Lost my way in life

[leef]

Hi All,

I writing here because I really have lost my way in life.

I'm 35 now and I'm doing a job that is similar to what I've been doing 10 years ago. I did take the plunge twice to improve myself. First time was in 2000, I got into a good IT support role. The I left to become a programmer. I work in a company for 3 years and didn't learn much. My wife whoveid the same degree as me moved forward for last 10 years. In end 2003 I tried again to prove myself and career butcit didn't work out andcthen I start. Suffering depression and I left.

Between mid 2005 to mid 2007 I work about 4 months. I was. So depressed at the time it was like I was in a coma. Gradually I got back in to It support roles from mid 2007 until now.
The issue being I've gone back and forth and feel back to square 1. My wife is way ahead in her career.

I'm now looking to take IT exams in august but finding it hard to concerntrate because of the depression in the past and also because I feel that I've wasted so much of my life. Instead of motivate it demotivates me.

Can anyone give me advice on my problems?

Thank you.

Leef

 

[Lucis]

I'm on disability because of mental illness myself, and I would be happy if I could at least do something, and actually feel like I could handle it. So maybe you can compare yourself to others, like myself, instead of your wife, and maybe it would feel like you're doing quite well.

 

[BlessEwe]

Congrats on your exam in Aug. Have you seen anyone professionally? Sometimes it could be a chemical imbalance of the brain, or in the body. It seems like you are really making an effort. Being assessed by a medical doctor may be very helpful. I will be praying for you.

 

[leef]

Hi to you both,

I try not to compare myself to my wife. She worked hard to get where she is and Im happy for her. However it hard as we both are in the same professional. Also if I wouldn't have lost my way, maybe we'd be better off than we are now. She feel and I stuck and haven't moved on. I know it's my fault.

Sorry to hear about your struggles.

Yes I saw two psychologists. One was a normal practictioner and gave me tasks to do, but no feedback, so that last 3 sessions. Another was a specalist in CBT, that helped a bit more. Told me I had to think about good things etc.

Still I feel stuck in a rut. Somedays better than others as we most of us really. I want to move on and overcome my feels of meeting people, not thinking that everyone is looking at me thinking im a fool, etc.

That is why I haven't moved forward. And is why Im struggling to study hard for this exam.

 

[JasonV]

leef,

Are you sure you want to work in IT? I've been in IT for the last six years, and frankly, I find it unsatisfying. Are you certain you wouldn't rather do something else?