Hey guys, (M29)
as you probably have read in the title, I'm a former Southern Baptist that started questioning and drifting and found himself, of all places, thinking he was running from God, when in reality God was running to him.
Let me fill you guys in, when I was almost a senior in high school, I was sexually assaulted at a youth retreat. This caused me to spiral spiritually into things like eastern meditation and interest in the occult.
In my late twenties (about 27-present) I have had an interest in the catholic church, not for its physically beautiful buildings but for its spiritually fulfilling disciplines such as Lectio Divina, the Daily Examen, and the Rosary. Specifically through praying the Rosary daily I feel that the Lord Jesus is teaching me what it means to experience him daily. As many times as we reflect upon who Jesus is as God and man through his Mother, Mary, I feel like my perspective is shifting in a positive direction away from gritting my teeth internally and just following after my own thoughts about what the Bible says to really reflecting upon the traditions that have existed for the past 2,000 years.
Faith is not belief alone. I am learning that I desperately need discipline in the form of repetition in prayer, genuine reflection on what the Scriptures teach (not just reading, asking what commentaries say, and trying to apply certain aspects of a passage that may or may not be applicable to me in this modern setting, and yes, I am aware that all Scripture is useful. What did Paul actually mean by that?)
The rosary has become a way for me to express my dependence on God the Trinity.
"Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now and forevermore shall be,
World without end,
Amen."
Do I think that there's a chance that I've been a Christian this whole time and that this is just a deeper step into the Lord's will? Yes.
Do I also think it's possible I have never known Jesus truly before after this? Yes.
The point is brother and sisters, if you're struggling in your faith don't give up. Don't give up even when your Southern Baptist upbringing tells you to. "Seek the Lord while he may be found..." "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart" "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding" To me that's what goes on too often in church, we don't full trust God and we try to rely on our own philosophy, that's why the church has failed as a unit. John 17:22-23 says that unity was Jesus' vision for his church. We are all one, but we aren't all united in truth. Am I wrong? Until we get that right and learn to submit to truth we can't ever change the world for the Kingdom of God. Tell me what you guys think.
Thank you all.
as you probably have read in the title, I'm a former Southern Baptist that started questioning and drifting and found himself, of all places, thinking he was running from God, when in reality God was running to him.
Let me fill you guys in, when I was almost a senior in high school, I was sexually assaulted at a youth retreat. This caused me to spiral spiritually into things like eastern meditation and interest in the occult.
In my late twenties (about 27-present) I have had an interest in the catholic church, not for its physically beautiful buildings but for its spiritually fulfilling disciplines such as Lectio Divina, the Daily Examen, and the Rosary. Specifically through praying the Rosary daily I feel that the Lord Jesus is teaching me what it means to experience him daily. As many times as we reflect upon who Jesus is as God and man through his Mother, Mary, I feel like my perspective is shifting in a positive direction away from gritting my teeth internally and just following after my own thoughts about what the Bible says to really reflecting upon the traditions that have existed for the past 2,000 years.
Faith is not belief alone. I am learning that I desperately need discipline in the form of repetition in prayer, genuine reflection on what the Scriptures teach (not just reading, asking what commentaries say, and trying to apply certain aspects of a passage that may or may not be applicable to me in this modern setting, and yes, I am aware that all Scripture is useful. What did Paul actually mean by that?)
The rosary has become a way for me to express my dependence on God the Trinity.
"Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now and forevermore shall be,
World without end,
Amen."
Do I think that there's a chance that I've been a Christian this whole time and that this is just a deeper step into the Lord's will? Yes.
Do I also think it's possible I have never known Jesus truly before after this? Yes.
The point is brother and sisters, if you're struggling in your faith don't give up. Don't give up even when your Southern Baptist upbringing tells you to. "Seek the Lord while he may be found..." "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart" "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding" To me that's what goes on too often in church, we don't full trust God and we try to rely on our own philosophy, that's why the church has failed as a unit. John 17:22-23 says that unity was Jesus' vision for his church. We are all one, but we aren't all united in truth. Am I wrong? Until we get that right and learn to submit to truth we can't ever change the world for the Kingdom of God. Tell me what you guys think.
Thank you all.
