Hello everyone, this is my first ever post on this site. Well, to start off this may be a long one haha. While being in high school, I dated a boy for about two years. We were very on and off, and it became very toxic. He was extremely emotionally and mentally abusive towards me. I stayed for so long because I was completely infatuated by him. When the relationship finally ended, I became very depressed and started dating a bunch of guys within a time span of 6 months. I guess I did it to fill the void. One day my mom and I began listening to Joel Osteen podcasts during car rides, I began to give my life to Christ and suddenly didn't feel a void anymore. A few weeks later my ex came back into my life and I saw it as a sign that God wanted us to be together. Two weeks later I found out he had cheated on me. I broke things off with him for good. I found myself dating multiple guys again. One night I laid in bed crying, I spoke to the Lord and told him I did not want this anymore, I've always been the type to settle down and dating around made me feel low. That night I manifested to the Lord everything I wanted in a man, from looks to personality. I told him I was ready to settle down. A few days after I graduated, I met one of my cousins co workers, let's call him Jay. Automatically I found him cute but did not think much into it. My cousin told me that Jay gets red easily and jokingly said "my cousin thinks you're cute." I was kinda embarrassed because although I thought it, I did not actually say it. Later that night, my other cousin that also worked there handed me a napkin with his number on it. I was happy and kind of shocked because everyone said it was so unlike him to do something like that, he was very reserved. It was already late so I figured I'd text him in the morning. Before I went to bed that night, I talked to God, and I remember saying, "God, if this guy is not the one, please don't put me through this again. Please don't waste my time." The next morning I texted him, time went by and about a month and a half in, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. We've had our problems of course, but most of them have came from our families thinking we are too young to be so invested in a relationship. (I'm 19 and he's 23) My thing was, I date with intent. I let him know that from the start, Since the very beginning I told my family about how I'd marry him one day. As time went by, my mother specifically was NOT a fan of our relationship what so ever. This made our relationship get hard because I've always valued my mom's opinions deeply. A little over a year after we became boyfriend and girlfriend, he proposed to me. I said yes of course, but truthfully I felt no support from anyone besides my friends. This has made it extremely hard to enjoy my engagement. A few of my family members are constantly telling me how my relationship won't last, I'm too young and in a few years we will both regret it, I'm going to miss out on so much... etc. My mom does not support it what so ever and whenever I bring up any wedding planning she makes a smart remark and says it's stupid. All these negative remarks and opinions are secretly getting to my head and I'm beginning to doubt myself. The wedding isn't going to happen until I turn 21 anyway but my family still says I'm too young. I've prayed on it but I need some advice or words of wisdom...
