Lost my mom

[marce30]

3 Weeks ago i lost my mom. She was living in Argentina. We are from there and im the only one living in the US. When she passed away i couldnt go to the funeral due to my legal situation in the country. Just imagine how hard it was for me thinking about that and not being able to go there to see her for the last time. Im completely by myself in this country (my whole family is there). I thought on killing myself because i want to go where she is now. Im so mad at God because he took what i love the most. If he is a god of love and compassion, why did he take my mother ? didnt he know i was going to suffer ? im not religious (i do believe in god tho) and i came to this forum asking for some answers. Im desperate, i see no exit, i have to take pills (sometimes 4) to go to sleep and when i wake up i dont want to do anything, just to be in front of the computer for hours. I dont know what else to do, please help me !!!

 

[rowantree]

((((((((((((marce30)))))))))
My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine the pain you must be in - it must be terrible. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I don't have any answers for you, but I care. I wish I could be where you are so that you would not have to be so alone. Praying for you marce. Please keep posting here. Will watch out for you.

 

[NoelAsa]

3 Weeks ago i lost my mom. She was living in Argentina. We are from there and im the only one living in the US. When she passed away i couldnt go to the funeral due to my legal situation in the country. Just imagine how hard it was for me thinking about that and not being able to go there to see her for the last time. Im completely by myself in this country (my whole family is there). I thought on killing myself because i want to go where she is now. Im so mad at God because he took what i love the most. If he is a god of love and compassion, why did he take my mother ? didnt he know i was going to suffer ? im not religious (i do believe in god tho) and i came to this forum asking for some answers. Im desperate, i see no exit, i have to take pills (sometimes 4) to go to sleep and when i wake up i dont want to do anything, just to be in front of the computer for hours. I dont know what else to do, please help me !!!

I am so sorry for your loss. Being so far away from your mother and being by yourself your grief is compounded. Greiving is normal, but what you are going through is even worse. You are very depressed and while depression is normal your thoughts of suicide worry me.

From what you have said I am assuming that you don't go to church so you have no one from there to talk with. You need to get into grief counseling. You are going through a lot of emotions right now and need some one close by to talk with.

You can try this organization to see if they have something close to where you live. GriefShare: Grief Recovery Support Groups It is a program that churches have. You don't have to belong to that church to participate. I have not gone to it, but I have heard good things about it.

When my husband died I used Hospice for counseling. In my area they are open to any person going, even if they didn't have a loved one using their facility. We had people who had lost different members of their family or even friends use the counseling service. Hospice You can check and see if they have something in your area. Also they have many articles about grief on their website that might help you.

Over the years I have lost my mother, father and husband. I understand being angry at God. It just seems so unfair, but as they say death is part of life. As you get older there will be even more people in your life that you will lose. It hurts missing the people that you love. I know it is hard to believe, but it really does get better with time. The first year is always the hardest. Even just trying to believe that they are actually gone is hard.

Please get into some type of counseling. Even is it is not with the two places that I have suggested. You need to be around other people that will understand what you are going through and can give you support. I will be praying for you.

 

[footballmommy]

There simply is no easy way when you lose someone you love. I too was far away when my grandmother died and oh how I wish I could have been there. You have to find some comfort in the memories that you have and maybe search for an alternative way to remember her. Wishing you some comfort and I am so very sorry for your loss!

 

[Contented]

3 Weeks ago i lost my mom. She was living in Argentina. We are from there and im the only one living in the US. When she passed away i couldnt go to the funeral due to my legal situation in the country. Just imagine how hard it was for me thinking about that and not being able to go there to see her for the last time. Im completely by myself in this country (my whole family is there). I thought on killing myself because i want to go where she is now. Im so mad at God because he took what i love the most. If he is a god of love and compassion, why did he take my mother ? didnt he know i was going to suffer ? im not religious (i do believe in god tho) and i came to this forum asking for some answers. Im desperate, i see no exit, i have to take pills (sometimes 4) to go to sleep and when i wake up i dont want to do anything, just to be in front of the computer for hours. I dont know what else to do, please help me !!!

My condolences. Your situation is the same for many others who have been living in the USA with a green card. I know a friend of mine her grandmother died and she could not leave the USA. It is a very terrible feeling. Since a person is caught between a rock and a hard place. Since all your family is in Argentina it means that you are very lonely particularly at this time. Your family would have been there for you and you all would grieve together.

Please do not be angry at God. God knows best. I hope that you would be able to get your immigration status regularlise and that you will be able to forgive yourself for not being able to visit. It was not easy. Keep in contact with your family. Life is not easy, but we all have to deal with whatever comes our way. The pill taking make not be a good thing. Try to use a calming herb tea at night instead of the pill. All the best to you.

 

[RogerVW]

marce30, I am so sorry for your loss! I think you will find there are lots on people here who can understand what you are going through. I know, I for one do not have the answers you seek but I am willing to listen.. for answers please go to God. I think it's ok to tell Him you are mad and to ask for understanding and to ask Him to help you through this tough tough time of your life. Please be gentle with yourself and when you are feeling down please try and remember the love your mother has for you and think about what she would want you to do. God loves you too!

 

[SplendidTree]

Praying for you right now.