Marriage Advice

[Anne Rosith]

Hello, and thank you in advance!

I got pregnant with my son a little under a year of dating this guy. Two days after I gave birth, we got married. Two days before I gave birth, my then boyfriend just turned 18. It was a busy week. (He also graduated high school a few days before)

Anyway, before I got pregnant he was absolutely great. Kind, would do small things like bring me a drink from the gas station, go to church with me, even church camp. Shortly after I got pregnant, even though he acted super excited, things changed. He was rude, stopped going to church, stopped doing anything nice. He wasn’t mean, just broke promises, no more dates, just played games all day.

So anyway, after I had our son (at this point I got moved in with him and his parents because I was in an unsafe home environment) things were still just as bad. He was no help, never changed him, never woke up with him, he was still breaking promises, not spending time with me, staying away from church.

August came around my husband left for college. I stayed, watched our son, worked to pay for everything myself, stayed living with his parents so I COULD, tried to go to church as often as I could, tried to be a good mom.

Anyway, our son is almost two now, husband is just finishing up second year of five year college in a town two and a half hours ago. We never see each other, he’s still breaking promises or just not making them or doing anything, all he wants to talk about is sex (due to past things I’m a little off put by sex but we still have a healthy relationship in that aspect, even though he always hits a home run and I’ve never been past first base, also he’s got a pornography addiction but that’s a whole new topic).

There’s been a lot of fights, a few times where I’ve packed things to leave (his mom bawled and she never cries, I couldn’t do that to her, but he went right back to normal). Anytime we fight, he gets super sweet and then goes back to normal when things are okay.

I’ve talked with my pastor and his wife, and they told me I should leave, as he’s not being the Christian husband he should be (we are unequally yoked, I went into this knowing it would be hard) but every time I look in the Bible, it says stay. I just need advice on how to get through this. I have no idea what to do, I’ve been praying about it constantly for two years. I just don’t want our son growing up thinking this is what love is, that this is how a man acts. I’ve brought up seeing a counselor and he says it wouldn’t do any help. I’m so lost.

Any help is appreciated.

 

[The Great ascension]

Hi Anne Rosith, I am saddened by your experience.
The first thing I wanna ask is how in love are you to your husband? What pastor says was right that you should leave because you are unequally yoked, but at the same time when you read the bible it says stay, and do not leave. But may I asked, What does your heart really say?

 

[Anne Rosith]

Very much. The verses to which I refer read as follows:


“To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:12-16‬ ‭NIV‬‬
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believ | New International Version (NIV) | Download The Bible App Now

 

[The Great ascension]

Thank you for the verses, and yes I got that. What matters most Anne Rosith is your heart. If your heart says stay then stay. The Lord might probably want to save your husband from being dead in faith! through you. So if for example you care for him, or show the attitude of being a Christian then the time comes, he will change and realize that he is wrong, for he sees the good fruit that is in you. But if you fight with him too, and never shows good fruits which have given by the Spirit of God in your heart, then he will never change and just think that you are not different from those gentiles. You know in your heart when is the time to give up, listen to it. But if your heart says "love still, even though you are hurt and tired, and still wanna fight then, stay."
If you are tired and hurt and wanted to give up, think of the Lord on the cross, our sufferings are not yet 1/4 to his bloodshed on the cross. Show love and kindness still even though he is breaking his promises. If you really love him.

 

[Sketcher]

Hello, and thank you in advance!

I got pregnant with my son a little under a year of dating this guy. Two days after I gave birth, we got married. Two days before I gave birth, my then boyfriend just turned 18. It was a busy week. (He also graduated high school a few days before)

Anyway, before I got pregnant he was absolutely great. Kind, would do small things like bring me a drink from the gas station, go to church with me, even church camp. Shortly after I got pregnant, even though he acted super excited, things changed. He was rude, stopped going to church, stopped doing anything nice. He wasn’t mean, just broke promises, no more dates, just played games all day.

So anyway, after I had our son (at this point I got moved in with him and his parents because I was in an unsafe home environment) things were still just as bad. He was no help, never changed him, never woke up with him, he was still breaking promises, not spending time with me, staying away from church.

