Losing hope.

[Longing For Answers]

Hi all. I am new to the forums. Just found this my a google search because I wanted to be able to come and vent since my friends won't get it.

To try and make a long story short, I am 40 years old, which really sounds too old to describe me, but oh well. Clearly, I am single, since this is the singles forum. I am one of those females who grew up knowing I would graduate college, get married to a wonderful man, and have several wonderful, happy children. You know, the whole white picket fence thing. I mean, God wouldn't have put that longing and desire in my heart if he wasn't going to fulfill it, right? I tried to be the best person God wanted me to be and do things right: saving myself for marriage, no drugs, no smoking, limited alcohol, going to church, had good friends, read my Bible, constantly working on my prayer life, involved in church and some Bible Studies/church groups, yada, yada, yada.

I have dated a lot and been in long-term relationships that I ended for varying reasons. My plans, of course, did not happen, because as many of us know, God laughs at our plans...Okay, not really, I know. So everything seemed to happen backward. I finished college, got a career, bought a house. But no man. Yes, there was a time when I was perfectly fine being single (I always viewed this as a temporary thing). In fact, I was even in a singles group at my church (you know, the rare kind that isn't all about dating; in fact, I was the youngest one always in the group). Well, I ended up meeting a man there; he was a bit older than I; we became friends for about a year before we started dating, as I watched to see who he was. Meanwhile, I had been praying of course, not wanting this relationship to start unless I felt that is where God led me. I thought that God had given me the green light. It is now four years later. I ended the relationship about a month ago for a few reasons: 1 being that I feel that he lied to get me to date him: lying about wanting to have kids (he already had 3 of his own, out of the house). I made SURE he wanted to have kids before we started dating. He, on the other hand, said he never lied; that he just changed his mind. He is the first man I have ever wanted to marry (he really wants to get married to me, minus the kids thing of course). I feel hurt, betrayed, etc. And I don't understand. Why would God put him in my life if it were going to end like this? And why would God give me these healthy desires for family if it ends up not ever happening? If I read the situation wrong - thinking God was giving the green light when in fact, he didn't - then how am I ever supposed to know when it is what God wants if I read this whole thing wrong? Although in the day to day I am okay being single, I always see it as a temporary thing. I do not want to be alone, without a partner, for the rest of my life. My longing is for a family. Just really struggling with my thoughts right now. Thanks for listening. (And please, no comments about having kids at my age. I am VERY aware of my biological clock and have been since I was 15).

 

[blackribbon]

Not sure how to respond if I can't discuss the obvious....

Are you willing to give up a good man that you would like to marry over the theoretical children that you may never be able to have biologically at your age even if you were to get married today (never mind the time it would take to find a new man, decide that you liked him enough to get married, and actually get married)?

I am not trying to be mean but I am a nurse and if you were to get pregnant today, you would be considered a high risk pregnancy, particularly since this would be your first. It may be a hard reality, but it is a reality.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi longing .... welcome to CF.
Sorry you went this long in your life with no man, marriage and no kids.
I don't have an answer for you. When I hear stories like yours I think the man or woman has been too picky, but that is just my personal opinion and that is about me and not about you.
This thought does occurr to me, find some way to volunteer with kids, ya, they aren't your own, but its a quick want to get involved in a child's life and there are many out there that need a good woman like you by their side.

 

[quietpraiyze]

@Longing For Answers

I'm sorry that happened to you. That has to be hard because the person lied and took your time. What he did was no small thing. I think you have every right to tell him so. I will tell you at this age many men already have children and they don't want more. So that can be a deal breaker but in your case I think the lying along is tantamount. At least you found out before you got married. I don't know if you watch movies but there is this little movie called “Under the Tuscan Sun”. No it's not a Christian movie and it has adult themes but I like it, maybe you will get something out of it.

It's not easy being single when you want to be married and you've done everything the Lord has asked of you. I know it has to hurt but please be careful to not allow a root of bitterness to spring forth in your heart. I believe children are not just born through the loins but through the heart as well. It's not over until God says it's over. Please think about that and be encouraged.

 

[dayhiker]

I liked that movie, "Under the Tuscun Sun" as well. That was a ways back that I saw that.

 

[quietpraiyze]

I liked that movie, "Under the Tuscun Sun" as well. That was a ways back that I saw that.

Yes I like the overall message of the movie.

 

[Sunshine27]

Hi Longing. I'm new to the forums too.

