making plans to seperate

[Wolftrap]

SearcherKris said,

"Sometimes leaving someone is the best thing you can do for them."

SearcherKris just said the most wonderful thing in the world. This is absolutely true. In the right case, it will allow that person to learn to rely on God rather than peers. Tough love. It happened to me, and in hindsight, it was perfect, and it was God's will for me.

 

[joaddi3]

just wanted to post an update...my husband went into the hospital on saturday night for arm and chest pain...he had a bunch of tests done and they let him come home last night...the nurse looked at me and said, "well honey, it's all up to you--he's not going to do it for himself". i have never been so terrified in all my life...if i had any doubts about leaving before that, i have no doubts now...i cant be his mother

 

[eatenbylocusts]

just wanted to post an update...my husband went into the hospital on saturday night for arm and chest pain...he had a bunch of tests done and they let him come home last night...the nurse looked at me and said, "well honey, it's all up to you--he's not going to do it for himself". i have never been so terrified in all my life...if i had any doubts about leaving before that, i have no doubts now...i cant be his mother

Sorry, it was just a matter of time though. Is he scared enough to change yet?

 

[nowhereville]

That's the thing - he has to want to do things for himself. I am very much in the same place. He couldn't figure out where to pay a ticket he got and expected me to do it - I flat out told him - if you weren't married to me what would you do? You would take care of this yourself, so take care of it.

You can not be his mother, though he will want you to and resent it when you don't and he'll resent you for doing it anyway so until he wants to stand on his own feet, you are behind the eight ball so to speak.

 

[joaddi3]

not at all...he takes nothing seriously...

Sorry, it was just a matter of time though. Is he scared enough to change yet?

 

[joaddi3]

That's the thing - he has to want to do things for himself. I am very much in the same place. He couldn't figure out where to pay a ticket he got and expected me to do it - I flat out told him - if you weren't married to me what would you do? You would take care of this yourself, so take care of it.

You can not be his mother, though he will want you to and resent it when you don't and he'll resent you for doing it anyway so until he wants to stand on his own feet, you are behind the eight ball so to speak.

absolutely that's how i feel too...you should have seen the look on the nurse's face when she told me it was "up to me" to take care of him...it screamed "sucks to be you".....i will never forget that look