August came around my husband left for college. I stayed, watched our son, worked to pay for everything myself, stayed living with his parents so I COULD, tried to go to church as often as I could, tried to be a good mom.

Anyway, our son is almost two now, husband is just finishing up second year of five year college in a town two and a half hours ago. We never see each other, he’s still breaking promises or just not making them or doing anything, all he wants to talk about is sex (due to past things I’m a little off put by sex but we still have a healthy relationship in that aspect, even though he always hits a home run and I’ve never been past first base, also he’s got a pornography addiction but that’s a whole new topic).

There’s been a lot of fights, a few times where I’ve packed things to leave (his mom bawled and she never cries, I couldn’t do that to her, but he went right back to normal). Anytime we fight, he gets super sweet and then goes back to normal when things are okay.

I’ve talked with my pastor and his wife, and they told me I should leave, as he’s not being the Christian husband he should be (we are unequally yoked, I went into this knowing it would be hard) but every time I look in the Bible, it says stay. I just need advice on how to get through this. I have no idea what to do, I’ve been praying about it constantly for two years. I just don’t want our son growing up thinking this is what love is, that this is how a man acts. I’ve brought up seeing a counselor and he says it wouldn’t do any help. I’m so lost.

Any help is appreciated.

Don't consider leaving him unless he's putting you or your son in physical danger.

He's a bad example to your son, no argument there. But if you leave him, your son gets no one, and fatherless boys are much more likely to do poorly in school, get involved in crime, and end up worse than your husband is. Now, someone else might come along, for a while - and then leave, or create another situation where you want to leave. That's going to be a worse example to your son. Don't assume that won't happen to you if you choose to leave him.

Basically, your husband needs to change a lot, and you can't force that. He is taking classes, that is a positive sign that he wants to improve himself. As long as he wants to improve himself, he has the potential to be the man he needs to be. But I believe he will need to surrender to Jesus before that is going to happen. Pray for that. It can happen.

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hello, and thank you in advance!

I got pregnant with my son a little under a year of dating this guy. Two days after I gave birth, we got married. Two days before I gave birth, my then boyfriend just turned 18. It was a busy week. (He also graduated high school a few days before)

Anyway, before I got pregnant he was absolutely great. Kind, would do small things like bring me a drink from the gas station, go to church with me, even church camp. Shortly after I got pregnant, even though he acted super excited, things changed. He was rude, stopped going to church, stopped doing anything nice. He wasn’t mean, just broke promises, no more dates, just played games all day.

So anyway, after I had our son (at this point I got moved in with him and his parents because I was in an unsafe home environment) things were still just as bad. He was no help, never changed him, never woke up with him, he was still breaking promises, not spending time with me, staying away from church.

August came around my husband left for college. I stayed, watched our son, worked to pay for everything myself, stayed living with his parents so I COULD, tried to go to church as often as I could, tried to be a good mom.

Anyway, our son is almost two now, husband is just finishing up second year of five year college in a town two and a half hours ago. We never see each other, he’s still breaking promises or just not making them or doing anything, all he wants to talk about is sex (due to past things I’m a little off put by sex but we still have a healthy relationship in that aspect, even though he always hits a home run and I’ve never been past first base, also he’s got a pornography addiction but that’s a whole new topic).

There’s been a lot of fights, a few times where I’ve packed things to leave (his mom bawled and she never cries, I couldn’t do that to her, but he went right back to normal). Anytime we fight, he gets super sweet and then goes back to normal when things are okay.

I’ve talked with my pastor and his wife, and they told me I should leave, as he’s not being the Christian husband he should be (we are unequally yoked, I went into this knowing it would be hard) but every time I look in the Bible, it says stay. I just need advice on how to get through this. I have no idea what to do, I’ve been praying about it constantly for two years. I just don’t want our son growing up thinking this is what love is, that this is how a man acts. I’ve brought up seeing a counselor and he says it wouldn’t do any help. I’m so lost.

Any help is appreciated.

Like the Irishman's directions, I wouldn't start from here...... but it's too late for you. My daughter is in much the same situation as you. She's stuck it out, although she is Christian in name only. Most men are completely useless human beings until they are in their mid 20's at the earliest. Since men have been progressively emasculated by society over the decades, there are few good role models. I'm 68 and my dad was hardly the husband of the year material. Come to think of it, neither was I.