What you are going through is so difficult! It sounds like you got mixed up with someone who made you feel like you were going to get your heart's desires just to keep you around. My ex husband did the exact same thing to me. I was so hurt and upset during our marriage when things were falling apart. I guess it's better that you realized it wasn't working for you before you got married.

Sometimes I think we have this vision in our head about what we want in life and we forget to live life. It took a while but I finally learned to ask God what he wants for me (not that you shouldn't express your desires to Him). I don't always get an answer right away but it makes for a more peaceful life. I think the important thing I keep telling myself is to trust God. He has a plan for you and will see it through if you let him.

 

[Tom Mix]

Stop blaming God for your mistakes. God did not put into your heart the things you did.

You make bad choices. Go back to square one and rethink what it is you want in life. Chances are your man was given to you long ago but you wanted to be free and date a little before being tied down. Don't blame God because you missed the train because you wanted to see what it was like in the Bahamas first.

And do not blame the guy either, you did want you wanted to do. When you follow a clown do not get mad when he throws a pie in your face.

What should you do, I do not know as it is your life you are leading. How about you make some good decisions for awhile and stop blaming everybody else.

 

[LoveDivine]

Hi all. I am new to the forums. Just found this my a google search because I wanted to be able to come and vent since my friends won't get it.

To try and make a long story short, I am 40 years old, which really sounds too old to describe me, but oh well. Clearly, I am single, since this is the singles forum. I am one of those females who grew up knowing I would graduate college, get married to a wonderful man, and have several wonderful, happy children. You know, the whole white picket fence thing. I mean, God wouldn't have put that longing and desire in my heart if he wasn't going to fulfill it, right? I tried to be the best person God wanted me to be and do things right: saving myself for marriage, no drugs, no smoking, limited alcohol, going to church, had good friends, read my Bible, constantly working on my prayer life, involved in church and some Bible Studies/church groups, yada, yada, yada.

I have dated a lot and been in long-term relationships that I ended for varying reasons. My plans, of course, did not happen, because as many of us know, God laughs at our plans...Okay, not really, I know. So everything seemed to happen backward. I finished college, got a career, bought a house. But no man. Yes, there was a time when I was perfectly fine being single (I always viewed this as a temporary thing). In fact, I was even in a singles group at my church (you know, the rare kind that isn't all about dating; in fact, I was the youngest one always in the group). Well, I ended up meeting a man there; he was a bit older than I; we became friends for about a year before we started dating, as I watched to see who he was. Meanwhile, I had been praying of course, not wanting this relationship to start unless I felt that is where God led me. I thought that God had given me the green light. It is now four years later. I ended the relationship about a month ago for a few reasons: 1 being that I feel that he lied to get me to date him: lying about wanting to have kids (he already had 3 of his own, out of the house). I made SURE he wanted to have kids before we started dating. He, on the other hand, said he never lied; that he just changed his mind. He is the first man I have ever wanted to marry (he really wants to get married to me, minus the kids thing of course). I feel hurt, betrayed, etc. And I don't understand. Why would God put him in my life if it were going to end like this? And why would God give me these healthy desires for family if it ends up not ever happening? If I read the situation wrong - thinking God was giving the green light when in fact, he didn't - then how am I ever supposed to know when it is what God wants if I read this whole thing wrong? Although in the day to day I am okay being single, I always see it as a temporary thing. I do not want to be alone, without a partner, for the rest of my life. My longing is for a family. Just really struggling with my thoughts right now. Thanks for listening. (And please, no comments about having kids at my age. I am VERY aware of my biological clock and have been since I was 15).

I know I'm a few years younger than the stated age range for this group, but I read your post and I really wanted to reply. I think it's easy to assume that a seemingly decent man that you have met was brought into your life by God. I have made that assumption before. In many cases, my initial perception of a person was much more positive than it should have been.. Sometimes, we make mistakes in assessing another's character. It is easy to overlook seemingly minor flaws or issues, especially if you find the person appealing or attractive. Over time, these little flaws can indicate major underlying character issues. Perhaps there were little signs that you missed? I think the fact that he was already previously married with kids of his own would require some further investigation (assuming his first wife did not pass away). I totally understand that you would feel very discouraged and fearful to trust your gut again. It is easy to feel that way after being so sure that something was right. I do think that sometimes we can ask God to reveal his will in a situation, but we aren't in the right place or frame of mind to hear it. I would take consolation that you did see things properly in time (albeit slower than you would have liked). At least you aren't going into the marriage under the false premise of having children together.

