but I've been struggling with this a lot lately. I'm not addicted to masturbation but I feel like I can't avoid doing it every once in a while, and I think the reason it bothers me so much is because I can't be 100% sure whether it's a sin or not.
If I don't touch like once a week I get too overwhelmed by stress from my everyday life. But if I do touch, I fear that I may be going against God. I know the second is more important but even so it's not easy to control it.
The thing is, I've researched as much as I could but I can't find any scripture that I think is absolutely about this. I've seen Christians quote that part where Jesus talks about "looking at a woman with lust". Or the Onan story. Or some quotes from Paul about how the body is the temple of Christ and self control.
I asked a priest and he told me masturbation IS a sin. But I've also seen Christians on the Internet saying masturbation is the lesser of two evils if it means it can be a release that stops you from commiting a worse sin (like fornication?). Doctors regardless of religion seem to say it's healthy and that it's okay as long as it's not addictive.
So I have a bunch of questions about this subject:
- What scriptures are the most clear about masturbation being a sin (if it is)?
- What did Jesus mean when he said that about looking at a woman with lust? I mean it's quite impossible to never absolutely ever get turned on by someone (unwillingly).
- What is the healthiest alternative to masturbation? I mean I try to distract myself, pray, read the scriptures. But I still get stressed out and weak eventually.
- If it's a sin, why is it a sin? I've been told at some point that a sin is something that means you are not loving someone else (and that you love or unlove God by your actions towards other people). Who isn't loved when you touch? I'm currently single but I would obviously put my partner in the first place if I were with one. If it's offensive to God then why exactly would He pick something as arbitrary and specific as this? I know pornography can come into play but do porn performers feel unloved if someone masturbates to them?
- If it's a sin, how bad as a sin is it? Or are all sins equal? I've learned at some point that some sins are mortal, others aren't.
- Do average Christians touch? Or are they being honest when many of them imply or claim they don't?
I think a reason this bothers me so much was that even though I hardly ever masturbated before becoming a Christian, I wasn't worried back then about whether it was a sin or not, it was just a mundane action. But now I can't help bringing God into the equation and only thinking about how MAYBE I lose His love or friendship, but only after doing it.
I'm also worried that this may be something many people must struggle with. But I get the impression that most Christians on the Internet that speak against it sound like they never touch and I feel more alienated from them that way since it just seems unnatural to be able to avoid it unless they are asexual.
I live surrounded by Christians but I'm sure most of them at least have premarital sex. I currently don't and I know I can't judge others but I struggle with accepting that every Christian has their own idea of what's right and wrong. I know that common sense could help understanding if something is a sin, and that knowing if you can "do it in the name of God" or "for the Grace of God" can also help, but neither of these apply directly to masturbation. Common sense tells me masturbation is at least healthy (doctors say it) and the other part is just too vague. I know people as friends don't mind if their friends touch in private and Jesus refers to Himself as a friend who just asks us to love each other.
Thanks a lot in advance for any answers!!
God bless.