Marriage in Trouble

[PreachersWife2004]

Of course. But she is not here. And she is the woman.

We as men have special responsbility and we should always ask us what we have done wrong when there is a problem. Have we loved our women and children enough? Have we given them the spiritual care they need? Have we protected them? Even from their own stupidity? Drew told us how his wife and that other guy, let's call him the SOB, were behaving inapprobriately. He should have made a scene. He should maybe even have knocked out the SOB.

Drew, don't give up on your marriage and you wife. Obviously I do not know you but I wonder whether saying to her that your door is still open for her is enough. Does she know that you actually WANT her back? Because you desparately love her. Even though she is so silly and stupid and immature. Does she know that she is the greatest, sexiest and most beautiful girl in the world for you. Because you want and need to be with her. Oh, and maybe it is not too late to go and knock out that SOB before he causes more damage.

Um, holy cow, where to start with this??

The only thing I have time to address right now is that never EVER advise someone to go knock someone else out. When I'm counseling abused women I don't even give that advice. That is by far the worst advice you could ever give.

 

[Drew1986]

Um, holy cow, where to start with this??

The only thing I have time to address right now is that never EVER advise someone to go knock someone else out. When I'm counseling abused women I don't even give that advice. That is by far the worst advice you could ever give.

Actually, in my anger I did, sinfully, say I was going to do that. How did that work out? She instantly became very worried....about him. It is one thing to protect, its another to react solely out of anger. I recall a certain St. Peter who got cheesed off at one of those Roman soldiers....

 

[Till]

Actually, in my anger I did, sinfully, say I was going to do that. How did that work out? She instantly became very worried....about him.

Very sorry to hear that. Ignore me. Things are obviously much worse than my simple, old-fashioned mind can comprehend. Sorry for the foolish suggestion. I will shut up now.

 

[Used and abused]

I find it interesting how we can continue to discuss how wrong the wife is here and Till brings up the point about the wife... Not that we need to go into bias here but we have not even heard her side. As an older woman, I know what it is like to deal with struggles in marriage but very rarely is it one-sided. Is it right to talk to her ex? Not a chance. Was it right to put her head in a friends lap. No way! My question is, how have you been treating her? You mentioned leaving her family, joining the church, etc. Sounds like she made some sacrifices and I am wondering how your relationship is or was? I know what it is like to be in a marriage where emotional abuse was present. Communication is so important and I am wondering what that was like..intimacy..trust..? As the head of the household, do you feel you've honored your vows? Have you loved your wife the way you love yourself and take care of your own body?

The spiritual aspect is very concerning but it sounds like there could be deeper issues here. You mentioned that you both came from broken homes, maybe there is unresolved issues there. I will continue to pray that you and your wife will find peace and follow God's will for your lives.

 

[Luther073082]

I find it interesting how we can continue to discuss how wrong the wife is here and Till brings up the point about the wife... Not that we need to go into bias here but we have not even heard her side. As an older woman, I know what it is like to deal with struggles in marriage but very rarely is it one-sided. Is it right to talk to her ex? Not a chance. Was it right to put her head in a friends lap. No way! My question is, how have you been treating her? You mentioned leaving her family, joining the church, etc. Sounds like she made some sacrifices and I am wondering how your relationship is or was? I know what it is like to be in a marriage where emotional abuse was present. Communication is so important and I am wondering what that was like..intimacy..trust..? As the head of the household, do you feel you've honored your vows? Have you loved your wife the way you love yourself and take care of your own body?

The spiritual aspect is very concerning but it sounds like there could be deeper issues here. You mentioned that you both came from broken homes, maybe there is unresolved issues there. I will continue to pray that you and your wife will find peace and follow God's will for your lives.

Even if he hasn't been perfect in so doing, and perfection would be impossible for a human in that and any other aspects. There is still no excuse for what she is doing.

Unless he's leaving something major out, there is just no excuse for her behavior.

Men are not the cause of every single relationship problem despite what the movies and TV may have tried to convince you.

 

[Used and abused]

I agree with you that we are all fallen not even close to perfection. I am not trying to make excuses for her, I am just saying that it sounds like there are pieces of this puzzle that are missing- major or not. In a marriage, it takes two. No, men are not the cause of every single relationship problem, I never said that. I was just trying to see the whole picture here.

 

[Tangible]

I find it interesting how we can continue to discuss how wrong the wife is here and Till brings up the point about the wife... Not that we need to go into bias here but we have not even heard her side. As an older woman, I know what it is like to deal with struggles in marriage but very rarely is it one-sided. Is it right to talk to her ex? Not a chance. Was it right to put her head in a friends lap. No way! My question is, how have you been treating her? You mentioned leaving her family, joining the church, etc. Sounds like she made some sacrifices and I am wondering how your relationship is or was? I know what it is like to be in a marriage where emotional abuse was present. Communication is so important and I am wondering what that was like..intimacy..trust..? As the head of the household, do you feel you've honored your vows? Have you loved your wife the way you love yourself and take care of your own body?

The spiritual aspect is very concerning but it sounds like there could be deeper issues here. You mentioned that you both came from broken homes, maybe there is unresolved issues there. I will continue to pray that you and your wife will find peace and follow God's will for your lives.

We must also all be very careful not to read into his story background and assumptions that may have been present in our own. Just because you experienced something doesn't mean that his wife did.

All we can go on here is what he is telling us. It would be intellectually interesting to hear his wife's point of view, but we are not here to be judges or counselors, just friends.

Even if he hasn't been perfect in so doing, and perfection would be impossible for a human in that and any other aspects. There is still no excuse for what she is doing.

Unless he's leaving something major out, there is just no excuse for her behavior.

Men are not the cause of every single relationship problem despite what the movies and TV may have tried to convince you.

This. Imagine how a steady diet of Lifetime TV would shape your worldview. /shudders

Marriage is mainly about forgiveness and self-sacrifice, not romance and happiness, though these may be products of the former. He seems very willing to forgive and sacrifice for the sake of the marriage. It appears that his wife is not.