I do think it was very unfair of him to date you for 4 years and allow you to believe he wanted to have more children. Did it really take him four years to figure that out? I would tend to agree with your opinion that he wasn't being entirely honest. I don't think your desires to be happily married and have children (although totally good desires) were necessarily placed in your heart by God. I think those are natural desires for a Christian woman. I think there have been many Christian women that longed for that and unfortunately never saw those desires materialize. I would add that having those desires doesn't automatically equate to marriage/children being the plan of God for our life. (I'm not saying it isn't for you). I don't think it is accurate to say that God gave me these desires therefore I should have a husband/family. Although I am saying this isn't God's fault, I am not saying that your situation is definitely the result of a string of poor choices. I don't feel comfortable implying that you were too picky all these years. Some people definitely are too picky and others have never been fortunate enough to meet someone that is a good match.

I don't think anyone can properly advise you on what to do in this situation. This is a choice that will affect the rest of your life. Personally, I would be very hesitant to marry him (not because of the children issue, but because he wasn't upfront with you).

 

[blackribbon]

Again, shoot me...but as a nurse, I can't separate your biological clock from this situation. Why did you date him for four years without getting married if having children was that important to you? Even if his words were saying "yes, maybe I would be open to having more children", his actions were saying very different things. If you had gotten pregnant the day you started dating him at 36, you would have already been considered a high risk pregnancy and an "elderly" new mother (over 35 gets this designation). Four years is a long time to "date" someone without getting engaged. The other side of the story is that you haven't said how old HE is. Just like women who get pregnant after 40 have an increased risk of giving birth to a downs syndrome child, men who father babies after their 50th birthday have an increased risk of fathering babies with schizophrenia...the difference is that you know a downs baby at birth but the schizophrenia seldom shows up until the child is in their early 20s (that means dad is over 70 at diagnosis).

I would look back at really reflect on what he said....did he say he WANTED more children or simply that he might be OPEN to having more children and you didn't listen to the doubts that he was already expressing about entering into that stage of his life again. Sometimes we want something so bad that we really don't hear what is actually being said. What we express is a combination of verbal words combined with our non-verbal communications. I suspect that he was telling you the truth long before you decided to hear it. If not, then is a flat out liar and run. If other than the children issue, he is a good man that you genuinely love, I consider couples counseling to determine if you could work through this little emotional betrayal and make the relationship as a whole work. You still might find another man to love but having babies outside of adoption is not a realistic goal. God can provide anything but infertility issues and going month after month of being disappointed because you are not pregnant is very hard on a marriage....and that stress alone can prevent pregnancy from happening.

I'd stop and let the baby issue go for a moment and make the all important decision...Is this a man I could see myself being with for the rest of my life and being happy with...including no children? If not, do yourself a favor and let him go for both of your sakes because you didn't really love him enough to marry him in the first place. None of us are guaranteed children when we pick our spouses, even if we are 18 years old...you better marry a man because of HIM and not because of the things he can give you...that includes children. Eventually, the kids do leave the house and it is just you and him again. If the marriage was all about the kids, then it falls apart. I am going to assume that he may be a bit older than you (am I correct?)...and he has hit the point in his life where he is looking forward to enjoying his life instead of all his extra money and time belonging to his kids. What are his dreams for his future? He knows yours but have you even taken a moment to learn his? If you had, did they ever include small children in them?

 

[Texas101]

Hi all. I am new to the forums. Just found this my a google search because I wanted to be able to come and vent since my friends won't get it.

To try and make a long story short, I am 40 years old, which really sounds too old to describe me, but oh well. Clearly, I am single, since this is the singles forum. I am one of those females who grew up knowing I would graduate college, get married to a wonderful man, and have several wonderful, happy children. You know, the whole white picket fence thing. I mean, God wouldn't have put that longing and desire in my heart if he wasn't going to fulfill it, right? I tried to be the best person God wanted me to be and do things right: saving myself for marriage, no drugs, no smoking, limited alcohol, going to church, had good friends, read my Bible, constantly working on my prayer life, involved in church and some Bible Studies/church groups, yada, yada, yada.

