lost love?

[kicker]

Does anybody wonder if they have lost the ability to love with this stuff. If you read my post about "normal or not" you will see I'm struggling with wanting God right now. I've noticed that I don't feel like I love my wife and kids and family and church people like I used to. Is this part of it.

 

[kaykay9.0]

I think when the battle with OCD is raging strong, it does sap our energy for other emotions. Doesn't mean we don't love these people. It's just that we are being so sucked dry by the OCD battle that it's tough to feel much else at the time. At least that's been my experience.

 

[seajoy]

It's all ocd. Please allow those of us looking at what you are saying to judge this. You are too deep in your ocd thoughts to be objective.

You love God and your wife and family. This is an illness that saps us of everything, because it effects what we hold most dear.

Are you in treatment with a psychiatrist? You will not be able to figure out these thoughts on your own. It would be like someone with cancer trying to "figure" away their disease. It's impossible. If it were possible, all of us wouldn't be in here, because we would have thought this stuff away long ago.

All your thinking is not working. You need ocd therapy very much. You have no idea what a relief it would be for you. It's hard and takes time....but it works.

 

[PilgrimsProgress]

Hi James, yes I have felt like that before... like others here have said, it seems to be common to those who have struggled with these things like we have... this is what I think the Lord showed me... one, to really try not to focus on myself, as in "why do I feel like I don't love anybody, etc.", and 2. to really really get to know how much the Lord loves me, because that FACT remains true, even though you are not feeling it right now.... to just SOAK in the fact that He has grace and love for me....

And the other thing is to remember that love is not a feeling anyway... it is a choice, and this I had to remind myself... I continued to CHOOSE to love, and to obey the Lord even though I wasn't feeeling it....

I truly hope this helps, and is not just a bunch of words... I do understand that this is a terrible feeling....

Laura

 

[BeccaLynn]

Everyone has given excellent advice. Yes, I have often FELT as if I don't love someone, including my husband and son. Exactly as Laura has stated though, love is absolutely not a feeling. Faith is not a feeling either. It is a decision, and we act upon that decision regardless of what we feel. When feelings call the shots, as they try to do with ocders, we can go off into all kinds of undesirable directions. Also, what Laura said about dwelling on how much God loves us is what I think God has been teaching me lately. I used to think that God was so angry and disappointed with me, and when you feel God sees you in this way, it makes building relationships with others hard. It distorts things. It's hard to feel love and show love when you feel unloved by your own creator. I'm just beginning to realize some of how much God loves me. It has been life-altering for me. It has changed the way I relate to others in a major way, especially to my son. And even now, it's just the "tip of the iceburg". If we could fathom how much He treasures us, we would be just blown away. We, in our humanness, couldn't handle it. Rest in knowing that God loves you, not in FEELING it. I wrote in my Bible quite a while back to "build a relationship with God and the feelings will follow". In other words, concentrate on God and His true character, not what ocd tells us He is. Feelings will follow. Even if they don't, it won't change the truth. Know that you love your wife and children. Ocd will have you analyzing every feeling until you won't know what is what. Just know that you do and act upon that.

Love,
Rebecca