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Love unrequited...
- Thread starter shadowofthepast79
- Start date
jenptcfan
My cup runneth over
Are you called to missions? If she's sure that she's called to missions and you're sure that you're not, it's pretty clear that a breakup was the right thing. I don't think that means she has no feelings for you, but sometimes we have to stop and let God's will have precedence over our feelings. Best of luck to both of you. I hope that each of you will find God's will in this area.
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Living4Him03
Just wanna dance with you
First she feels you are "too good" for her, then she says you aren't a missionary so get lost, basically. That's not a very fair way of telling you she's not interested in dating you and just wants to be friends, or that she's just fickle and has no clue what she wants. She also spent much of her free time with you and acted like she wanted to date you, right? It seems so, and it seems like a lot of girls and guys do this. I don't get why you would hang out with someone so much if you know they like you and you have no intention of dating them. Sorry, but that is not a Christ-like thing to do, IMO. Anyway, if she wants a missionary, let her go find a missionary. Sounds like she's got some growing and maturing to do. Check back with her in a few years.
She sounds very confused and I don't think someone who is so fickle is someone you need to be dating. Maybe she's a great, Godly woman, but still, she seems like she's got some growing to do based on the way she has treated you. You COULD tell her she needs to decide what she wants and start being completely open and honest with you about her feelings for you instead of leading you in circles, or you could just give her some space and time to grow and keep praying and see where God leads. I'd say the second option is probably the best. Hope it works out (either way)! God bless!
She sounds very confused and I don't think someone who is so fickle is someone you need to be dating. Maybe she's a great, Godly woman, but still, she seems like she's got some growing to do based on the way she has treated you. You COULD tell her she needs to decide what she wants and start being completely open and honest with you about her feelings for you instead of leading you in circles, or you could just give her some space and time to grow and keep praying and see where God leads. I'd say the second option is probably the best. Hope it works out (either way)! God bless!
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Hope these relationship reads will encourage you 
http://www.christianforums.com/t115412&page=1
http://www.christianforums.com/t64836&page=32 (scroll to Rising Tree's post)
http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?p=2556635#post2556635
Jesus certainly knows all about rejection and unrequited love. Isaiah 53 has comforted me muchhhhhhhh.
http://www.christianforums.com/t115412&page=1
http://www.christianforums.com/t64836&page=32 (scroll to Rising Tree's post)
http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?p=2556635#post2556635
Jesus certainly knows all about rejection and unrequited love. Isaiah 53 has comforted me muchhhhhhhh.
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I could be wrong but it sounds like she's not into you and she's having a hard time straight-forwardly admitting it because she doesn't want to hurt you. 
I recognize this behavior because I do the same thing, unfortunately. 
If she is into you I hope she lets go of all of her fears and gives it another shot, if she's not, I hope you find some answers, gain some clarity, and are given the strength to heal and move on.
I recognize this behavior because I do the same thing, unfortunately. If she is into you I hope she lets go of all of her fears and gives it another shot, if she's not, I hope you find some answers, gain some clarity, and are given the strength to heal and move on.
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wvmtnkid
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I don't know, I sorta got just the opposite feeling from what LifeinYou got. I get the feeling for some reason, she does like you but she doesn't feel good enough for you, or perhaps worthy of having your attention. Just the fact that she said if you asked her to date you again, she wouldn't be able to say no. I don't know about other girls, but if there is someone that I am totally not interested in going out with, I don't normally have a problem saying no. 
Have you ever asked her why she doesn't feel she is the right girl for you? Why she feels you are too good for her? Maybe that would shed some light on what is going on with her. I do agree that perhaps she needs some time to grow and mature some. Maybe a separation period would be good for the both of you. It sounds like the in the past when you decided not to date, that really didn't change your relationship very much. Maybe consciously spending time apart from each other and seeking God's will in the situation will give you both some of the answers you are looking for. I know that may seem like the hardest thing in the world to do right now. But it's hard to make these decisions when our hearts are so involved. Sometimes you just have to step back and let go and trust God to have the reigns for a bit.
Have you ever asked her why she doesn't feel she is the right girl for you? Why she feels you are too good for her? Maybe that would shed some light on what is going on with her. I do agree that perhaps she needs some time to grow and mature some. Maybe a separation period would be good for the both of you. It sounds like the in the past when you decided not to date, that really didn't change your relationship very much. Maybe consciously spending time apart from each other and seeking God's will in the situation will give you both some of the answers you are looking for. I know that may seem like the hardest thing in the world to do right now. But it's hard to make these decisions when our hearts are so involved. Sometimes you just have to step back and let go and trust God to have the reigns for a bit.
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Give her some time... if it is God's will then he will have to bring it about in both of your hearts, not just one of you.
I agree with wvmtnkid, and would even go one step further--if she is torn because she likes you but doesn't feel good enough for you, there are possibly some underlying emotional issues going on there. Why does she feel like she doesn't deserve a good man? Often when a girl feels that way it indicates that she is afraid to believe that she can have something good, or that she deserves it--it can possibly point to past abuse or pain in her life, which left her feeling undeserving and unloveable. Of course, I might be reading too much into it, but it's worth considering.
I agree with wvmtnkid, and would even go one step further--if she is torn because she likes you but doesn't feel good enough for you, there are possibly some underlying emotional issues going on there. Why does she feel like she doesn't deserve a good man? Often when a girl feels that way it indicates that she is afraid to believe that she can have something good, or that she deserves it--it can possibly point to past abuse or pain in her life, which left her feeling undeserving and unloveable. Of course, I might be reading too much into it, but it's worth considering.
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wvmtnkid
Order of the Candle
- May 29, 2002
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You're welcome! And you've heard the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." In your time apart, she may very well be able to straighten out her feelings for you and come to a conclusion about what and who she needs in her life.doulos1979 said:
I agree here. Klewlis said it much better than I did and exactly what I was thinking. That there could be something from her past that is making her feel like she doesn't deserve you or anyone "good" for that matter. Not that I want to pry, but has she received any type of counseling for the abuse she has suffered? That may help her sort out some of these feelings of not being worthy of love.klewlis said:
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doulos1979 said:
It's unfortunate that her earlier counselling did not seem to do much for her. I think it's really hard to find *good* counsellors. It *may* be beneficial for her to try counselling again, but she may not be willing do to that.
What you can do is demonstrate that you love her anyway, and do everything in your power to let her know that she DOES deserve to be happy, she is a good and valid person, her opinions matter, her feelings matter, etc. It may also be helpful to hook her up with an older female Christian to mentor her.
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