What is my life about? What am I existing for, I am hanging on a short thread. I don't know where to move to, I don't know what job to do, or how to get out and improve my life. I have been on antidepressants for 8yrs straight, and was suggested that since they couldn't find anything or combos to help, to try other things, such as christian counselling. This did help for 4yr until she stopped practicing. It is ok, but I feel like I get up and live, but I don't enjoy being here or have anything or anyone to live for.....No goals, directions or aspirations.
God, why am I here if not to do some good here, and not just exist......I am alive and breathing, I should be thankful for that but not doing much else. It is hard to be thankful for having a job when it is the type of job that keeps you from even attending church and bible studies....on Sundays, and evenings. I want to move and start over and don't know how, or why? I am alone here in this place. No family, and a few friends, but I am sure they get tired of me, as I do myself. I have reached out of myself to help others, but feel rejection, and I turn and hide in my own skin.
I look at others who have it sooooo bad, friends in bad health and cancer, and yet I tend to cry everyday because I am so sad. I am 49 and want to go and live under a rock until God comes and gets me.
Pray that God intervenes and pulls me up........yesterday I found out that a lady that mentored me had died.....Things like this don't help! I feel soooooo alone, and confused in my own thoughts and messed up head.
Not making any sense here, I know. Thank you for letting me vent.
God, why am I here if not to do some good here, and not just exist......I am alive and breathing, I should be thankful for that but not doing much else. It is hard to be thankful for having a job when it is the type of job that keeps you from even attending church and bible studies....on Sundays, and evenings. I want to move and start over and don't know how, or why? I am alone here in this place. No family, and a few friends, but I am sure they get tired of me, as I do myself. I have reached out of myself to help others, but feel rejection, and I turn and hide in my own skin.
I look at others who have it sooooo bad, friends in bad health and cancer, and yet I tend to cry everyday because I am so sad. I am 49 and want to go and live under a rock until God comes and gets me.
Pray that God intervenes and pulls me up........yesterday I found out that a lady that mentored me had died.....Things like this don't help! I feel soooooo alone, and confused in my own thoughts and messed up head.
Not making any sense here, I know. Thank you for letting me vent.
