Love For Him

[Heath18]

I have never loved Jesus, or God.

This is the truth.

I am heartbroken. I have been lying to myself for my entire life.
The only emotion that I have ever felt towards God and Jesus is fear of punishment, and a duty to obey.

That is not love.

I have been told that the only way I can truly love God is for God to generate this love within me.
He is the only one that can generate this love.
It is not possible for me to force myself to generate this love, it will only come when He decides.

I have also been told that He will only pour this love for Him into me once I surrender myself and my life to Him.

I want this love. I want it to spring up in me and never cease. I want Him to take control. I am not the one meant to be in control of my soul. He is. I will gladly step aside and let Him take over my entire being, and my entire existence.

How do I surrender myself and my life to Him?

I have felt that going to college and desiring a degree or a successful career is an idol.
Going to college takes all of my focus and I lose almost all desire to worship the Lord, read my Bible, and pray anytime I am trying to study, going to classes, etc...
Therefore I have decided that college is taking all of my focus off of the Lord, and therefore it is an idol.

I have been planning to drop out of college recently because of this idol situation, and I was about to call the financial aid office to drop out and start paying back my loans, but I started asking myself:

"Is this what God wants me to do?"
"Is what 'surrendering your life to God means'?"

Dropping out of college is a really big decision, and it will affect me for the rest of my life if I decide to drop out and accept working low paying jobs for the rest of my life.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Heath18]

How long have you been in college?

This is my 4th semester (1.5 years).

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Heath18]

You are already telling yourself that if you dropped out, then the rest of your life is basically ruined and you would always get low pay. Why would you want to throw away all the effort that you have put towards your degree so far? You can still find time to praise the Lord and read the Bible. You are busy studying, but there is time.

I just feel that I'm not giving everything to Him. I feel like I'm telling Him, "I want to be your child, but only if I can have a degree and be successful". I feel like I've given more value to success in this life rather than following Him.

Is this what surrendering to Him means? Giving up everything so that he will pour His love into me?

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Heath18]

Having a degree is not an absolute guarantee that you will be successful in a career. It can help. Only God can truly bless you in your life. He may want to use in places that a college degree will help you gain access.

That's true. Yeah... I guess I need to just pray about all of this for awhile.

 

[longwait]

I have never loved Jesus, or God.

This is the truth.

I am heartbroken. I have been lying to myself for my entire life.
The only emotion that I have ever felt towards God and Jesus is fear of punishment, and a duty to obey.

That is not love.

I have been told that the only way I can truly love God is for God to generate this love within me.
He is the only one that can generate this love.
It is not possible for me to force myself to generate this love, it will only come when He decides.

I have also been told that He will only pour this love for Him into me once I surrender myself and my life to Him.

I want this love. I want it to spring up in me and never cease. I want Him to take control. I am not the one meant to be in control of my soul. He is. I will gladly step aside and let Him take over my entire being, and my entire existence.

How do I surrender myself and my life to Him?

I have felt that going to college and desiring a degree or a successful career is an idol.
Going to college takes all of my focus and I lose almost all desire to worship the Lord, read my Bible, and pray anytime I am trying to study, going to classes, etc...
Therefore I have decided that college is taking all of my focus off of the Lord, and therefore it is an idol.

I have been planning to drop out of college recently because of this idol situation, and I was about to call the financial aid office to drop out and start paying back my loans, but I started asking myself:

"Is this what God wants me to do?"
"Is what 'surrendering your life to God means'?"

Dropping out of college is a really big decision, and it will affect me for the rest of my life if I decide to drop out and accept working low paying jobs for the rest of my life.

You can only love Him if you tasted Him. Pray that He will help you taste His goodness.
Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34:8

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Read the book of Daniel.

Daniel had to learn a new language, be re-educated by the babylonians, and
was made a eunuch... he was a captive slave in a pagan land for the rest of his life,
did Daniel stop living a god-honoring life even though he was a slave?
What did Daniel do three times a day?

 

[DreamerOfTheHeart]

I have never loved Jesus, or God.

This is the truth.

I am heartbroken. I have been lying to myself for my entire life.
The only emotion that I have ever felt towards God and Jesus is fear of punishment, and a duty to obey.

That is not love.

I have been told that the only way I can truly love God is for God to generate this love within me.
He is the only one that can generate this love.
It is not possible for me to force myself to generate this love, it will only come when He decides.

I have also been told that He will only pour this love for Him into me once I surrender myself and my life to Him.

I want this love. I want it to spring up in me and never cease. I want Him to take control. I am not the one meant to be in control of my soul. He is. I will gladly step aside and let Him take over my entire being, and my entire existence.

How do I surrender myself and my life to Him?

I have felt that going to college and desiring a degree or a successful career is an idol.
Going to college takes all of my focus and I lose almost all desire to worship the Lord, read my Bible, and pray anytime I am trying to study, going to classes, etc...
Therefore I have decided that college is taking all of my focus off of the Lord, and therefore it is an idol.

I have been planning to drop out of college recently because of this idol situation, and I was about to call the financial aid office to drop out and start paying back my loans, but I started asking myself:

"Is this what God wants me to do?"
"Is what 'surrendering your life to God means'?"

Dropping out of college is a really big decision, and it will affect me for the rest of my life if I decide to drop out and accept working low paying jobs for the rest of my life.

You do not need to drop out of college, but you do need to read the gospels.

Fast, alms, prayer, vigils (staying up the night)... and, as Jesus instructed, keep it secret.

What should you be banging on Heaven's door for, without ceasing until you get it?

The Holy Spirit.

When you get the Spirit, then you will love God and Jesus.

 

[ZourAourbaby]

Joe 2:21 Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things.
Joe 2:22 Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring, for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength.

 

[W2L]

Cast all your cares on God.

 

[LoricaLady]

I have never loved Jesus, or God.

This is the truth.

I am heartbroken. I have been lying to myself for my entire life.
The only emotion that I have ever felt towards God and Jesus is fear of punishment, and a duty to obey.

That is not love.

I have been told that the only way I can truly love God is for God to generate this love within me.
He is the only one that can generate this love.
It is not possible for me to force myself to generate this love, it will only come when He decides.

I have also been told that He will only pour this love for Him into me once I surrender myself and my life to Him.

I want this love. I want it to spring up in me and never cease. I want Him to take control. I am not the one meant to be in control of my soul. He is. I will gladly step aside and let Him take over my entire being, and my entire existence.

How do I surrender myself and my life to Him?

I have felt that going to college and desiring a degree or a successful career is an idol.
Going to college takes all of my focus and I lose almost all desire to worship the Lord, read my Bible, and pray anytime I am trying to study, going to classes, etc...
Therefore I have decided that college is taking all of my focus off of the Lord, and therefore it is an idol.

I have been planning to drop out of college recently because of this idol situation, and I was about to call the financial aid office to drop out and start paying back my loans, but I started asking myself:

"Is this what God wants me to do?"
"Is what 'surrendering your life to God means'?"

Dropping out of college is a really big decision, and it will affect me for the rest of my life if I decide to drop out and accept working low paying jobs for the rest of my life.

If you can use your college education to better serve others then it is a very good thing regardless of how much love you feel currently,

You can go to school, or have a job, and still put some time aside for the Almighty. People do that all the time. As you are in college it is likely that you are young and pretty healthy. Therefore I would recommend a once weekly fast of water only with prayer to love as you want to. Too much fasting can be harmful to your health, especially your adrenals, but once a week can work wonders - though you may fail a few times before you finally succeed.