Mania or spiritual awakening?

[Heartfelt123]

Why is it when im manic, i am so religious and feel that i have a deep connection with God? I feel things deeply and can ponder the depths of life and creation. I thought that being a Christian was having a deep personal relationship with the Lord? Sometimes it feels like my heart is on fire and no not heart burn but a spiritual sense and i have feelings of strength and power and i feel like its from the Lord.

Does anyone else feel this way? or is this just my brain playing tricks on me?

 

[madison1101]

I can't really answer your questions. Well, I have had many episodes where I connected with the Lord more deeply. Not sure if I can correlate them to my manic episodes.

The best thing I can suggest is to pray and seek the Lord's wisdom. Also, discuss these episodes, and your thoughts about them, with your therapist.

 

[RuthD]

I have these times too when I am very connected and manic, too. With the ups and downs I believe we can always be connected strongly with focusing on our beliefs as much as we can whether up or down. Just my opinion. It is harder for sure when we are down but then that is what can even us out, too.

 

[schrodingers_cat_lives]

yes, i have often had hyper spiritual feelings during manias. I have met a number of xians with bpd who have as well. There are many degrees to manic episodes and it is also contextual to the individual, but i tend to view mania (in part) as an exaggerated state of what your normal personality already is. For example, I'm an artist and creative naturally, but when i swing into a manic state, I become super duper creative and that side of me becomes extremely enhanced. I normally like humor and joking around, but when manic, i go overboard to the point where my jokes become inappropriate and offensive. My judgement becomes impaired and since my mind is working fast and my sense of humor (in my mind) is "on a roll", i tend to fixate on the importance or genius of the joke and feel compelled to express it no matter what. It's as if my mind's normal ability to edit or control impulses becomes impaired.

It's that euphoria...the high....the feelings of invincibility and over-confidence. My rose colored glasses come on and things that i already am interested in or feel strongly about become a gazillion times more interesting. I might watch a movie when in a balanced state and really like it, but if i watch that same movie while in a manic state, i perceive it as 'WOW! THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD! and feel so impacted by it that i think it was life altering. When "sober" again, i'll see that same movie and think, yea that was a good movie, but wonder why i thought it was so life-changing when i first saw it during that manic state. My senses simply become more heightened and my pre-existing passions become exaggerated.

During one especially euphoric mania, i became so hyper spiritual to the point of delusion....i.e....i "saw" signs from God everywhere in the smallest things....made spiritual connections that weren't really there. Even made poor decisions based on these heightened spiritual perceptions. When i realized this pattern i became very discouraged at first because it seemed that none of it was real, however, i think the objective is to strive for discernment even while it's happening...because even though much of it was manic-induced, it still drew my to seek out God....God still used it to even bless others. When the manias pass, i learned to keep the meat and throw out the bones because even though manic eurphoria was driving my passionate state, i did learn a lot about God, the bible, prayer etc. God can and will use anything, even our ailments and produce diamonds out of coal.

Don't get me wrong, i hate having bipolar disorder, but there have been many blessings that have come out of it.....that is, God did bring good out of the bad as he does with many other bad things that happen to us through out our lives.

 

[quietpraiyze]

Heartfelt123,

It's a resounding YES from me. I know exactly what you're talking about but I don't know how to phrase it. It's almost like something in me has opened up. Ordinarily I can't access this part of me. It's only there when I'm manic before the crash and burn and it's beautiful. I will say this, if I could isolate it and bottle it up I'd be a billionaire!

 

[tomana]

I moved this comment to its own thread {8^D

 

[GarySneakers]

Yes, My mania is religious sometimes. Yes you can see things other can not. Like
Mark 15:38. I saw the Open Temple. So I went in.

 

[Jer]

I struggle a lot with this and my relationship to God. I can often get a period where I am feeling super close to God, and do a lot and "learn" a lot then. But it all comes crashing down after, and then I struggle to beleive that He is good and caring. I also question why He made/ let me be like this. It's horrible, because I just destroy all the good things around me by my swings, and I cannot seem to have a stready relationship with Him either, because of them. So I struggle to see or trust Him to support me too.

It's not always like that. A lot of the time in the mania I will just get distratced by other things and just forget about Him almost.

 

[Live In Stereo]

Heartfelt123,

It's a resounding YES from me. I know exactly what you're talking about but I don't know how to phrase it. It's almost like something in me has opened up. Ordinarily I can't access this part of me. It's only there when I'm manic before the crash and burn and it's beautiful. I will say this, if I could isolate it and bottle it up I'd be a billionaire!

