I have been in a false gospel Mormon church my whole life and recently left. Many of you know my story. I have been able to sleep without any medications now for about four weeks, five weeks before that I tossed and turned with fear of Hell. I recently left the church after realizing it was false. The reason I feel doomed is because even though I was in a false gospel, I lived a life of continual willful sin. Yesterday I went back to the Hebrews verses in chapter 6 and 10. My counselor said not to try and understand them now, but to let them go. I couldn't because those are the verses that have been giving me condemning thoughts, I felt I had to look at them closer. Now I have thrown myself back into a deep despair where I can not sleep. God does not hear my prayers. I know many of you are praying for me and are probably getting very annoyed with me, but I beg you if you would please please cry out to God for me. If I continue in this deep depression my wife going to leave me and I will lose my family. My daughter is two, look at her picture on my profile.
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We are not annoyed with you. Ask for prayer anytime that is what the Prayer section is for! Lifting you up right now.
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I am not annoyed by your post either kelly, you are in my prayers.
Romans 8:1
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Not only are we free from all of our sins because of Jesus, but there is no condemnation either.
All condemnation is from the devil.
And also remember that Satan too uses scriptures to back up his evil claims.
Remember when Jesus went into the wilderness to be tempted,
Satan quoted scripture to Jesus.
Matthew 4:5-7
5 Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him up on the pinnacle of the temple.
6 And (Satan) said to Him "If you are the son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written: 'He shall give His angels charge over you,' and, 'In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.'"
7 And Jesus said to him "it is written again, 'You shall not tempt the Lord your God'"
Notice that Jesus denies what Satan said and quotes another scripture which contradicts it too.
Thats what you need to do. When this condemnation comes to you, like Jesus you need to rebuke it and remember Romans 8:1:
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
I will be praying for you and your family.
Romans 8:1
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Not only are we free from all of our sins because of Jesus, but there is no condemnation either.
All condemnation is from the devil.
And also remember that Satan too uses scriptures to back up his evil claims.
Remember when Jesus went into the wilderness to be tempted,
Satan quoted scripture to Jesus.
Matthew 4:5-7
5 Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him up on the pinnacle of the temple.
6 And (Satan) said to Him "If you are the son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written: 'He shall give His angels charge over you,' and, 'In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.'"
7 And Jesus said to him "it is written again, 'You shall not tempt the Lord your God'"
Notice that Jesus denies what Satan said and quotes another scripture which contradicts it too.
Thats what you need to do. When this condemnation comes to you, like Jesus you need to rebuke it and remember Romans 8:1:
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
I will be praying for you and your family.
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no, never annoyed. never. i can understand why your concelor told you not to. he doesnt want you to bring yourself down with condemning thoughts. god does hear you pray kelly. hes hearing all our prayers. i am continuing to pray for you kelly. hang in there. i know you love your baby girl and wife. wish there was a way for you not to feel so condemned. hugs.
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Kelly 441, take a break from 'religion'. You are driving yourself crazy over it. Just focus on what God has already blessed you with, your wife and adorable little girl. You are responsible for their welfare, and your little girl needs her Daddy to be there for her. Do you think God would have you despondent over scripture while your family needs you? If you take care of them and love them you will be pleasing God and you will find your depression lifting. This is how God wants you to live!
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Kelly, you are responsible to God for the welfare of your family, incldg.
child. Do this prayer 
fully & joy 
fully, & God's 
peace/rest will come...
thats beautiful lindart and annie. i agree kelly. rest in Him and dont worry so much. enjoy your family and give the rest to god. hugs.
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My family is the only reason I wake up some mornings. I am fighting through this because I don't want to lose them.
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I talked to the EX-Mormon tonight and he helped me through those scriptures and explained they couldn't apply to me because I was following a false Jesus, the Jesus of Mormonism which saves through faith plus the church system. I thought I had worked out all the doctrine I had engrained in me, but more and more things keep showing up. Goigm to bed soon, please pray I will sleep peacefully.
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praying you will get back on track with your sleeping. may you have a restful night. good night kelly.
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- Mar 22, 2011
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Kelly, I'm not annoyed either. Keep pressing forward, and you will break through.
Hebrews 6 is called the devil's favorite scripture, because it's so easily misconstrued, to such a disastrous effect. I wrote a piece about it a while back. I'm not sure whether it will help, but if you care to read it, it's here: Hebrews 6: Restoration for fallen Christians « Following Christ
Grace and peace,
p.
Hebrews 6 is called the devil's favorite scripture, because it's so easily misconstrued, to such a disastrous effect. I wrote a piece about it a while back. I'm not sure whether it will help, but if you care to read it, it's here: Hebrews 6: Restoration for fallen Christians « Following Christ
Grace and peace,
p.
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I read it. I was a reprobate unrepentant willfull sinner for ten years. where is my hope. My repentance is that of fear of going to Hell, not Godly sorrow.
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i dont think you will find not a single one of us who hasnt willfully sinned at one time or another. we are stubborn, we human beings. god has already forgiven you. you are your worst enemy. you are being to hard on yourself. please forgive yourself. hugs.
