Manners

[Robinsegg]

I think that the problem is too often that the parents weren't taught manners If the parents don't have them, they can't teach the children.

I expect good manners from myself and everyone around me. If children are not polite, I "coach" them on what I expect. I, too, have seen kids bend over backwards to please someone who shows them respect. I've had this work wonders in Sunday School classes. I tell them I will treat them like they're 20 until they act younger. Then I will treat them the way they act, including taking them to the nursery. I've never had to do too much, since the kids *want* to be treated as adults

Rachel

 

[Robinsegg]

I don't try to teach "social norms", as I think they're going down the tubes. Instead, I teach them how to act with courtesy and point out instances (usually on tv, so they're not personal) of how things could be handled better and what's wrong with society and the social norms. Thus, they have an idea of what's normal, how things should be, and what's expected by those who live in our home
Does that help?
Rachel

 

[Redstiletto]

I would say you shoudl call social services if its teh same kids over and over, you never know, maybe they are not getting food at home.

 

[heart of peace]

Robinsegg, so you just incorporate in your daily interactions in your community and while watching a particular television program?

Thanks for responding to my question.

 

[Laurie919]

I would say you shoudl call social services if its teh same kids over and over, you never know, maybe they are not getting food at home.

I would never do that. I know that social services here is a joke and it would be my luck that a good parent would lose a child over the child inviting herself to my house to eat crawfish.

 

[RedTulipMom]

I would say you shoudl call social services if its teh same kids over and over, you never know, maybe they are not getting food at home.

I wouldn't advise calling social services unless you KNEW the child wasn't getting food. People could have their children taken away and thats a huge deal. I would hate to think that if my own child was at someone's house asking for food that someone would go to such an extreme as having social services at my house, what a mess. If the children don't look malnourished most likely they just have bad manners..and i would say theres a 99.9% chance that is the case in the world we live in today..bad manners are pretty much the norm.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

i don't think there's any problem with insisting that they at least speak to you with respect. If they're not being taught manners at home, that is sad. I would just explain to them that if they would like something they need to ask nicely. I would be fine with other adults insisting my children speak to them with respect, in fact, I hope other adults would reinforce what I am teaching at home.

On feeding them, I would probably say (if they asked nicely) that they had better check with their parents first before you give them something to eat - perhaps mom is getting lunch ready at home? At least it might be a nudge to mom to feed her own child!

 

[moonkitty]

Wow, My kids ages 9 an 11 have always had thier friends in and out of my house all the time. And never once have I encountered the sort of rudeness I'm hearing about in here.

 

[Robinsegg]

Robinsegg, so you just incorporate in your daily interactions in your community and while watching a particular television program?

Thanks for responding to my question.

I model good manners before my children in all we do (at least, I try ). They go everywhere with me, since we homeschool.

But, when we're watching a more adult-geared tv show together (usually one we've seen before and is in reruns), I will point out things to my children about what was a "good choice", what was a "bad choice" and what would have been a better choice for the character to make. That way, we're not talking about people it might "get back to", or gossiping in any way . . . but they get to make judgment calls on real-life-type situations
Does that help?
Rachel

 

[Laurie919]

Wow, My kids ages 9 an 11 have always had thier friends in and out of my house all the time. And never once have I encountered the sort of rudeness I'm hearing about in here.

Taylor's friends are different. These are just neighborhood kids that Taylor doesn't even play with.

I have no problem with Taylor's friends asking for things when they are at the house. That is different they are company.