Marriage

[imind]

Oops, #2. I would have to say no. If you are not going by what God ordained to be marriage, biblical marriage, then it is not "real" marriage...

neither god nor 'the church' invented marriage; it was happening long before the church laid claim to it. so why does 'the church' get to define what it means?

(1) ... That is God's created order since the first marriage.

again, false.

 

[FijianBeliever]

neither god nor 'the church' invented marriage; it was happening long before the church laid claim to it. so why does 'the church' get to define what it means?

I'm interested to know how you reached the conclusion that God did not invent marriage.

 

[Cooch]

I'm interested to know how you reached the conclusion that God did not invent marriage.

As am I.

Especially which scripture will be quoted in support.

Curiously......... Peter

 

[lilymarie]

Yep, me three.

Have a scriptural support Imind, coz, btw, I mind.

So... we're waiting....Mr. Mind.... hmmmm.... got any scriptural support for dat?

 

[helenofbritain]

I'm interested to hear so many of you say that you don't think it's a probalem to get married in church - a house of God. SInce this is a Christian forum I'll assume we are all Christians, and want to have Christian marriages. If we are committed to God, and want him to bless our marriage and be a part of our marriage, why not invite him to the wedding? (The easiest way to do this is to have it at His house, of course...)

Besides which, weddings are a great opportunity to witness your faith to your friends and family. It's one way you can stand up and be counted - and the Sprit may move some of your guiests closer to God. It's been known to happen. Carpe diem!!

 

[HeavenzAngel]

I'm interested to hear so many of you say that you don't think it's a probalem to get married in church - a house of God. SInce this is a Christian forum I'll assume we are all Christians, and want to have Christian marriages. If we are committed to God, and want him to bless our marriage and be a part of our marriage, why not invite him to the wedding? (The easiest way to do this is to have it at His house, of course...)

Besides which, weddings are a great opportunity to witness your faith to your friends and family. It's one way you can stand up and be counted - and the Sprit may move some of your guiests closer to God. It's been known to happen. Carpe diem!!

its a christianforum, but other faiths and different types of christians are on here. GOD is invited to all weddings since he owns the world, and can do as he please.

Anyways, I do not want a wedding period, they are too much money and hassle.

 

[Tpolg]

You can say that again! My cousin recently got married, and they dropped $15,000 on the wedding, do you realize you could buy a car for that?

I think a nice walk in the woods, pronounce vows, and then a nice diner would do me just fine.

 

[HeavenzAngel]

You can say that again! My cousin recently got married, and they dropped $15,000 on the wedding, do you realize you could buy a car for that?

I think a nice walk in the woods, pronounce vows, and then a nice diner would do me just fine.

my cousins best friend spent almost 17,000 on her wedding. I could spend that money on clothes for me and my mate, and other things to. if i have a wedding its gonna be where there are real flowers, trees and water.

 

[Joykins]

Most of the money should be spent on feeding and entertaining the guests. Jesus turned the water into wine at a wedding feast...

 

[HeavenzAngel]

true,

my cousins friend spent little money on guest and more on her dress and decrations.

 

[artybloke]

Yep, me three.

Have a scriptural support Imind, coz, btw, I mind.

So... we're waiting....Mr. Mind.... hmmmm.... got any scriptural support for dat?

Why do you need a scriptural support for it? I don't know of any religion/any society that doesn't in some way istitutionalise marriage. Even far-flung islands in the Pacific had marriage before Westerners got there.

Only for them it's Vishnu/Allah/the Buddha/Odin/Zeus who start it off.

Of course Christians are going to say God did it. But why is that any more true than saying it was started by Odin? It was started because society needed some way of regulating human relationships so people could pass on property rights from one generation to the next.

 

[beehoney]

I'm interested to hear so many of you say that you don't think it's a probalem to get married in church - a house of God. SInce this is a Christian forum I'll assume we are all Christians, and want to have Christian marriages. If we are committed to God, and want him to bless our marriage and be a part of our marriage, why not invite him to the wedding? (The easiest way to do this is to have it at His house, of course...)

Besides which, weddings are a great opportunity to witness your faith to your friends and family. It's one way you can stand up and be counted - and the Sprit may move some of your guiests closer to God. It's been known to happen. Carpe diem!!

I don't believe God only lives inside buildings we have built and chosen to use as houses of worship. "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them."

 

[FijianBeliever]

Originally Posted by helenofbritain
I'm interested to hear so many of you say that you don't think it's a probalem to get married in church - a house of God. SInce this is a Christian forum I'll assume we are all Christians, and want to have Christian marriages. If we are committed to God, and want him to bless our marriage and be a part of our marriage, why not invite him to the wedding? (The easiest way to do this is to have it at His house, of course...)

Besides which, weddings are a great opportunity to witness your faith to your friends and family. It's one way you can stand up and be counted - and the Sprit may move some of your guiests closer to God. It's been known to happen. Carpe diem!!

