Lost and confused!

[mystena]

I'm so confused, and mixed up in my head. My partner and me have been having a few problems lately. I accused him of going behind my back, because he was sneaking off, turning his fone off, then lying as to where he had been.... I know we all need space fro each other, but if its one thing I cannot stand is a bare faced liar.

We had a long chat, and decided to build bridges, then he joined all these dating sites, and eventually met a girl whom he now texts, rings, emails etc... I've been picking up on afew vibes, seen a few things, which makes me think he wants to be with this girl... maybe am paranoid, who knows. But when he tells me he wants to build bridges between us, and wants things to work out, then in the next breath ringing her....

This is only briefly whats going on, I know a lot more which is convincing me he wants to be with her, then in another way, wants to be with me...

I'm lost, confused, he is playing mind games and it's not helping my depression much, all I do is sit and cry, I just want somene to put their arms around me and make me feel safe, (mainly my partner)..

Can anyone help me before my head explodes or I do something I may regret.... please

 

[Ryskee182]

your in my prayers

 

[mystena]

thanx ryskee, much appriciated

 

[Frangible]

I don't know whether your partner is being unfaithful to you or not., though the dating site thing sort of suggests he's not exactly in a monogamous relationship with you.

Regardless, I think you're right that it's very much exacerbating your depression. Crying all the time isn't how your life should be going, it isn't a normal reaction to that level of stress. You wrote "before... I do something I may regret", if I'm interpreting that correctly, that's pretty severely exacerbated depression.

I would suggest seeing a professional psychiatrist and getting a better understanding and diagnosis of what's going on with you, and then moving forward from that point of understanding to healing and getting you back on track where you should be.

I'm going to make a wild guess here that due your depression, and maybe other factors, you tend to be extra-sensitive to many types of stress, not just this case with your partner (and there's nothing wrong with being stressed over this-- anyone would be). I think by addressing the underlying issues that are causing you to be extra sensitive to these things will be the best long-term solution, for many issues, in this relationship and others.

I wish I could help you, but I can't. And I don't know how to handle the situation with your partner. But I would encourage you to get help and lessen the suffering you're going through. You shouldn't have to endure it alone, and it's not something you can will away.
It's not your fault, and things can get better.

 

[mystena]

thanx frangible, ur right in saying there are underlying issues, and im currently seeking help, ive been talking to my local minister, and she has wrote a letter for me to seek professonal help, maybe once ive been there and got rid of these "ghosts", i will see things more clearer, only time will tell