john went bk 2 his room & studyied sum more.he was trying his best 2 think about the test what was on it.
"i wonder how long its gonna be....."he was talking 2 himself.john got up 2 g2 the kitchen & lingered in the door way 4 a split sec after remebering an answer 2 his test.he went bk,wrote it down & went bk 2 the kitchen 2 get sumthing 2 eat.
he looked around & found sum chips.he got out a bowl poured sum in2 it put the chips away & went bk 2 his test.
"i hate studying 4 these things."john complained."ah well."
alyssa was still on her bed trying 2 calm down.she new she couldnt die because of what happened last time.she had a flashbk.
John got there.
"NOO!!! ALYSSAAAA!!!" He leaped up there, grabbing her in his arms, then bolted off of the rooftop, almost stumbling upon contact with the pavement. He ran, moving as fast as he could possibly go.
John fought back tears as he raced back to his apartment. Damn, this is my fault. I knew something was wrong, I knew it! I didn't make it in time. I... it's my fault...
He raced back to his apartment, put her on the ground. She still had a pulse. John prayed, laying his hand on her. He continued to pray, mustering up all the strength he had to revive her. As time passed, John kept praying. Until, at last, some of the wounds began to heal.
"Lord, this is in your hands... I... can't do it... I can't..." With those words, John passed out next to her.
alyssa was sitting @ the window staring outside @ the sunsetting horizion."2 more days..."she said 2 herself.all of a sudden john walked in & found her.alyssa payed no attention 2 the opening & closing of the door & blinked once or twice.
"Oh, you're awake. You feeling better?" John spoke up as he entered the door. She didn't move from her spot.
"i already told u...."she relpied."i only have 3 more days."she said holding bk the tears & smiling weakley.
"but why?!"
"i told u...."she said.
"So, you're just going to accept it? You're not even going to try to live?"
"Why should I?"
"...you'd rather throw your life away, when there's so much you can do? To laugh once more? To smile once more? To be happy? To enjoy life? Please, Alyssa, there's got to be something you love in life. Something worth living for. Something worth fighting for. Something you love in life." Alyssa turned her head away. "Why throw away life when there's so much more that you can do? So much fun you can have with your friends! Enjoy life to the fullest! You have things to live for, is it really worth it to die and throw it all away?"
she got up & walked a tad 2wards him,"well.....even if there is,i cant do anything about it!e.b. put sum poision or sumthing in me & in 3 days i WILL die!wether i want 2 then or not!so i have no choice!i cant take it bk anymore!I WILL DIE!theres nuthing i can do about it!"she turned away 2 hide the little tears that fell down her face.she let out a soft sob.
"But, there is a Doctor out there who can." John sat down and started praying, that the curse be lifted off of her, that she'd be restored back to normal, that the hurt she had received mentally, spiritually, emotionally would go away, etc. He stood up.
"Well, you won't be going before your time, let's just say that. I don't believe it's your time to go, and I'm sure God doesn't either. Want something to eat? You have GOT to be hungry after all that." John walked over to the kitchen.
"no...im not hungry."she went 2 the door & walked out slamming it behind her.she ran down the stairs 2 the entrence,she ran home slammed the door,locked it & the windows & layed down on her bed crying heaveyliey."no....NO!why did he have 2 do that?!....WHAY?!I CANT TAKE IT HERE ANYMORE!....i ca-a-ant....."she layed there 4 5 mins & then relized what she had.she ran in2 the bathroom & locked the door behind her & opened the cabinit takeing out a razor.she looked @ it smiling @ it weakly."hi there my little friend...."she said 2 it.
alyssa looked in the mirror @ her pale skinny face & then took all the braclets off her wrist & examined the scars running over them w/ her fingers.she then took the razor & made sum more gashes in2 her wrist.her vision went blury 4 a moment & she sat on the toilet lid & looked @ wrist again crying heaviley.
"ill miss u my friends,itll be better w/out me though....i promise...."
she got up & sat against the wall.she then took the razor & cut real deep 1 last time in2 her wrist making her slip in2 death as she drew her 1 last & final breath.
she then came out of that flashbk & headed right in2 another 1.
John knocked. "Alyssa? Are you there?" No reply.
"We gotta get her out of there." John slammed the door down. Inside was a blood pool on the ground, and Alyssa, sitting there, pale. John stood there, paralyzed in fear and sadness. Ryou did the same. After a few seconds, John, holding back tears, picked her up. "We gotta get out of here. Can you drive, Ryou? She needs to get to the hospital, she's lost too much blood." Ryou nodded. "Okay then, let's go."
"has he come w/ an answer yet?"john asked running where ryou was sitting."no."he replied bk."not yet."he sat down waitting 4 him 2 come out.3 hours passed & john was standing up paseing bk & forth waitting 4 the doctor 2 come out."w.....what if she doesnt
wake up....what if she really IS dead?"ryou asked."i dont no what i would then....dont talk like that....please."john replied.he stoped 2 answer & started passing again.5 minitues later the doctor came out of the bk room where alyssa was @.
John stood up. "Thanks, sir." He turned around, and walked out. Ryou caught up with him.
"Are you okay? Don't you want to see how she's doing?"
"No, Ryou, I don't. Not that I don't care, I just don't want to see what I did to her."
"...you sure you're alright? Blaming yourself for things out of your control isn't usually your style."
"It was in my control, Ryou. I let this happen. I let her make her own decision, and she almost died for it."
"..." Ryou turned around and went back to the hospital. "If you need me, give me a call. Bye, John."
"See ya, Ryou."
John walked back to his apartment. He sat down on the couch, trying to soak in everything that had happened. He knew he should have been happy, but if anything he was sad.
it fastforwarded 2 anothe flashbk.
ryou ran in2 the hospital room where alyssa was @.ryou looked @ her pale face & skinny body from blood loss.