The first "joining" of a man and a woman was done by God, in a Garden.

Why do you need a scriptural support for it? I don't know of any religion/any society that doesn't in some way istitutionalise marriage. Even far-flung islands in the Pacific had marriage before Westerners got there.

Only for them it's Vishnu/Allah/the Buddha/Odin/Zeus who start it off.

Of course Christians are going to say God did it. But why is that any more true than saying it was started by Odin? It was started because society needed some way of regulating human relationships so people could pass on property rights from one generation to the next.

WE do not worship, nor have we ever worshipped Vishnu/Allah/the Buddha/Odin/Zeus in the Pacific. You have us confused with Hindus/Arabs/Asians/Scandanavians/Greeks.

The Scriptural support for marriage:

Genesis 2
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, '
for she was taken out of man."
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Marriage was initiated by God so that Man could have a helper. Property rights, like the actual ceremony different cultures follow today, was tagged onto marriage by humans later.

God Bless You All,
Isaia

 

[helenofbritain]

The first "joining" of a man and a woman was done by God, in a Garden.

Hiya - you seem to have missed my points.

1. Getting married in God's house. This may mean less to a Protestant, but as a Catholic who believes God is really present in the tabernacle of my church, it would make sense to have him physically there, not just spiritually (as he is in all things). I understand if you don't all see it that way though

2. Witnessing. OK, so you're a Christian. Good for you. Do your friends know that? Can you stand up for your faith? A good way to make SURE they know is to get married in a church, where it's pretty hard for your guests to miss it. You could be opening a window in their sould by getting them in the door, and then God could do the rest...

Wedding costs are ridiculous. You'll have to factor in exchange rates ($A1 - $US0.74), but in Australia in 2000, the average wedding cost $A26 000. In 2005 the average wedding cost $35 000. That's a deposit on a house. Getting married in a church doesnt' cost more though - it's around $200 for the priest and the churhc comes free. That's gotta be cheaper than hiring the chairs and the decorations for a garden wedding, right? Not to mention the celebrant...

But I guess I'm letting my personal preferences out hewre, right? Still, that's what I think. Doesn't mean you have to think the same

 

[Tpolg]

1. Getting married in God's house. This may mean less to a Protestant, but as a Catholic who believes God is really present in the tabernacle of my church, it would make sense to have him physically there, not just spiritually (as he is in all things). I understand if you don't all see it that way though

OK, I get it, you are typing about the host. But really, that can be anywhere; it does not have to be in a specific building.

2. Witnessing. OK, so you're a Christian. Good for you. Do your friends know that? Can you stand up for your faith? A good way to make SURE they know is to get married in a church, where it's pretty hard for your guests to miss it. You could be opening a window in their sould by getting them in the door, and then God could do the rest...

I actually think the building could get in the way. A lot of agnostics and even atheists get married in “chapels” why would they necessarily see a ‘church” as being fundamentally different? It is the solemn vows before YHVH, and the display of faith, love, and obedience before Him that is the true message.

Wedding costs are ridiculous. You'll have to factor in exchange rates ($A1 - $US0.74), but in Australia in 2000, the average wedding cost $A26 000. In 2005 the average wedding cost $35 000. That's a deposit on a house. Getting married in a church doesnt' cost more though - it's around $200 for the priest and the churhc comes free. That's gotta be cheaper than hiring the chairs and the decorations for a garden wedding, right? Not to mention the celebrant...

Tpolg’s ideal wedding,
Special spot of which he knows of in the St. John National Forest: $0
Heirloom wedding dress: $0
Flowers from home: $0
Colorado mirage license, no celebrant necessary: $5
Catching a bite at Charlie’s afterward: $150
Spending your life with the helpmeet the Creator made just for you: Priceless

 

[FijianBeliever]

Hiya - you seem to have missed my points.

1. Getting married in God's house. This may mean less to a Protestant, but as a Catholic who believes God is really present in the tabernacle of my church, it would make sense to have him physically there, not just spiritually (as he is in all things). I understand if you don't all see it that way though

2. Witnessing. OK, so you're a Christian. Good for you. Do your friends know that? Can you stand up for your faith? A good way to make SURE they know is to get married in a church, where it's pretty hard for your guests to miss it. You could be opening a window in their sould by getting them in the door, and then God could do the rest...

Wedding costs are ridiculous. You'll have to factor in exchange rates ($A1 - $US0.74), but in Australia in 2000, the average wedding cost $A26 000. In 2005 the average wedding cost $35 000. That's a deposit on a house. Getting married in a church doesnt' cost more though - it's around $200 for the priest and the churhc comes free. That's gotta be cheaper than hiring the chairs and the decorations for a garden wedding, right? Not to mention the celebrant...

But I guess I'm letting my personal preferences out hewre, right? Still, that's what I think. Doesn't mean you have to think the same

Point taken. Although I do not agree with some issues you raised, they are your preferences.

ps...our pastors do not charge to conduct a wedding.

