Lutheran Jokes

[DaRev]

...Who donated the switch???

Uncle Fred, who also touched the wall while he installed the switch. which is why we can never ever paint the walls.

Oy vey!

 

[MarkRohfrietsch]

Uncle Fred, who also touched the wall while he installed the switch. which is why we can never ever paint the walls.

Oy vey!

In committee, who donated the paint would also have to be discussed at length... providing that person was still a member in good standing!

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

And my great-grandmother once flipped the switch to turn it on. It can now never be changed!!!

or turned off

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

Now no one donated the light, so we can replace that, but we have to use the same burnt out bulb which Rev's great aunt somebody donated.

 

[MarkRohfrietsch]

Now no one donated the light, so we can replace that, but we have to use the same burnt out bulb which Rev's great aunt somebody donated.

Committee would also explore the posibility of having the bulb rebuilt; in the event that it could not, it may be desirable to put a plaque on it, and store it in the archives for future generations.

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

Committee would also explore the posibility of having the bulb rebuilt; in the event that it could not, it may be desirable to put a plaque on it, and store it in the archives for future generations.

Someone could always install a new light right next to it, and then we could put a new bulb in that.

 

[AngelusSax]

Someone could always install a new light right next to it, and then we could put a new bulb in that.

Not without council's approval, and it won't be discussed until the next meeting, in a month. So enjoy the dark till then!

 

[RadMan]

People don't realize how true this is. We had an organ donated in ther 60s to the church. It has since gone flat, wheeze and pedals went out but everyone has been afraid to sugest getting rid of it since the donars have several generations at the church an donate very well.

Funny thing is, I got tired of it and went to the original donors and when I told them the reason nobody came to them before to ask them if they could get rid of it. they just looked at me and said "We're so tired of that organ we wish they would have gotten rid of it years ago. I said that everyone thought that since they had donated it that they would be offended if the congregation tried to get rid of it. They said nonsense and it was gone in a month.




.

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

People don't realize how true this is. We had an organ donated in ther 60s to the church. It has since gone flat, wheeze and pedals went out but everyone has been afraid to sugest getting rid of it since the donars have several generations at the church an donate very well.

Funny thing is, I got tired of it and went to the original donors and when I told them the reason nobody came to them before to ask them if they could get rid of it. they just looked at me and said "We're so tired of that organ we wish they would have gotten rid of it years ago. I said that everyone thought that since they had donated it that they would be offended if the congregation tried to get rid of it. They said nonsense and it was gone in a month.

.

On a serious note to an inserious thread, I think part of that is we have this notion that memorial or donation = ownership. If someone paid for this or that item they "own" it still and thus we might offend if we get rid of it. We need to be more of the mind of it as a gift to the church for the betterment of the church. They donated it for the church's well-being, which means if it no longer is the best thing or a usable item for the church, it is time for a new well-being.
As to if a donor was really truly upset about their "gift" being replaced, renovated, or re/moved. I think there are two good ways of addressing this: 1) you have a way of formally recognizing the past gift. An example is this: at my alma mater, when they opened a new library, they named the collection of books coming from the old library after the donors of the former library. Thus you can still in the new find ways to celebrate that which was generously given before.
2) The other is to encourage the family to be donors to the new piece. If it meant a lot to donate the old organ 50 years ago, be major donors in the new organ.
3) and for some you have to be blunt that this is the church, not "their" property, and if they feel offended about the change explain that the move is meant for the good of the church, and if they threaten to not donate anymore because they feel their gift is "not acknowledged" properly, ask them how it could be with this new change, or tell them not to donate. I don't like this way because I hate to stifle member's generosity, but I also do not think the powerful givers should dictate the life of the church simply because they give more. I value their input and am thankful for their ability to do what I and others cannot, but that gift cannot be above the congregation's and the neighbor's best interest.

Ok, rant on Lutherans and change over. back to jokes.

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

true story:
back when I was in high school, I was acolyting on Christmas Eve, and as usual there was a Christmas pageant. Now the young boy who was playing Joseph in the pageant had not been feeling well that day. And in the middle of the pageant, while up front with "Mary" and the little baby Jesus at about the time in the reading when it was announced that Jesus was born he gets really sick and just throws up all over the chancel. Embarrassed and ill he jumps up and bolts out of the church.
I lean over to the other acolyte, unable to resist myself and whispered in her ear, "he must have realized it wasn't his kid"

 

[AngelusSax]

true story:
back when I was in high school, I was acolyting on Christmas Eve, and as usual there was a Christmas pageant. Now the young boy who was playing Joseph in the pageant had not been feeling well that day. And in the middle of the pageant, while up front with "Mary" and the little baby Jesus at about the time in the reading when it was announced that Jesus was born he gets really sick and just throws up all over the chancel. Embarrassed and ill he jumps up and bolts out of the church.
I lean over to the other acolyte, unable to resist myself and whispered in her ear, "he must have realized it wasn't his kid"

ROFLOL!!!

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

How many Germans does it take to make a Lutheran?

1, so long as he is stubborn.

How many Swedes does it take to make a Lutheran?

3, that many put together should believe most of the BoC.

How many Norwegians does it take to make a Lutheran?

6, because a Norwegian is half the man a Swede is.

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

You might be a Lutheran if you expect the pastor to visit you in the hospital even if you never informed the church that you were admitted.

 

[DaRev]

You might be a Lutheran if you expect the pastor to visit you in the hospital even if you never informed the church that you were admitted.

This is no lie! Some folks expect us to be mind readers.

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

You might be a Lutheran if the most meaningful times of church are the Children's Sermon and Coffee Hour

 

[Omceer]

You might be a Lutheran if the most meaningful times of church are the Children's Sermon and Coffee Hour

Why yes, this is very true

 

[seajoy]

You might be a Lutheran if the most meaningful times of church are the Children's Sermon and Coffee Hour

That's not so funny, really.

 

[AngelusSax]

You might be a Lutheran if you wish Jesus had used coffee instead of wine at the Last Supper.

 

[QuiltAngel]

You might be a Lutheran if when someone says something that is true or you agree with you reply by saying, this is most certainly true.

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

You might be a Lutheran if you dress up as your favorite reformer for Halloween (since it really is Reformation Day after all).