- Jun 16, 2016
- 340
- 415
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
Hello everyone,
Please pray for my marriage and generational curses that our family has endured.
Before we got married my husband was having an inappropriate or maybe even an online relationship with my former best friend for two years. I knew that they had been talking after he asked if he could talk to her on social media. I didn't realize how often that they had been talking to each other until my husband moved in with .e shortly before we got married. I was struggling mentally at the time and was also going through trauma from a past engagement and from happenings that had occurred between me and his family. While testing him which I shouldn't have he ran from me, lied to his parents about me cheating on him (he suffers from truama from a past relationshipas well that involved cheating), and him and his dad burgerlized my apartment. He soon forced me to go to his parents house and threatened not to marry me if i didn't. He drove me there, his parents berated me, we got into an argument, and my husband-to-be had grabbed my arm and tried to force me to stay in theri house. I broke free and got away safely. During this time I even found out that him and his family had cancled all of our wedding venues.I was told by friends and family not to marry him. I did end up marrying him, since I felt very strongly about God wanting me to. We met shortly after I felt God pouring out from me "wouldn't it be funny God if I met my future husband through a car accident?". Months later, I did meet my now husband through a car accident and I feel like after what has happened that it is a miracle that we had even gotten married at all.
At some point my husband and I did end up talking to my former best friend which was a huge mistake even though it was hard for me to let her go after eight years of friendship. It all turned sour again with them rekindling their online "friendship" again. I tried talking to my former best friend about having basic martial boundaries and she let us know that she absolutely did not want to accept them. We broke our friendship off with her then. When we spoke with our marriage mentors about this they said that what we did was the best move and that what my husband and former friend had done was wrong. They even asked him if the friendship had turned into something that it shouldn't have and after months of lying to me and them about it he finally admitted that it was which was a major breakthrough. They had previously kept telling me that what was happening between the two couldn't be controlled and when I had asked them that if I was doing the same with one of his guy friends what would they have done, they responded by telling me that they would have given me a stern talking to basically which I think that they should have done with him, too, since I don't do double standards!
It has been months since this last issue with my former friend happened and I'm still very hurt by it and the other things that my husband and his family had done to me. I have been felling very resentful, hurt, and vengeful lately, especially after discovering that I think one of our mutual guy friends has a crush on me and I may have one on him, too. He recently asked for my phone number and I gave it to him. I asked my husband if it was OK and he said that he was fine with it. What I feel bad about is how I feel that I need supportive guy and girl friends around me in case our marriage goes south. I also feel like I want or need another guy lined up in case things go south in my marriage especially after the abuse I endured prior to getting married to my husband. Plus, I don't have a supportive family to go to also, since another part to me marrying him was to get away from my abusive family. I feel guilty and ashamed over this and have even tried justifying this. Though, I know that it is revealing that I'm not trusting in God and staying pure in Him like I should. If I want to be friends with my husband's friend who is also my friend's brother then I need to have pure motives and intentions and if I cannot I need to keep my distance. This I know.
I do love my husband, but all of the trauma I have endured with my family and his has made it so difficult during my mental health journey in times where I have needed support the most. I really want to break these family curses in our lives and families and I really need God's help to do so. Those family curses do include adultery, abuse, drug/alcohol use, and mental illness on both sides of our families. We are in desperate need of prayer for our marriage and family. Father God please save us!
Please pray for my marriage and generational curses that our family has endured.
Before we got married my husband was having an inappropriate or maybe even an online relationship with my former best friend for two years. I knew that they had been talking after he asked if he could talk to her on social media. I didn't realize how often that they had been talking to each other until my husband moved in with .e shortly before we got married. I was struggling mentally at the time and was also going through trauma from a past engagement and from happenings that had occurred between me and his family. While testing him which I shouldn't have he ran from me, lied to his parents about me cheating on him (he suffers from truama from a past relationshipas well that involved cheating), and him and his dad burgerlized my apartment. He soon forced me to go to his parents house and threatened not to marry me if i didn't. He drove me there, his parents berated me, we got into an argument, and my husband-to-be had grabbed my arm and tried to force me to stay in theri house. I broke free and got away safely. During this time I even found out that him and his family had cancled all of our wedding venues.I was told by friends and family not to marry him. I did end up marrying him, since I felt very strongly about God wanting me to. We met shortly after I felt God pouring out from me "wouldn't it be funny God if I met my future husband through a car accident?". Months later, I did meet my now husband through a car accident and I feel like after what has happened that it is a miracle that we had even gotten married at all.
At some point my husband and I did end up talking to my former best friend which was a huge mistake even though it was hard for me to let her go after eight years of friendship. It all turned sour again with them rekindling their online "friendship" again. I tried talking to my former best friend about having basic martial boundaries and she let us know that she absolutely did not want to accept them. We broke our friendship off with her then. When we spoke with our marriage mentors about this they said that what we did was the best move and that what my husband and former friend had done was wrong. They even asked him if the friendship had turned into something that it shouldn't have and after months of lying to me and them about it he finally admitted that it was which was a major breakthrough. They had previously kept telling me that what was happening between the two couldn't be controlled and when I had asked them that if I was doing the same with one of his guy friends what would they have done, they responded by telling me that they would have given me a stern talking to basically which I think that they should have done with him, too, since I don't do double standards!
It has been months since this last issue with my former friend happened and I'm still very hurt by it and the other things that my husband and his family had done to me. I have been felling very resentful, hurt, and vengeful lately, especially after discovering that I think one of our mutual guy friends has a crush on me and I may have one on him, too. He recently asked for my phone number and I gave it to him. I asked my husband if it was OK and he said that he was fine with it. What I feel bad about is how I feel that I need supportive guy and girl friends around me in case our marriage goes south. I also feel like I want or need another guy lined up in case things go south in my marriage especially after the abuse I endured prior to getting married to my husband. Plus, I don't have a supportive family to go to also, since another part to me marrying him was to get away from my abusive family. I feel guilty and ashamed over this and have even tried justifying this. Though, I know that it is revealing that I'm not trusting in God and staying pure in Him like I should. If I want to be friends with my husband's friend who is also my friend's brother then I need to have pure motives and intentions and if I cannot I need to keep my distance. This I know.
I do love my husband, but all of the trauma I have endured with my family and his has made it so difficult during my mental health journey in times where I have needed support the most. I really want to break these family curses in our lives and families and I really need God's help to do so. Those family curses do include adultery, abuse, drug/alcohol use, and mental illness on both sides of our families. We are in desperate need of prayer for our marriage and family. Father God please save us!