 

[HeavenzAngel]

I dont want a wedding because I dont want people to stare at me, plus I hate dresses alot. If I get married it will be somewhere beautiful.

 

[beehoney]

Hiya - you seem to have missed my points.

1. Getting married in God's house. This may mean less to a Protestant, but as a Catholic who believes God is really present in the tabernacle of my church, it would make sense to have him physically there, not just spiritually (as he is in all things). I understand if you don't all see it that way though

2. Witnessing. OK, so you're a Christian. Good for you. Do your friends know that? Can you stand up for your faith? A good way to make SURE they know is to get married in a church, where it's pretty hard for your guests to miss it. You could be opening a window in their sould by getting them in the door, and then God could do the rest...

Wedding costs are ridiculous. You'll have to factor in exchange rates ($A1 - $US0.74), but in Australia in 2000, the average wedding cost $A26 000. In 2005 the average wedding cost $35 000. That's a deposit on a house. Getting married in a church doesnt' cost more though - it's around $200 for the priest and the churhc comes free. That's gotta be cheaper than hiring the chairs and the decorations for a garden wedding, right? Not to mention the celebrant...

But I guess I'm letting my personal preferences out hewre, right? Still, that's what I think. Doesn't mean you have to think the same

I believe a little differently. God is physically present with me every where I can possibly go. If I had had the reverend come to my house to perform my wedding ceremony in my living room with a few guests there I don't think I would be any less married in God's eyes. As a matter of fact, that's how my church was started--in someone's living room.

 

[Assisi]

I think that nonCatholics can get married outside a church building (afterall, the Protestant churches I have seen are just a hall anyway). And of course, that marriage is still valid. But I would have thought it would be preferable to get married in a church, and I would have a serious talk with a Catholic who didn't want to get married in a church because of our theology about the Eucharist. I don't think that helen of britain (HI!) is saying that a marriage outside a church is not valid. Just that inside a church is preferable (right?).

Don't worry Heveans angel, dresses and a huge crowd do not make a marriage valid. Eve wasn't wearing anything, they were naked and knew no shame (Iwouldn't recommend this though, we now live in a fallen world). A crowd is not necesary, but I do believe witnesses are. My brother and sister inlaw got married in the presence of only a priest (who is a good friend), family, and about ten friends. It was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to.

I would worry about the Biblical principles of marriage (which the church continues to teach), not about the secular trappings of a wedding. I will base all my points on the theology described by St Paul in Eph 5 and other places about Christ's relationship to the Church. Marriage is a sign of Christ's love for His Church. (Eph 5), and the Church (that's you and me) is Christ's bride (Rev 19).

First, we know from our experience as Christians that Christ does not force us to be with Him. We each have a choice about being Christian and loving God. So, in marriage you should have that choice too. Both you and your future husband should consent to the marriage.

Second, we know that eternity is forever. We are not going to get to heaven and then give up on God (nor will God give up on us). So, marriage is a lifelong commitment. Otherwise we are not mirroring Christ's love for His Church. See John 4:17-18 and Matt 19:9 for examples of Christ's teaching on the 'for life' side of marriage. If a couple do not intend to stay together for life then I would say that is not a valid marriage.

Third, Christ has one bride, the Church. Christ does not have several people, He has one people. Us. God descibes himself as a jealous God, and idolatory (which is like being adulterous in your relationship with God) is against the first commandment. God expects us the be 'monogomous' in our relationship to Him, and so marriage should be monogomous. It should be between one man and one woman only.

Fourth, The first thing God said to Adam and Eve after their marriage was to be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth. (I do not want to get into a birth control fight. You are free to disagree with me, let's just not go there). God is fruitful in our lives, and he gives us new life through our relationship with Him. So I think that if a couple do not intend ever to have children then the marriage would not be valid.

Finally, there are a couple of other things from the Bible which had an impact on how my husband and I planned our wedding. I do not believe these to be essential to marriage though. In Revelation the Church is described as dressed in white linen, the deeds of the saints. I wore white on my wedding day to emphasise the symbolism of the Bible, (well, that was one of my reasons). Also, marriage is often linked with a feast (Cana, the wedding feast of the Lamb). For this reason it was important to us to have a meal with our guests after our ceremony.

Sorry about my super long post!

 

[helenofbritain]

Point taken. Although I do not agree with some issues you raised, they are your preferences.

ps...our pastors do not charge to conduct a wedding.

Ours don't 'charge' either, but since priests in my diocese are only on $12 000 a year it's nice to chip in, don't you think? It's a donation, not a requirement. But when many people pay so much for a wedding it seems stingy not to help your preist out - particulalrly as they are usually good friends of the couple!

And wedding don't need to be big and expensive. Mine was big - but I had 50 CLOSE relatives to invite, plus not so close, plus friends, plus my husband's family (i think it was 106 altoghether)
and it cost less than $5000. And most of that was food and drink.

And we were in a church and we had a ball!!