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My sin was great in many areas. Lying, stealing, sexual sin, lustful thoughts, love of money. Money was my idol. Hateful heart against others. I was a reprobate sinner. I was a hypocrite Christian who actual believed I had a chance at salvation. This is evedince to me that I was never saved. A saved person produces fruit, they don't go on sinning.I know Christians willfully sin. My was willful continual true unrepentant sin in numerous areas. From my reading of scriptures I have no hope for salvation. I confessed him over and over again, and the last time believing I was saved. Man doesn't come to God whenever he wants to, he has to be drawn by the Father and he has to be filled with the Holy Spirit to be saved. I thought I was saved a few weeks ago but the Holy Spirit is not there. I can not save myself, I have nothing I can give to God to make him save me. He calls us, he pricks our heart with Godly sorrow and repentance, it's not something we can manufacture ourselves. I don't want to give up, but there is nothing I can do.
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it doesnt matter kelly. the past is the past. god doesnt keep a record of your past sins and not all christians show fruit. some are so hurt in spirit that they fall away from their faith for awhile but god never lets them go and hes holding you in the palm of his hand kelly and he will never let go of you.
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Kelly, there is nothing wrong with coming to Christ because we are afraid of consequences. Many come that way. It simply means you are a Christian with plenty of room for sanctification and maturation just like the rest of us.
Take a look at the prodigal son. He didnt go back home because he was filled with love of the father - he went back because he was broke and hungry. Using the natural moral grid as his sole reference point, he knew he had completely blown his sonship. He only wanted a job so he could eat. But instead of subsistence he found a feast. And instead of servility he regained his sonship, and on a more intimate level.
Your descriptions above sound to me a lot like that prodigal. You admit your sin, your unworthiness and your need. But the difference between you and the prodigal is that he humbled himself and went back; you think you can't. The paradigm you are laboring under is actually worse than Old Testament law, under which there was at least a surrogate provision for the forgiveness of sin.
1 John makes it clear that we love because He first loved us. As long as you keep focusing only on your unworthiness, you will miss the grace of God. Instead of condemning yourself for lack of love, you need to humble yourself and accept God's love for you, as you are, with all your failings. As you do so your soul will take in the breath and life of God, and you will become capable of loving God. His perfect love will cast out the fear that initially drove you to Him.
You need to toss the theology of man that has you in its grip. Its sounds godly, but it's dead religion that actually is working directly counter to the will of God. It is the religious spirit in a very murderous manifestation, and you are the victim.
Continue your reading in Hebrews, and come to chapter 11, the faith chapter:
Like the father of the prodigal, God is willing to meet you halfway, if you will seek the blessing: Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief.
Take a look at the prodigal son. He didnt go back home because he was filled with love of the father - he went back because he was broke and hungry. Using the natural moral grid as his sole reference point, he knew he had completely blown his sonship. He only wanted a job so he could eat. But instead of subsistence he found a feast. And instead of servility he regained his sonship, and on a more intimate level.
Your descriptions above sound to me a lot like that prodigal. You admit your sin, your unworthiness and your need. But the difference between you and the prodigal is that he humbled himself and went back; you think you can't. The paradigm you are laboring under is actually worse than Old Testament law, under which there was at least a surrogate provision for the forgiveness of sin.
1 John makes it clear that we love because He first loved us. As long as you keep focusing only on your unworthiness, you will miss the grace of God. Instead of condemning yourself for lack of love, you need to humble yourself and accept God's love for you, as you are, with all your failings. As you do so your soul will take in the breath and life of God, and you will become capable of loving God. His perfect love will cast out the fear that initially drove you to Him.
You need to toss the theology of man that has you in its grip. Its sounds godly, but it's dead religion that actually is working directly counter to the will of God. It is the religious spirit in a very murderous manifestation, and you are the victim.
Continue your reading in Hebrews, and come to chapter 11, the faith chapter:
And without faith it is impossible to please: for he approaching to God must believe that he is, and is a remunerator to them seeking him out. -Heb 11:6
Instead of continually judging yourself as unworthy, and stopping there, press forward into mercy and grace. We all are unworthy. That doesnt stop God from saving us and blessing us. But if we dont press in, we miss the blessing. Satan knows this, and his goal is to make us fall short of the grace that changes everything. As long as you say that there is nothing you can do, you are in his trap, cooperating with him in your own demise. All things are possible to them that believe.
Like the father of the prodigal, God is willing to meet you halfway, if you will seek the blessing: Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief.
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Thanks Paul, you brought up some good points. I talked to a few people yesterday that are struggling with their assurance of salvation, and I have come to the conclusion that I can only do so much. God will have to meet me half way. I am putting too much pressure on my self for things to change the way I feel they should change. I need to pray that God will change my heart to love him the way he wants me too, and love others. Then I can only do the best that I can, pray for forgiveness where I fall short and do this daily. But, if I am truly saved, I would expect to see growth and changes and fruits of the Holy Spirit. People tell me this is a process, but it appears in the New Testament that a person goes through a dramatic change when they are saved, this is why I don't feel like I'm saved. where is the new man and the dramatic change? Regardless if I'm saved or not, i know I need to press on and live life, but it's difficult to do that when you have this fear of being cast into the lake of fire when you die hanging over your head.
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