Oh me also. My mania is always total Godward unless it is the irritable type.

 

[Jeshu]

Oh me also. My mania is always total Godward unless it is the irritable type.

Yes I get this as well in my mania God bound but in my lows I can't seem to connect with God any longer - though luckily my faith has grown stronger than my feelings over the years.

 

[Loven God]

I think it is becouse when in mania we have such a good feeling about things and so it carries on over into our relationship with God . We use this time to draw closer to God knowing that this feeling will not last forever .There are many ups and downs with bipolar so when we do have an up it feels so good and we want it to last . I seek God in my down times as well but it is a more of a need help relationship at that time so when maina comes a long I seek a more thankful relationship with God becouse I feel I can thank better and can draw closer and bulid up on that relationnship for when I need to draw on God again in my downs , it gives me the strenght I need .

 

[schrodingers_cat_lives]

I think it is becouse when in mania we have such a good feeling about things and so it carries on over into our relationship with God . We use this time to draw closer to God knowing that this feeling will not last forever .There are many ups and downs with bipolar so when we do have an up it feels so good and we want it to last . I seek God in my down times as well but it is a more of a need help relationship at that time so when maina comes a long I seek a more thankful relationship with God becouse I feel I can thank better and can draw closer and bulid up on that relationnship for when I need to draw on God again in my downs , it gives me the strenght I need .

very tru

 

[schrodingers_cat_lives]

very tru

I think it is becouse when in mania we have such a good feeling about things and so it carries on over into our relationship with God . We use this time to draw closer to God knowing that this feeling will not last forever .There are many ups and downs with bipolar so when we do have an up it feels so good and we want it to last . -----
EXACTLY THAT. Trouble comes when the mania goes in fragmented directions and doesn't stay in that hypo state. If only we could bottle that perfection...we'd be millionaires.

 

[Loven God]

Part of the problem with mania is that it does not stay at a good place , it gets carried away after some time . Example being i was in mania and feeling go then I found my self running red lights and then to smashing my foot with a five pound weight , then to the hospital . Not good . If I could just hang onto the good part of the mainia then I would feel like a millionaire .

 

[Kristophoros]

Why is it when im manic, i am so religious and feel that i have a deep connection with God? I feel things deeply and can ponder the depths of life and creation. I thought that being a Christian was having a deep personal relationship with the Lord? Sometimes it feels like my heart is on fire and no not heart burn but a spiritual sense and i have feelings of strength and power and i feel like its from the Lord.

Does anyone else feel this way? or is this just my brain playing tricks on me?

I have bipolar disorder, type 1, and I've been through the same experiences you describe. Once I was hospitalized for being religiously delusional it occurred to me that what I thought was the Holy Spirit was actually just bipolar psychosis. I'm an atheist these days, and no longer have to go through the hell that is religion.

 

[Loven God]

It is religion that saved my life so I guess everybody has a diffrent out look on what religion can and can't do for their bipolar .

 

[puppii]

I think it is becouse when in mania we have such a good feeling about things and so it carries on over into our relationship with God . We use this time to draw closer to God knowing that this feeling will not last forever .There are many ups and downs with bipolar so when we do have an up it feels so good and we want it to last . I seek God in my down times as well but it is a more of a need help relationship at that time so when maina comes a long I seek a more thankful relationship with God becouse I feel I can thank better and can draw closer and bulid up on that relationnship for when I need to draw on God again in my downs , it gives me the strenght I need .

Good way to look at this!! Thank you!!!

I have bipolar disorder, type 1, and I've been through the same experiences you describe. Once I was hospitalized for being religiously delusional it occurred to me that what I thought was the Holy Spirit was actually just bipolar psychosis. I'm an atheist these days, and no longer have to go through the hell that is religion.

It is religion that saved my life so I guess everybody has a diffrent out look on what religion can and can't do for their bipolar .

I don't do well with religion but God is my savior and my strength

 

[Loven God]

I guess religion was a very poor word to use , religion does not save you God does . He is the one I serve , religion can just get in the way .

 

[puppii]

Yeah I've had some bad experiences with "church people" so I have a hard time trying to get myself to go to church though I know I need to. If I could just find the right one where I "fit in".

I always say I don't do religion but I'm very serious about God. I guess He'll eventually direct me to the right place at least I hope so!!

 

[Loven God]

If you want to find the right fit you need to be looking I think church is very important , we should not let other people give us reasons not to go . It is so imporant that God stress in the bible we need it . The worship and fellowship with others is so awesome and adds to our personal relationship with God .