Ask him if he really cares about the relationship. If he does, he needs to know what will make it work. You need to know what makes him tick. Surprise surprise, men and women are different. He needs to know what makes you tick also. I seriously suggest that you and he watch Mark Gungor's seminars on marriage. It is not biased against men, which is rare and, it is really funny, which is rarer still. He has some practical advice for guys that I'm sure you will relate to. "If only he would...." sort of stuff. He also tells women what drives men batty. "If only she wouldn't...." stuff. If both of you are serious, you can make it work. It's not overly spiritual. It works for non-Christian relationships as well.

 

[createdtoworship]

Hello, and thank you in advance!

I got pregnant with my son a little under a year of dating this guy. Two days after I gave birth, we got married. Two days before I gave birth, my then boyfriend just turned 18. It was a busy week. (He also graduated high school a few days before)

Anyway, before I got pregnant he was absolutely great. Kind, would do small things like bring me a drink from the gas station, go to church with me, even church camp. Shortly after I got pregnant, even though he acted super excited, things changed. He was rude, stopped going to church, stopped doing anything nice. He wasn’t mean, just broke promises, no more dates, just played games all day.

So anyway, after I had our son (at this point I got moved in with him and his parents because I was in an unsafe home environment) things were still just as bad. He was no help, never changed him, never woke up with him, he was still breaking promises, not spending time with me, staying away from church.

August came around my husband left for college. I stayed, watched our son, worked to pay for everything myself, stayed living with his parents so I COULD, tried to go to church as often as I could, tried to be a good mom.

Anyway, our son is almost two now, husband is just finishing up second year of five year college in a town two and a half hours ago. We never see each other, he’s still breaking promises or just not making them or doing anything, all he wants to talk about is sex (due to past things I’m a little off put by sex but we still have a healthy relationship in that aspect, even though he always hits a home run and I’ve never been past first base, also he’s got a pornography addiction but that’s a whole new topic).

There’s been a lot of fights, a few times where I’ve packed things to leave (his mom bawled and she never cries, I couldn’t do that to her, but he went right back to normal). Anytime we fight, he gets super sweet and then goes back to normal when things are okay.

I’ve talked with my pastor and his wife, and they told me I should leave, as he’s not being the Christian husband he should be (we are unequally yoked, I went into this knowing it would be hard) but every time I look in the Bible, it says stay. I just need advice on how to get through this. I have no idea what to do, I’ve been praying about it constantly for two years. I just don’t want our son growing up thinking this is what love is, that this is how a man acts. I’ve brought up seeing a counselor and he says it wouldn’t do any help. I’m so lost.

Any help is appreciated.

well I know a church doesn't save us, neither does attendance, but if you can clearly see no love for God in his life, then he probably is not a christian. Pornography can be seen as infidelity to one's spouse. I personally don't take it as such, but some do. Fantasy is a problem for a lot of males, but they can genuinely love their spouses while having fantasy for online women, which is adultery in a way, but not technically speaking. I don't think your situation qualifies for divorce under the new testament. You can for all intents and purposes treat Him as an unbeliever but the new testament says " the believer sanctifies the unbeliever." And because of that divorce is not allowed unless He cheats on you. If He cheats on you, then you are free both to divorce and remarry. If He is christian you can divorce but not remarry. I believe. But here is a cheat sheet on divorce qualifications. But if I was you I would just separate permanently. Move out, live somewhere else. You must stay married to Him but you can separate. If He cheats on you in the process, you can divorce and remarry. But if He stays faithful at this point He will probably want to reconcile. But unfortunately staying in the same home just teaches him that it's ok to play games all day, not pay attention to wife, stay away for weeks. You can also hire a personal investigator to follow him at school and document his relationships, ask to see His phone and text messages, as well as emails. Any indication of cheating allows you to divorce. But again divorce is a last resort. Forgiveness is greater than divorce, but even though we forgive someone we don't need to trust them with our heart. Anyway here is a cheat sheet on what I know about divorce:

