Love?

[GnarlyPete]

What is love?
So I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year now and I am pretty confused. She is my best friend and I really like being with her but I don't know if I love her.... I think I do...
Before I was born again I went out with a girl and our relationship was, you know, worldly physical, and I really felt in love with her but the respect wasn't really there. I dont feel the same about my current girlfriend which kinda worries me because I would want to feel that if i was gonna marry her. It stupid because she is important to me and I care for her, I have told her that I love her but I find it wierd that I find it hard to say. Does the 'love' feeling come with physical closeness?
Some wise insight would be apprieciated!

 

[PastorJer]

I heard a very wise statement this week listening to a sermon that Ravi Zacharias preached .... it goes like this:

"Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion, and if you will to love somebody you can."

I am not sure if you are talking about love or physical attraction... love is much deeper than physical attraction... it is being willing to put the other persons interestes in front of your own, to serve them first, to care for them first, to protect and to care for them first, even if it leads to your own detrement... and as such love ultimately is a choice, a choice to unselfishly serve the one you choose to be in love with... hope that makes sense...

 

[joyouspirit]

I heard a very wise statement this week listening to a sermon that Ravi Zacharias preached .... it goes like this:

"Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion, and if you will to love somebody you can."

I am not sure if you are talking about love or physical attraction... love is much deeper than physical attraction... it is being willing to put the other persons interestes in front of your own, to serve them first, to care for them first, to protect and to care for them first, even if it leads to your own detrement... and as such love ultimately is a choice, a choice to unselfishly serve the one you choose to be in love with... hope that makes sense...

God bless!

 

[Blank123]

i don't think there is any better definition of love than this...

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails - 1 cor 13:4-8a

 

[Mskedi]

If I were your girlfriend I would want to know how you were feeling rather than have you say "I love you" while questioning your feelings.

I think there may be a danger in saying what you said here to her and making her feel as though you want her to sleep with you, so be careful... but it seems as though you're essentially leading her on, and since you care for her, I'm sure that's not your intent.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Love is not a feeling

It doesn't get any simpler than that.

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained” - C.S. Lewis

That is the best quote I know that concerns the issue of love. What it means is that love is a decision you make to care for someone, protect them, and do all those things mentioned in 1Cor.

I'm not awake enough yet to elaborate. So feel free to add.

CJ

 

[Tenorvoice]

/\ what he said..... Love is an action, and a choice that is made by a person. You have to choose to love someone, is just does not happen.

BTW Welcome to the forums

 

[Gardener101]

My advise if that you should leave this girl alone and date someone else. You will regret it in the longrun if you commit to her. I have heard many stories from unhappilly married men who describe the way you are feeling now and they had hoped that things would improve after they got married, but they never did.

When you meet the right person for you, you will be on clowd nine and never have to question your love for them.

 

[renewhope]

...

 

[Markus6]

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

I knew someone was going to do that.

CJ

 

[GnarlyPete]

Yeah, thanks a lot people!
Even as I wrote my original message I kinda knew it was stupid. Its like I want this short lived head in the clouds feeling of love but something that is real at the same time. I am learning that love is a verb and tonight I realised how precious our relationship is regardless of how I feel sometimes, thanks people.

 

[GnarlyPete]

My advise if that you should leave this girl alone and date someone else. You will regret it in the longrun if you commit to her. I have heard many stories from unhappilly married men who describe the way you are feeling now and they had hoped that things would improve after they got married, but they never did.

When you meet the right person for you, you will be on clowd nine and never have to question your love for them.

This is a bit scary, what do you guys think?

 

[plum]

I don't agree with Gardener. That's all I'll say about that.


but on a lighter, musical note...

I am learning that love is a verb

all kinds of songs in your posts, bro!

Down with the dc talk, d- d- down with the dc talk
Are you down with the dc talk, d- d- down with the dc talk

Pullin out my big black book
Cause when I need a word defined thats where I look
So I move to the ls quick, fast, in a hurry
Threw on my specs, thought my vision was blurry
I looked again but to my dismay
It was black and white with no room for grey
Ya see, a big v stood beyond my word
And yo thats when it hit me, that luv is a verb

(chorus 1)
Words come easy but dont mean much
When the words theyre sayin we cant put trust in
Were talkin bout love in a different light
And if we all learn to love it would be just right

(chorus 2)
Hey, tell me havent ya heard?
Luv, is a serious word
Hey, I think its time ya learned
I dont care what they say
I dont care care what ya heard
The word luv, luv is a verb

Down with the dc talk, d- d- down with the dc talk
Are you down with the dc talk, d- d- down with the dc talk

Thinkin of a way to explain-o
Cause ya know when Im flowin like a bottle of drain-o
Simple and plain, l-o-v-e
Aint all that junk that ya see on tv
Put soaps on a rope cause they aint worth copin with
Its a myth that there aint no hope and
Luv is enough if its unconditionally
Givin now youre living out the great commission

(repeat choruses 1 and 2)

Back in the day there was a man
Who stepped out of heaven and he walked the land
He delivered to the people an eternal choice
With a heart full of luv and the truth in his voice
Gave up his life so that we may live
How much more luv could the son of God give?
Here is the example that we oughtta be matchin
Cause luv is a word that requires some action

(repeat chorus 1)

(repeat chorus 2 x4)
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/d.c.+talk/luv+is+a+verb_20037662.html

 

[Blank123]

This is a bit scary, what do you guys think?

I can't agree with that. Love, as has already been stated, is a choice not a feeling. Love can be a confusing subject, especially when you're new to relationships or new to Christian relationships where the concept of love usually is different from the world's concept of love.

only you can decide if you love her and not us, we can just tell you what love is. If you don't believe you love her or ever will than it would be kinder to end things now, but judging from your posts i don't think thats the case and so i couldn't in good concious recommend breaking things off with her.

 

[Gardener101]

To clarify, being fond of someone and 'caring' for them is not the same as being in love with that person. And after a year of dating, most people would know by that time if they were in love or not.

Love is a choice? If that is the case, then being in love is not a choice.


Some people are just hopeless romantics and too scared to call a spade a spade. They are the ones who pat you on the back and have nothing better to say than 'nevermind' when you finally get a divorce.

 

[Everlasting33]

I once heard this quote that has stuck with me for a while:

"Love is allowing the person to hurt you and trusting them not to."