Making new memories after divorce

[JasonV]

How did you do it? Your favorite restaurants, theaters, vacation spots, etc.

When I think of going to my favorite places, all I see is me with my ex-wife. I want to continue to enjoy those places, without thinking of her everytime I'm there.

Our divorce was finalized last week. Do I just need time to make new memories without her in them?

 

[5kidsdad]

How did you do it? Your favorite restaurants, theaters, vacation spots, etc.

When I think of going to my favorite places, all I see is me with my ex-wife. I want to continue to enjoy those places, without thinking of her everytime I'm there.

Our divorce was finalized last week. Do I just need time to make new memories without her in them?

Jason,

I'm not divorced yet, but have been separated for a while now. I do not go to those places yet. I don't eat out alone. I'm wondering the same thing. In my opinion, it is a healing process that will take time for each person to overcome. I pray that the time will come sometime, meanwhile, I go where I am comfortable. Keep praying and believing Jason. God will help you see this through.

God bless,

5kidsdad

 

[TryingToSmile]

I am not divorced yet but am some what separated - but it is hard to go anywhere without thinking about the places you have been together - I know we all have along road ahead of us - keeping our faith in God will get us through it.

Lorri

 

[iambren]

When I think of going to my favorite places, all I see is me with my ex-wife. I want to continue to enjoy those places, without thinking of her everytime I'm there.

Yes, I would avoid those places for now while you heal over the relationship. Otherwise you will reminisce and bond with her more in your mind. What helps me is to allow myself to feel the pain of seperateness but not refuel it with something familiar. I am in the midst of this now myself. Ya have to be patient and remember that emotional neutrality is a beautiful thing, especially if it's from someone who would not love you for you. Good luck!

 

[eatenbylocusts]

It's been 10 years since I lived with my ex-h, but I don't remember it being a problem probably because we didn't have favorite restaurants or vacation spots. I don't think we did enough stuff out of the house together. Memories with bfs since the divorce have been something to contend with. Time helps alot. Making new memories helps a lot too. For a long time after my first post-divorce break up I kept feeling like I was supposed to be going somewhere and it hurt for a long time when I realized it was because Thursday was pre-marital class night. I'm long over that, but Thursday is now small group night.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

My girfriends made a point of taking me to places I'd been with my husband and making it something new... we went to me and my STBX's fav restaurant and had a "celebration" to celebrate a few things some of us had accomplished and we sat in a different part and laughed so much the whole night... we ended up staying til the restaurant closed and sitting and playing games with the waiter... it was so much fun that now I think about that stuff instead. I also did some things that he wouldn't let me do... like my daughter and I have Pizza Picnic night where we spread a blanket out in the living room and order pizza (he wouldn't let us eat in the living room and didn't like ordering fast food). We have alot of fun...

My advice would be... when you are ready, the opportunity will come up and you will be able to deal with it... if you aren't ready then don't force yourself into places that remind you of her...

Prayers for healing...