Married men: How important was it to find a beautiful wife?

[JaneFW]

Statistically, really beautiful looking women are freaks.

Or have the money for plastic surgery.

 

[LinkH]

Statistically, really beautiful looking women are freaks.

John
NZ

You'd better watch what you say about my wife.

 

[Johnnz]

Indeed!

John
NZ

 

[WeCryOut]

I'm not sure how important it is to be naturally pretty, more so just to take care of yourself and to wear clothing and hairstyles that are best suited for your face. That makes a world of difference honestly.

I'm not particularly attractive in the conventional sense, but I do try and watch what I eat so that my weight stays appropriate for my height and it helps my skin/hair/teeth look as nice as possible. I don't wear a lot of makeup due to my sensitive skin, but when I do I just wear enough to accent my nicer features. I've never had any problems getting a date, and my husband has always told me that he thinks i'm pretty. I'm pretty sure he is lying, but i'm not going to complain about it. : p

Different men have different taste in women. So long as you take care of yourself being "non-pretty" shouldn't be as much of an issue as you think it would be. Sure, it's important for people to be attracted to their spouses, but that varies from person to person. Having an attractive countenance and taking care of your body goes a long way.

Trust me. I'm the only pale freckle-faced redhead in a family of tan blonde glamazon women. I understand the fear of not measuring up physically, growing up surrounded by gorgeous women I was always worried about my looks. I think you will find that a lot of the insecurities you have are misplaced and that there is probably some guy out there who thinks you are attractive just the way you are.

 

[Sandradee0303]

I heard somewhere in the last couple years that there are no ugly women, just poor ones. Poor being in the education of how to take their features and accent them appropriately.

I don't personally feel like a pretty girl, average maybe. But, I do get looks and comments from men. I never know how to take them though. With my hx of cheating husband I ALWAYS assume that they mean I look good enough to have sex with. I know I can feel sexy but that isn't really what I want to portray.

I think someone hit it on the head here when he said no one can love us until we love ourselves. We are all beautiful in our own way, we just need to see it, accept it, and love it

On my mirror I have positive affirmations: I am beautiful! I am intelligent! God loves me just the way I am! and a few others. You might want to do this. Read it everyday while doing your hair or brushing your teeth. Smile when you are saying these out loud! Believe them in your heart! From what I understand you will eventually believe it.

A lot of beauty is in your confidence in yourself. Walk with your head held high and a smile on your face.

Blessings,
Sandy

 

[Stephen Kendall]

I'm not at all pretty so I just want to know...

I found someone like you who is humble and true. She also says that she is not beautiful. It is good to not be vain. To my heart, she is perfect and quite loving and lovely. What unites souls is their commitments to what they believe in, as well as loving someone who loves you back. Out doing each other in love is a huge plus. My wife fulfills me. I am not interested in lust of a over-rated female body, other than the passion that I have for my wife. How could any man be Christian if he lusted for females with so-called perfect bodies?

 

[thelovingprayerer]

man i wish i had a pretty wife, now i have to wake up to the same horse face cretin evry morning, exept for sundays, shes at church then

 

[peckaboo]

man i wish i had a pretty wife, now i have to wake up to the same horse face cretin evry morning, exept for sundays, shes at church then

Well, she's certainly a lucky lady to be able to wake up to you every day... *eyeroll*

Lovely Lily, I'm female so perhaps not qualified to answer your question from a man's perspective, but I think part of what makes a person physically attractive is loving their personality. My husband and I were friends for about 13 years before we got married, and didn't feel any strong attraction to each other, and when I did eventually fall in love with him it was with his personality first, then with his face. But now? He's the hottest, most handsome man in the world to me, and I cen't imagine ever having thought differently.

There are plenty of people in the world who certainly don't have modelling careers ahead of them (I'm one ) but who are stunning in somebody's eyes. And the reverse is also true - look at how many gorgeous celebrity couples break up because one partner the other for someone else.

 

[pappastratos]

mmm, all women are attractive ! I am lucky man, my wife is very attractive. She has always been attractive, even from a child. Brunette, ( have always loved brunettes) nice curves, not skinny. She could liked anyone else, other men would have been happy to have her as their wife, but she chose me,, I can't even dance,,,

 

[sdmsanjose]

Honestly, most young men I know are very attracted to beautiful women. Even older men are attracted to them; it seems like we are wired to be drawn to an attractive woman.

It is a known fact that pretty women have an advantage in just about every way. Look at the movies, look at advertizing, look at the magazines, pretty women get preference in being hired in many fields, etc. It is true that men have different criteria for beauty but I don’t think it varies a lot.

However, when you get older beauty does not mean as much as when young. In time the personality and values that a woman has becomes much more important than beauty IMO.


So to answer your question of
Married men: How important was it to find a beautiful wife?

My wife's beauty attracted me but I would not have married a woman for just her beauty. My girlfriend a first attracted me with her good looks but it was her personality and values that captured me so to become my wife. So beauty was important but not the most important for me.