I have dated a lot and been in long-term relationships that I ended for varying reasons. My plans, of course, did not happen, because as many of us know, God laughs at our plans...Okay, not really, I know. So everything seemed to happen backward. I finished college, got a career, bought a house. But no man. Yes, there was a time when I was perfectly fine being single (I always viewed this as a temporary thing). In fact, I was even in a singles group at my church (you know, the rare kind that isn't all about dating; in fact, I was the youngest one always in the group). Well, I ended up meeting a man there; he was a bit older than I; we became friends for about a year before we started dating, as I watched to see who he was. Meanwhile, I had been praying of course, not wanting this relationship to start unless I felt that is where God led me. I thought that God had given me the green light. It is now four years later. I ended the relationship about a month ago for a few reasons: 1 being that I feel that he lied to get me to date him: lying about wanting to have kids (he already had 3 of his own, out of the house). I made SURE he wanted to have kids before we started dating. He, on the other hand, said he never lied; that he just changed his mind. He is the first man I have ever wanted to marry (he really wants to get married to me, minus the kids thing of course). I feel hurt, betrayed, etc. And I don't understand. Why would God put him in my life if it were going to end like this? And why would God give me these healthy desires for family if it ends up not ever happening? If I read the situation wrong - thinking God was giving the green light when in fact, he didn't - then how am I ever supposed to know when it is what God wants if I read this whole thing wrong? Although in the day to day I am okay being single, I always see it as a temporary thing. I do not want to be alone, without a partner, for the rest of my life. My longing is for a family. Just really struggling with my thoughts right now. Thanks for listening. (And please, no comments about having kids at my age. I am VERY aware of my biological clock and have been since I was 15).

Welcome to the forum,

Let me give you a different perspective on his changing his mind. I'm an (older) male, divorced with kids now out of the house. When I was in my late 30's I thought I wanted additional kids. I remained single and as I've gotten older I realized that having kids was no longer an option. This was a practical conclusion as I would be parenting kids well into my 60's. I felt I would not be able to relate to them as a younger parent could. Since you dated this gentlemen it's possible he was not being untruthful but came to a similar conclusion as I did and changed his mind.

 

[steflou64]

I know, sweetie-I am 51 (will be 52 in January) and never married. I have also done the "right things" including saving myself for marriage, etc. I have been "palling around" with a guy for about 6 months but think it is more of a friend zone situation. I don't want kids thank goodness but would like to experience marriage before the Lord returns and get very depressed sometimes! I am in several free christian online wesites and a secular free site and not having any luck. I guess you just have to pray and try to circulate the best you can.

 

[eastcascade]

I am so sorry you had to go through that pain. Although I cannot relate to it, being 43 and never dated, I can feel for you as I have watched my brothers and some of my friends experience the same thing. So don't feel that you are alone.
I have found that if you allow yourself to fall in love with the Father (your first love) He will heal you and will give you the desires of your heart. But one has to completely surrender to Him and believe me! You will fall in love with Him! Easy? No. But once that happens for you, I think you will find healing and direction.
Have you ever read any of Michelle McKinney Hammond's books for singles? If not you might give them a try. One of my good friends suggested them to me (just in case the Lord has someone out there for me) and they are very enlightening and educational. You might try the author's website at Heartwing ministries to see if her message and guidance would appeal to you.
Take heart because your First Love loves you and He knows your heart and your longings.

 

[kwells]

I seriously only thought men had this feeling, regarding not wanting to be-alone in life. The need to have family and a life-partner.

I had a this conversation with a friend a few days ago, feeling alone and looking back at my a accomplishments and the steps it taken to get where I am now. The last thing I thought at this point I would be-alone, going home to an empty-home at the end-of-day! haha!! its really not funny, but I believe theirs away to make a home with a sensuous, and christian-woman.

Respectfully Kenneth,

 

[dayhiker]

I guess we are all in different places. I like going home to an empty house. Tho each weekend I'm pretty much with friends and GFs so then I'm not alone.
Since I'm an introvert the alone time I get during the week after work really helps me to be grounded in Christ and then to go out and love people. I think
if I had people, or even a wife around all the time I'd not be as able to connect with people.

 

[kwells]

Hi all. I am new to the forums. Just found this my a google search because I wanted to be able to come and vent since my friends won't get it.