1. BELIEVER & BELIEVER:
Divorce is not right. If divorce occurs, reconciliation must be sought (the alternative is to remain in an unmarried state). If the divorcing party does not seek reconciliation, he/she should be brought into the order of church discipline. If there is no repentance, the divorcing party should be ex-communicated as an unbeliever (i.e., treated as a heathen and tax-collector) and so the situation would change to...
2. BELIEVER & UNBELIEVER:
Divorce is not to be sought by the believer (under the new covenant, the grace of God is stronger than under the old; in the Mosaic covenant the foreign wife made her husband unholy - Ezra 10:2,3 - but in the new, the believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving). If the unbeliever desires divorce, it can be granted. And then, the believer is free to remarry.
3. IN THE CASE OF ADULTERY:
If the adulterer repents and falls into the grace of Christ, his/her spouse is not obligated to stay, but is not eligible for remarriage (1 Corinthians 7:11). If the adulterer does not repent, he/she should fall into the hands of church discipline by which he/she will either prove Christian and repent (allowing the victim to divorce sans remarriage) or prove unbelieving, by which listing #2 comes into effect."

Remarriage after Divorce - Study Resources


Here are some more links for more studies on divorce from blue letter bible:

Study Guide for Matthew 19 by David Guzik

Study Guide for 1 Corinthians 7 by David Guzik

 

[Joined2krist]

I think he needs counseling. Don't give up on him yet, try to get some counseling and be prayerful. I pray God changes him for good

 

[createdtoworship]

I think he needs counseling. Don't give up on him yet, try to get some counseling and be prayerful. I pray God changes him for good

sounds like a dead beat. Wanted the physical relation, was willing to go to church for a while, got married to be an honest person, then life caught up with him. Sees women at college, and women on the internet and is simply not interested in wife no more. Not good. But see it for what it is. Yes anyone can reform, but not with her physically there. She is just enabling him. Any christian marriage can go through a separation just for the individuals to get right with the Lord and for there to be repentance. But if she stays it's like saying to him, "well we are christian I am stuck with you for better or for worse, so live up the party, the games, the distant father syndrome, just be a dead beat....and if you get worse, it's ok, I will just love you..." That to me is the worst kind of enabling.

 

[Anne Rosith]

well I know a church doesn't save us, neither does attendance, but if you can clearly see no love for God in his life, then he probably is not a christian. Pornography can be seen as infidelity to one's spouse. I personally don't take it as such, but some do. Fantasy is a problem for a lot of males, but they can genuinely love their spouses while having fantasy for online women, which is adultery in a way, but not technically speaking. I don't think your situation qualifies for divorce under the new testament. You can for all intents and purposes treat Him as an unbeliever but the new testament says " the believer sanctifies the unbeliever." And because of that divorce is not allowed unless He cheats on you. If He cheats on you, then you are free both to divorce and remarry. If He is christian you can divorce but not remarry. I believe. But here is a cheat sheet on divorce qualifications. But if I was you I would just separate permanently. Move out, live somewhere else. You must stay married to Him but you can separate. If He cheats on you in the process, you can divorce and remarry. But if He stays faithful at this point He will probably want to reconcile. But unfortunately staying in the same home just teaches him that it's ok to play games all day, not pay attention to wife, stay away for weeks. You can also hire a personal investigator to follow him at school and document his relationships, ask to see His phone and text messages, as well as emails. Any indication of cheating allows you to divorce. But again divorce is a last resort. Forgiveness is greater than divorce, but even though we forgive someone we don't need to trust them with our heart. Anyway here is a cheat sheet on what I know about divorce:

1. BELIEVER & BELIEVER:
Divorce is not right. If divorce occurs, reconciliation must be sought (the alternative is to remain in an unmarried state). If the divorcing party does not seek reconciliation, he/she should be brought into the order of church discipline. If there is no repentance, the divorcing party should be ex-communicated as an unbeliever (i.e., treated as a heathen and tax-collector) and so the situation would change to...
2. BELIEVER & UNBELIEVER:
Divorce is not to be sought by the believer (under the new covenant, the grace of God is stronger than under the old; in the Mosaic covenant the foreign wife made her husband unholy - Ezra 10:2,3 - but in the new, the believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving). If the unbeliever desires divorce, it can be granted. And then, the believer is free to remarry.
3. IN THE CASE OF ADULTERY:
If the adulterer repents and falls into the grace of Christ, his/her spouse is not obligated to stay, but is not eligible for remarriage (1 Corinthians 7:11). If the adulterer does not repent, he/she should fall into the hands of church discipline by which he/she will either prove Christian and repent (allowing the victim to divorce sans remarriage) or prove unbelieving, by which listing #2 comes into effect."