 

[Tannic]

Looks are deceiving. At first it was important but as time went on I found out that the prettiest girl around is not attractive to me. I mean yes a woman want her man to attracted to her but I looked at them as a whole person. And after this, finding a beautiful wife wasn't at all that important to me. I think what makes a woman beautiful, in my case, is knowing her for who she is and not what my flesh wants.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Beauty is like a fresh sandwhich that uses fresh meat, bread...etc! It looks wonderful until you leave it out for a week straight. lol

Beauty fade away over time. We all get wrinkles, grey hair, more weight...etc. To me beauty has never played a roll in who I choose. Although the world makes you think it matters when it does not.

I've been with women who think they are the most hideous people ever and I thought they were beautiful (inside and out). Problem is if you worry about not looking good enough it will make a relatinoship hard. The one girl I was with, no matter how much I stared into her eyes and said she was beautiful, she would just put her self down more. It was stressful and eventually she left me because she really thought she was to ugly to be with. The world won with her. :-/

So don't worry about beauty. It goes away over time. But beauty in the heart does not!

 

[anunbeliever]

Dont listen to platitudes like "beauty is only skin deep", for the majority of men must find a potential partner at least somewhat physically attractive to maintain romantic interest. - Especially when courting. Those that say physical beauty is not a factor are either that rare (and admirable) breed who honestly feel that way, or they are lying to themselves.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Yep most do prefer certain things. I am the rare breed that doens't care really. Ive been with all shapes, heights, weights, races...etc.

 

[Ivan650CRWC]

I'm not married but it would be nice to have a beautiful wife who you get along with. Im not worried right now though not planning on getting married soon. ARE we suppose to leave a religious comment or advice . Confused Oh Wellat least i can comment now

 

[Conservativation]

Dont listen to platitudes like "beauty is only skin deep", for the majority of men must find a potential partner at least somewhat physically attractive to maintain romantic interest. - Especially when courting. Those that say physical beauty is not a factor are either that rare (and admirable) breed who honestly feel that way, or they are lying to themselves.

This is true. And saying "dont care about beauty because it fades" is like saying dont look after yourself because you will fade. In its purist form, if you really feel that beauty has ZERO import, then I would expect that you treat yourself that same way, you cannot at once try and look the best you can, and say you dont care about looks.

Im not sure why it seems offensive to some women that men have some standard of looks, and I do not understand why some men want to say they dont care a wit about looks except that it generates a lot of nice compliments from women. Stating who you have "been with" doesn't state a standard truly anyway.

We have found a man that uniquely cares about sexually satisfying his wife, and doesnt care at all what she looks like. Is this a romance novel?

 

[Conservativation]

Beauty is like a fresh sandwhich that uses fresh meat, bread...etc! It looks wonderful until you leave it out for a week straight. lol

Beauty fade away over time. We all get wrinkles, grey hair, more weight...etc. To me beauty has never played a roll in who I choose. Although the world makes you think it matters when it does not.

I've been with women who think they are the most hideous people ever and I thought they were beautiful (inside and out). Problem is if you worry about not looking good enough it will make a relatinoship hard. The one girl I was with, no matter how much I stared into her eyes and said she was beautiful, she would just put her self down more. It was stressful and eventually she left me because she really thought she was to ugly to be with. The world won with her. :-/

So don't worry about beauty. It goes away over time. But beauty in the heart does not!

The bold just isnt the case.

The beauty attracts, the other hidden things then cement the relationship, which then makes the fading beauty a non issue as time goes by. It would be silly to think that anyone will look EXACTLY the same over time, and while there may be people who go through partners fast, changing often for the looks, the far more normal thing is to be attracted to the looks enough to get to know the other stuff.

There is no great virtue in claiming you dont care at all about looks, though I realize that popular relationship culture (especially among Christians) have made even admitting attraction into a mine field that should not even exist

 

[anunbeliever]

Beauty is the "starter motor" of a relationship. Once you get to know your spouse and come to appreciate their deeper qualities, beauty wont matter as it fades with age (as said by Conservation).

I'm not talking about supermodel looks. But for any guy considering a girl to date, there has to be some initial physical attraction.

 

[DZoolander]

Exactly.

Attraction is a complex thing - built over time. But there has to be an initial "Hey, that's someone that catches my eye".

I've been married for a while now, but I remember back when I was single. I had plenty of women friends. The ones I found attractive, I tried to pursue dating. The ones I didn't find attractive were just friends (and never could have progressed further in my eyes.)

Does that mean I wanted to seriously date every attractive woman I met? Nah. Often I found them vapid and unbearable to be around. But, every now and then I found one that appealed to me on all levels to some degree or another. Eventually, I married the one that I found irresistable

 

[jinksto]

Beautiful to me--extremely important.

Beautiful by a worldly standard--irrelevant to me.

Spot on. Completely irrelevant.