Lust vs Love ?

[m.a.r.X]

How do lust and love behave in a marriage, I mean is there should be balance between the two ?
And how it can be managed ?

I'm asking this coz I just got over a very dangerous 'relationship' which could have wrecked two families, all thanks to an overdose of lust. For me, its like drinking beer, I can never have enough of it, always want more and more !

And now, as I'm thinking about entering a 'meaningful' relationship with a girl (who I *feel* my future wife ), I'm a bit nervous !

PS: Sorry about my bad English !

 

[belovedharlot]

deleted

 

[Johnnz]

Romance and sexual arousal commonly are associated, as God intended. Thus, it takes some clear thinking and sensible boundaries within which a relationship can be properly conducted to keep each in its right place.

John
NZ

 

[m.a.r.X]

lust may be defined as the desire to please oneself through the use of sex.

Thats my problem...sort of

We used to be very open and friendly to each other but as the friendship grew,
I got easily aroused (sexually) when I'm with her. Even the sight of her feet was enough to turn me on !

Now, even her voice turns me on, so I'm actively avoiding her !
Its very difficult but lots of people @CF are praying for me, it gives me great strength

if it can be likened to consuming beer (your analogy), do you love your partner if you just want to drink more and more as it pleases you? in a loving marriage, she would not be the beer whom you consume gluttonously (again, your analogy...never enough, more and more), but rather, she'd be the one you're sharing a beer with.

Its just that I never gets tired of it, the more I have it, the more hungry I become :o
Thats why I likened it to drinking beer (I had a beer addiction btw , not anymore though, haven't touched it....two years and counting )

Right now, my fear is that it may repeat with my wife or 'gf' after the marriage (or even before it).

if you think you may have a sexual addiction, now is the time to identify it if you're in love with your girlfriend/future wife.

No, I'm not in love with her but we are...you know...sort of like like each other

 

[belovedharlot]

deleted

 

[m.a.r.X]

Romance and sexual arousal commonly are associated, as God intended. Thus, it takes some clear thinking and sensible boundaries within which a relationship can be properly conducted to keep each in its right place.

John
NZ

The problem is that my brain gets shut down when I see her and I act out on...impulse !!
BTW, ts over now and I'm getting more and more free of the thoughts of her . So, the past is gone...forever and its the future that I'm worried about.

I fear that I may get addicted to (the sexual side of) her (I mean my future wife) !
And when I say addicted, I really mean it !

i think it is normal to experience sexual arousal by the sight and sound of a romantic interest. i also think it's a good idea to express this in ways as the poets and artists have or to do something romantic and make her realize how special she is to you in these sorts of ways, ie flowers.

I wish I was more clear in explaining it
The past is gone...I no longer care about it now ! Its over !
Right now, there is this girl who have crush on me and I like her too (she's a bit dark but she's beautiful). Now that I'm graduated and possibly getting a (real) job, I'm thinking about getting serious about it !

The problem with me is that I'm kind of an 'action' man I don't say much, I prefer to 'do' something instead !
For example, I would rather give her a passionate kiss rather than saying "I Love You" lol !

i also think that when you're married to someone and you consummate the sexual union, there will naturally be a satisfaction

Sure, for ten minutes
After that, I crave for one more..and more and...more !

if you think you have a sexual addiction, now is the time to deal with it.

How much is too much ?
I heard that some girls are ok with it ?
Should I ask her

BTW, is the treatment involves medicines ?
Any side-effects ?

 

[Johnnz]

You may find that after a while married you may well discover you are not quite so consumed sexually as you are as a single person. It also seems you need some good information about relationships and caring. Good sex that lasts over the long term requires much more than a 'wham bam' release. So do good long term relationships.

John
NZ

 

[m.a.r.X]

You may find that after a while married you may well discover you are not quite so consumed sexually as you are as a single person. It also seems you need some good information about relationships and caring. Good sex that lasts over the long term requires much more than a 'wham bam' release. So do good long term relationships.

John
NZ

Thanks for the advice
The problem with having a friend who's a girl is that people would misunderstand for romance. Our society, especially the Christian, have an apathy towards girlfriends and romance outside of marriage. Its gonna be difficult but I'll try