Remarriage after Divorce - Study Resources


Here are some more links for more studies on divorce from blue letter bible:

Study Guide for Matthew 19 by David Guzik

Study Guide for 1 Corinthians 7 by David Guzik

This kind of really sounds like the advice is “leave him and just wait for him to really mess up.”

 

[Anne Rosith]

sounds like a dead beat. Wanted the physical relation, was willing to go to church for a while, got married to be an honest person, then life caught up with him. Sees women at college, and women on the internet and is simply not interested in wife no more. Not good. But see it for what it is. Yes anyone can reform, but not with her physically there. She is just enabling him. Any christian marriage can go through a separation just for the individuals to get right with the Lord and for there to be repentance. But if she stays it's like saying to him, "well we are christian I am stuck with you for better or for worse, so live up the party, the games, the distant father syndrome, just be a dead beat....and if you get worse, it's ok, I will just love you..." That to me is the worst kind of enabling.

I’ve gone through his phone, we had a really rocky first year, I found him flirting with a couple old friends, yada yada. BUT that was fixed, he apologized even though he didn’t fully see it as flirting, and we worked through it. I haven’t found anything the few times I’ve checked since (no point in a relationship if we don’t have trust). He makes a point to not be in any situation where it can be brought into question wether he’s faithful or not while he’s at school. Also, he does want something to do with me, but it feels more like sex is about feeling good, not us being together, and he wants to be with me because it’s easier than being alone.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Given time it seems that this man (husband) will drift even further away from the marriage.
M-Bob

 

[Anne Rosith]

I’m just conflicted on what to do. Am I not being a very good show of Christ? Will things get better when he’s done with school in three years and we won’t be only together during summer and the major holidays? Should I try again go get him to sit down and talk to someone with me?

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Should I try again go get him to sit down and talk to someone with me?

A Pastor or Elder would be good.
Straight from the Word.
M-Bob

 

[Sketcher]

I’m just conflicted on what to do. Am I not being a very good show of Christ?

I'm sure you're not being perfect, but that is not going to account for everything that you have described. Most of it is that he needs to grow up and take responsibility. You cannot force that, you cannot henpeck him into that. Trying to do so will make it worse.

Will things get better when he’s done with school in three years and we won’t be only together during summer and the major holidays?

Maybe. I can't forecast the direction or health of a relationship in three years. If you both make the right choices, and are patient with each other, then things could get better. It depends on the both of you.

Should I try again go get him to sit down and talk to someone with me?

Maybe. Try breaking breaking this whole thing into manageable chunks. Prioritize where you need his help the most, and also look at what he is most amenable to addressing. Pick the stuff that falls into both categories first, and see how you fare with that. The idea is to not ask everything of him at once, and get some more help where you need it, and have it not be an automatic "third rail" topic that shuts everything down. If you get a favorable response, that's progress that you can build off of.

 

[createdtoworship]

This kind of really sounds like the advice is “leave him and just wait for him to really mess up.”

well you don't have to assume the worst, but realize that if someone is not into you, you are not required to hang out with them, you can separate. But yes, when we sin consistently the church has a doctrine called excommunication. It is very similar to what i am talking about. If say a person is living with their girlfriend at our church youth group, and the pastor finds out, he can ask them to not come back. So they are asked to leave the church, this has happened before in my church. at first it seems mean but then I read passages on it, "deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus." 1 Cor 5:5 If they repent then you can reconcile, if they don't repent you never are required to put your child in a household with a dead beat father that is a bad christian example to the child. You must stay married of course. But in that separation they will be forced to become a better person, or they will submit to the flesh and become worse. But they cannot stay in the same rythm they are in.