"shell be unconcious 4 @ least a few hours..."the doctor said leaving the room.
"ok."ryou said.he ran his fingers through her hair & gave her a gently hug making sure not 2 hurt her.he looked around the room,got up,& looked out the window.
4 hours & 46 minutes passed & alyssa woke up.ryou walked over 2 her.
"uh........"alyssa said opening her eyes."w-where am i?"she asked looking around.
"r u ok?"ryou asked."y-yeah im fine.where am i?"she asked & again."yur @ the hospital.we found u yesterday on the ground on yur bathroom floor.we then figured out u comited suicide.we got u here in enough time 4 u 2 be saved even though u were already dead 4 2 days."he replied."whose we?"she asked."john & i."ryou said.
"oh..ok.t-thanx ryou.i love u so much."she said weakley still trying 2 wake up.ryou called johns cell.
"hello?"john asked."hey!alyssas awake!u wanna come see here?"he asked."i...i dunno."he said.
"please?she wants 2 see u."he told him.
"i wanna talk 2 him."she said."ok.sum1 wants 2 talk 2 u...hold on."ryou said.
"no ryou!please do..."he started.
"hi."a weak voice said on the other line.
"hi alyssa."he said."im so sry this happened 2 yo.."john started again.
"its ok.....it aint yur fualt.& thank u....so much.i love u.thank 4 savin me."alyssa said.
"ah......yur welcome."he said w/ a weak happy smile.
"h-heres ryou again."she said 2 him.
"ok."he said bk.
"i told u she was awake!"ryou said laughing.
"heh.i no it now."john said."im gonna let u go.ok?"he asked"
"ok.ill ttyl.bye."he said.
"bye."he said.
they both hung up.john sat bk on the couch laying bk thinking.ryou went bk 2 alyssas side comforting her & saying what happened.
"whats been going on w/ u ryou?"alyssa asked him trying 2 make converstion.
"nuthin much."ryou said."weve been in here 4 almost 2 days now waiting 4 the doctor 2 come out & tell us if youd live."ryou said.
"oh....im sry 4 what i did.w-will u 4give me?"she asked.
"yeah.ill definitly 4give u."he said.a smile appeaerd on her face.
"thanx."
"no problem."he replied."johns been worried about u the most.he didnt stay cause he thought he did this 2 u & he didnt wanna see what he did 2 u."ryou said.
"but he didnt do this 2 me @ all.i did."alyssa commented.
"he thinks he did cause he wasnt there 2 stop u from what u did that night.he didnt stay here 4 that reason.he called u his sister.didnt want u 2 go.he prayed so many times waiting 4 u 2 wake up.he was pacing bk & forth 4 about 3 or 4 hours waiting 4 the doctor 2 come out w/ the answer.he didnt leave untill then."he said.
"oh.....thats...oh my goodness.wow.what time is it?"she asked.
"its 11:49 p.m."ryou said.
"oh.ok."she said looking out the window @ the pouring rain."i hope hes ok......i really do...."
John stopped by the door where Alyssa was in. "Hey, you doing any better?"
Alyssa smiled. "Yeah, I am." She turned to Ryou. "Could you give us a minute?"
Ryou nodded. "Sure, I understand." He walked outside of the door, and closed it.
John sat down. "Alyssa, I-"
"John, this isn't your fault. I don't know what I was thinking, but it was me. This isn't your fault at all. I did this out of my own free will. Don't blame yourself for my actions."
"I know... it's just, I knew something was wrong, and I didn't do anything about it. You almost died..." John closed his eyes. "If you died, I don't know what I would have done. You're a great friend, I wouldn't be able to bear it... and to think I wasn't there to help when you needed it..."
"its ok....you would have had all my close friends 4 comfort & stuff.2 trun 2 & all that stuff....its ok....it aint yur fualt....not yur fault that u didnt stop me...not yur fualt that i did what i did...it aint yur fualt that u didnt follow me when i went home.........its not."she gave him a weak smile.
"i no....but still....i would still have that 1 spot in my heart that has guilt where u used 2 be.where u used 2 live on."he explained.
"& i still would have...in spirit & in yur soul & heart."she said smiling.
"i no...yur right but id be really sad...i dont no what i would have done..."john said 2 her.
"its ok....i promise u that...."she said.
"ok."he said getting up.he gave her a hug & kissed her on her forehead.he then went 2 the door & said that ryou could come in.ryouwalked in & sat on the other side of alyssa.john sat on the other.
"i have an idea!"ryou said."ill stay here....watch her monday,wensday,& friday.& u can watch/stay w/ her tuesday,thursady,saturday & sunday."ryou said smiling.
"thats fine w/ me."john agreed.
"@least till she gets better that is."ryou told him.
"yes.@ least."he smiled.
alyssa yawned & satrted 2 fall asleep.john glanced over & saw her fall asleep.
her flashbks ended & she was crying.
i cant do that 2 them again.theyd be heartbroken.id be heartbroken.that day...john....he was so sad.he was worried.so was ryou & when i had 2go in2 that hospital because of my stupidness john blamed himself over what he couldnt control.but,as long as i dont die,i can still cut!
she up & ran in2 the bathroom.
"woah...."she said 2 herself.she hadnt been in there since her accident.she found the razor on the ground w/ the dried blood & picked it up.she tore off her braclets & slit her wrists 5 times & then stoped.she cleaned it off & put it bk in the cabnit.
she then cleaned up the whole bathroom.it looked like it hadnt even been touched.she then went bk & layed on her bed.
i wonder what johns doing....probley studing 4 the test hes got comin up.ah well.
@ that she drifted off 2 sleep.
