Marriage...Finally!

[Living4Him03]

For those of you who are married or engaged, and who knew pretty early on that you were going to marry the person you are with, or that you wanted to marry them, how did you handle waiting?

I'm asking because I really feel and think that my boyfriend is the man I will marry and I've thought so since the day I met him. We've been together almost a year now and I know we've got more time to develop our relationship so that we're ready for marriage, if that is indeed God's will, but it's hard to wait.

I find that I'm so lonely at times. I wish I had him to cuddle up with at night, to talk to during the day, to make love to, and even to have all his quirks around too...lol. I guess I feel like I have to wait awhile to let him know that I want to marry him someday and I have to wait until the time is right for us to marry, but it's so hard to do that!

Any advice on how I can be more patient? I guess it feels like since I didn't get to do the other things many people get to (didn't get a date to prom, didn't get a date period in high school, didn't have guys having crushes on me, never got flowers, never had a serious boyfriend, etc. ) that getting to marry is going to be just another thing I don't get to do, if that makes sense. it seems like everyone around me is getting married and I feel like I"m just going to have to watch this happen for a long time. My friend Biola is 43 and she has never been married. She seems content, but I know she longs for a husband and it makes me sad for her and I keep hoping God doesn't make me wait that long! Do you think God will punish me for being impatient by not letting me get married soon or ever?

 

[JillLars]

My fiance and I knew that we were going to get married, I was just waiting for him to pop the question. I would give him a hard time about it (jokingly), and on the night we got engaged I was grilling him about when he was gonna give me a ring (I can't take surprises). So, when he did give me the ring, it was so funny cause I wasn't expecting it at that moment at all.

Have you talked to your boyfriend about marriage? If you haven't, I think you should. Waiting is a whole lot easier if you know what's going to happen. For example, if you are waiting for an engagement ring, and he has no intention of giving you one, that's probably something you'd want to know ahead of time (or if he has no idea you want one.) It's really important to communicate your thoughts on the subject. Try not to make plans until you know they will be reciprocated. If you do talk to your boyfriend about it, and he doesn't feel the same way, just give it a little more time.

Overall, the best thing to do is just to trust God, he will work things out

 

[bkg]

For those of you who are married or engaged, and who knew pretty early on that you were going to marry the person you are with, or that you wanted to marry them, how did you handle waiting?

We knew right away - we were engaged in 5 months, married 9 months later. Never felt it was hard to wait because we were having sex... Very bad move...

I find that I'm so lonely at times. I wish I had him to cuddle up with at night, to talk to during the day, to make love to, and even to have all his quirks around too...lol.

You are not ready. Lonliness is not a reason to get married, and marriage is not a cure for lonliness. Sounds harsh, I'm sorry. But until you can be content with only God, you will find yourself requiring your spouse to "complete" you in a way. I speak from experience on this, sadly.

Do you think God will punish me for being impatient by not letting me get married soon or ever?

Punish? No. Refine? Yes. If you rush into marriage with your heart not firmly set on God, and with impatience, you will most likely struggle. With divorce rates what they are and the odds literally stacked against you, make sure you do all of the preparation necessary before getting married - and that may mean being complete alone....

Don't rush it - Marriage is the most beautiful thing in the world. It's not a destination... it's a journey. Life does not get better just because you get married...

 

[sarah marie]

I made some bad decisions in my twenties, all born out of loneliness and the fear of being alone. I remember what it was like to look around and see others getting married and beginning thier families. I had an intense fear that it would never happen for me. After spending years that way, God began to show me how to be joyful in my circumstance in the present. Marriage is a blessing, but so is singleness. Children are a blessing, but a family of two (husband and wife) is also. Once you get married, the goal is to never go back to being single (barring the death of a spouse). Once you have children, there is no going back. It will be at least eighteen years before you can send them off to fend for themselves. Don't miss out on the blessings of your circumstance right now, where you are. Ask God to show you this.

 

[desi]

For those of you who are married or engaged, and who knew pretty early on that you were going to marry the person you are with, or that you wanted to marry them, how did you handle waiting?

I'm asking because I really feel and think that my boyfriend is the man I will marry and I've thought so since the day I met him. We've been together almost a year now and I know we've got more time to develop our relationship so that we're ready for marriage, if that is indeed God's will, but it's hard to wait.

Its hard but with God it is bearable. You just have to focus on your life and how you can serve God in whatever capacities you are gifted in.

I find that I'm so lonely at times. I wish I had him to cuddle up with at night, to talk to during the day, to make love to, and even to have all his quirks around too...lol. I guess I feel like I have to wait awhile to let him know that I want to marry him someday and I have to wait until the time is right for us to marry, but it's so hard to do that!

Married people get lonely too, why else would there be affairs. We just have to be comfortable in Christ as his burden is light.

Any advice on how I can be more patient? I guess it feels like since I didn't get to do the other things many people get to (didn't get a date to prom, didn't get a date period in high school, didn't have guys having crushes on me, never got flowers, never had a serious boyfriend, etc. ) that getting to marry is going to be just another thing I don't get to do, if that makes sense. it seems like everyone around me is getting married and I feel like I"m just going to have to watch this happen for a long time. My friend Biola is 43 and she has never been married. She seems content, but I know she longs for a husband and it makes me sad for her and I keep hoping God doesn't make me wait that long! Do you think God will punish me for being impatient by not letting me get married soon or ever?

I had a date to the prom but we never made it. This reminds me of the old story of the guy who prayed for patience and to have his prayer answered QUICKLY! Patience is somewhat of an acquired taste. Just pray for it and try to learn to rest in the lord, if you do you will function more in his time instead of the more impatient route, and you will find yourself blessed more with less stress as you are operating on God's time and not man's.

 

[chpxpx]

Good ol patience!! It's certainly something I need to work on myself, amongst other things. I've been with my girlfriend nearly 18 months. We're both keen to get married, but she lives 5hrs away on a 2yr teaching contract. I know I need this time to work on my relationship with God and my own life!! It's all for the better!!