 

[createdtoworship]

I’ve gone through his phone, we had a really rocky first year, I found him flirting with a couple old friends, yada yada. BUT that was fixed, he apologized even though he didn’t fully see it as flirting, and we worked through it. I haven’t found anything the few times I’ve checked since (no point in a relationship if we don’t have trust). He makes a point to not be in any situation where it can be brought into question wether he’s faithful or not while he’s at school. Also, he does want something to do with me, but it feels more like sex is about feeling good, not us being together, and he wants to be with me because it’s easier than being alone.

don't do that. If you don't trust him you don't trust him. Don't make excuses that love needs to trust him, it doesn't. He can hurt you and you can forgive but trust is not so easily given it's earned. as far as the sex being shallow, that's the pornography messing with him. Pornography destroys good marital sex that should be about love and gentleness. I am not saying to separate over a porn issue, but more for the sake of the child and a good home to be in. IF you want to you can buy an app called kaspersky parental protection, and it will monitor his phone. 80-90% of porn is done on a phone. You install yourself as a parent and him as a child (I know it sounds silly), but you put him as a 17 year old or 16 year old and it won't let him download adult apps at all without permission, you can fine tune it. It blocks porn as well. I have it on all my childs devices. But if you feel he does love you, just not as much as he love his video game time. Then you have to make a choice, if you desire to stay the same, or change.

 

[createdtoworship]

I’m just conflicted on what to do. Am I not being a very good show of Christ? Will things get better when he’s done with school in three years and we won’t be only together during summer and the major holidays? Should I try again go get him to sit down and talk to someone with me?

well I don't know about you, but a spouse with a porn problem away long times of the year, I would be jealous. I would not put up with it. I would install a porn filter, like kaspersky. And monitor their phone. It's not like you are friends and being over controlling, he is literally cheating on you with online images. So he doesn't feel the need to romance you because he is getting romance elsewhere. Anyway here is a study i posted in another thread that shows that porn over the long term actually reduces the urge for real sex in young people: Human Trafficking; Be part of the solution, not part of the problem

 

[The Great ascension]

I’m just conflicted on what to do. Am I not being a very good show of Christ? Will things get better when he’s done with school in three years and we won’t be only together during summer and the major holidays? Should I try again go get him to sit down and talk to someone with me?

You are just hopeful, learn to trust the Lord.

 

[createdtoworship]

This kind of really sounds like the advice is “leave him and just wait for him to really mess up.”

my niece has a husband that is a drunk and was violent with the kids. She moved out. That is an extreme situation and I am sure many theologians would say that was improper to move out. But she is not divorcing Him, but if He does not repent of drinking and getting drunk, he can be excommunicated and practically speaking the divorce would be between a believer and a non believer at which the believer may remarry (but only if he divorces her). But an alcoholic that is never with his wife, may eventually cheat or remarry, and at that time she is free from her vows to remarry. Right now she is a single mother, raising three kids. But with your situation He is not unfaithful per say with real people. At least not yet. But if He is using porn at school and you are not there, adultery is the very next step. And porn is like a drug. You grow immune to the same old stuff and it gets nastier and nastier. The Bible says "hell and destruction are never full, and neither is the eyes of man." Or something like that. It means that no one ever says...."I have watched all I can of porn, I am full.' no the very next day, they are at it again. Finding new ones, nastier ones. Because the same old high does not work. And it diminishes real sex due to the fact that it is so far removed from real sex by the time they have used it for a while. So I would be very worried that unfaithfulness would be the next step. However if he is not using porn, and waiting to see you. You will notice that passion will return and romance and all that stuff. Because now he is ready for a meal and not snacking in between. Most problems with marital bed issues are resolved as soon as the stimulation is removed. Many older couples can't have sex due to physical issues with older people. But they realize when porn use stops those physical issues resolve in time, but it takes time, maybe years. So for now, focus on the porn issue. You will be suprised what a husband will do for sex. Make Him work for it. Use it as your wages. But again if he is getting stimulation from another source, it doesn't work, you lose your leverage. And so thousands of marriages are having sexless marriages due to the prevalence of pornography. It's sad. But it is an addiction and cannot be fixed over night, he needs accountablity. X3 watch has a software that will email several friends if he browses a site that he should not, I think they have apps not for the phone.