Kelly, there is nothing wrong with coming to Christ because we are afraid of consequences. Many come that way. It simply means you are a Christian with plenty of room for sanctification and maturation just like the rest of us.
Take a look at the prodigal son. He didnt go back home because he was filled with love of the father - he went back because he was broke and hungry. Using the natural moral grid as his sole reference point, he knew he had completely blown his sonship. He only wanted a job so he could eat. But instead of subsistence he found a feast. And instead of servility he regained his sonship, and on a more intimate level.
Your descriptions above sound to me a lot like that prodigal. You admit your sin, your unworthiness and your need. But the difference between you and the prodigal is that he humbled himself and went back; you think you can't. The paradigm you are laboring under is actually worse than Old Testament law, under which there was at least a surrogate provision for the forgiveness of sin.
1 John makes it clear that we love because He first loved us. As long as you keep focusing only on your unworthiness, you will miss the grace of God. Instead of condemning yourself for lack of love, you need to humble yourself and accept God's love for you, as you are, with all your failings. As you do so your soul will take in the breath and life of God, and you will become capable of loving God. His perfect love will cast out the fear that initially drove you to Him.
You need to toss the theology of man that has you in its grip. Its sounds godly, but it's dead religion that actually is working directly counter to the will of God. It is the religious spirit in a very murderous manifestation, and you are the victim.
Continue your reading in Hebrews, and come to chapter 11, the faith chapter:
And without faith it is impossible to please: for he approaching to God must believe that he is, and is a remunerator to them seeking him out. -Heb 11:6
Instead of continually judging yourself as unworthy,
and stopping there, press forward into mercy and grace. We all are unworthy. That doesnt stop God from saving us and blessing us. But if we dont press in, we miss the blessing. Satan knows this, and his goal is to make us fall short of the grace that changes everything. As long as you say that there is nothing you can do, you are in his trap, cooperating with him in your own demise. All things are possible to them that believe.
Like the father of the prodigal, God is willing to meet you halfway, if you will seek the blessing: Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief.