With regards to the "how", pray for it. Pray for it day in and day out.
When you have some time, find a quite place, and be still. Focus your attention on the gosepls; towards the passion Jesus Christ. Keep your attention towards our heavenly family; picture Mary, Jesus, and the Father in heaven looking down upon you with arms open, patiently awaiting you to come home. Picture the bright light of the holy spirit eminating from them and pervading through your body. Find this stillness; pray for this silence in your heart; ask Mary for her help and she will bring you *much* closer to the prpfound love of her Son.
If you can do this meditation while saying the sorrowful mysteries, it would do you well.
Also, try counting your blessings. Make a list of everything you are thankfull for in this life; everything that you have been given. Realize that everything you have that is good, all that you are, is a gift from God.
And I know you are going to daily Mass already, which is huge. Just continue in your perseverence and don't give up.