Hey, I grew up catholic but have not practiced in years. I do find myself missing the community despite having social anxiety. I am a 29-year-old male who spent much time doing the wrong thing. I know I am on the search for something now more and I feel that it is likely God. I'm not sure what I fully believe but I do know that there is more to this world. Really been struggling to connect things the past few months though. I know I need to just get out and get back into it and I feel a great urge to volunteer and do good. I also feel like I've wasted so much time I want to connect more with my family and the friends I have left. I ended up being cut and cutting out a lot of people from my life and this point and that which affects me most of all is having those like my dad and grandfather who are now in a better place. I never really processed the grief of either despite being so many years from my grandfather and 3 from my father. I haven't really talked much about it except to my ex who is a beautiful person and still talks to me. I've struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, but medicine was the worst thing I could have done (great for some people not for me). I know I am pretty young but feel so old and struggle with thinking of the future despite plans and wants. What it really comes down to is the feel that I have a hole in my life both through lack of connection with those around me and God and base human spirituality. I find myself getting overwhelmed when I think about read or watch things about these things. My post is not meant to be a ramble or rant it is simply to express this what I think most about right now during these past few months. Thanks for reading any read or reply is appreciated. Happy New Year. I hope and even begin to pray that this world can come through its current chaos in to an era of unprecedented peace. There truly is no excuse for with what we as modern people allow to occur in this world. I truly believe the way so many people feel so lost right now is because people started projecting anxiety and fear in groups instead of positivity. Start spreading positivity again. For those like me for the first time. I could use some ideas for volunteering and how to get involved in local churches and projects.