To try and make a long story short, I am 40 years old, which really sounds too old to describe me, but oh well. Clearly, I am single, since this is the singles forum. I am one of those females who grew up knowing I would graduate college, get married to a wonderful man, and have several wonderful, happy children. You know, the whole white picket fence thing. I mean, God wouldn't have put that longing and desire in my heart if he wasn't going to fulfill it, right? I tried to be the best person God wanted me to be and do things right: saving myself for marriage, no drugs, no smoking, limited alcohol, going to church, had good friends, read my Bible, constantly working on my prayer life, involved in church and some Bible Studies/church groups, yada, yada, yada.

I have dated a lot and been in long-term relationships that I ended for varying reasons. My plans, of course, did not happen, because as many of us know, God laughs at our plans...Okay, not really, I know. So everything seemed to happen backward. I finished college, got a career, bought a house. But no man. Yes, there was a time when I was perfectly fine being single (I always viewed this as a temporary thing). In fact, I was even in a singles group at my church (you know, the rare kind that isn't all about dating; in fact, I was the youngest one always in the group). Well, I ended up meeting a man there; he was a bit older than I; we became friends for about a year before we started dating, as I watched to see who he was. Meanwhile, I had been praying of course, not wanting this relationship to start unless I felt that is where God led me. I thought that God had given me the green light. It is now four years later. I ended the relationship about a month ago for a few reasons: 1 being that I feel that he lied to get me to date him: lying about wanting to have kids (he already had 3 of his own, out of the house). I made SURE he wanted to have kids before we started dating. He, on the other hand, said he never lied; that he just changed his mind. He is the first man I have ever wanted to marry (he really wants to get married to me, minus the kids thing of course). I feel hurt, betrayed, etc. And I don't understand. Why would God put him in my life if it were going to end like this? And why would God give me these healthy desires for family if it ends up not ever happening? If I read the situation wrong - thinking God was giving the green light when in fact, he didn't - then how am I ever supposed to know when it is what God wants if I read this whole thing wrong? Although in the day to day I am okay being single, I always see it as a temporary thing. I do not want to be alone, without a partner, for the rest of my life. My longing is for a family. Just really struggling with my thoughts right now. Thanks for listening. (And please, no comments about having kids at my age. I am VERY aware of my biological clock and have been since I was 15).

Hi all. I am new to the forums. Just found this my a google search because I wanted to be able to come and vent since my friends won't get it.

To try and make a long story short, I am 40 years old, which really sounds too old to describe me, but oh well. Clearly, I am single, since this is the singles forum. I am one of those females who grew up knowing I would graduate college, get married to a wonderful man, and have several wonderful, happy children. You know, the whole white picket fence thing. I mean, God wouldn't have put that longing and desire in my heart if he wasn't going to fulfill it, right? I tried to be the best person God wanted me to be and do things right: saving myself for marriage, no drugs, no smoking, limited alcohol, going to church, had good friends, read my Bible, constantly working on my prayer life, involved in church and some Bible Studies/church groups, yada, yada, yada.

I have dated a lot and been in long-term relationships that I ended for varying reasons. My plans, of course, did not happen, because as many of us know, God laughs at our plans...Okay, not really, I know. So everything seemed to happen backward. I finished college, got a career, bought a house. But no man. Yes, there was a time when I was perfectly fine being single (I always viewed this as a temporary thing). In fact, I was even in a singles group at my church (you know, the rare kind that isn't all about dating; in fact, I was the youngest one always in the group). Well, I ended up meeting a man there; he was a bit older than I; we became friends for about a year before we started dating, as I watched to see who he was. Meanwhile, I had been praying of course, not wanting this relationship to start unless I felt that is where God led me. I thought that God had given me the green light. It is now four years later. I ended the relationship about a month ago for a few reasons: 1 being that I feel that he lied to get me to date him: lying about wanting to have kids (he already had 3 of his own, out of the house). I made SURE he wanted to have kids before we started dating. He, on the other hand, said he never lied; that he just changed his mind. He is the first man I have ever wanted to marry (he really wants to get married to me, minus the kids thing of course). I feel hurt, betrayed, etc. And I don't understand. Why would God put him in my life if it were going to end like this? And why would God give me these healthy desires for family if it ends up not ever happening? If I read the situation wrong - thinking God was giving the green light when in fact, he didn't - then how am I ever supposed to know when it is what God wants if I read this whole thing wrong? Although in the day to day I am okay being single, I always see it as a temporary thing. I do not want to be alone, without a partner, for the rest of my life. My longing is for a family. Just really struggling with my thoughts right now. Thanks for listening. (And please, no comments about having kids at my age. I am VERY aware of my biological clock and have been since I was 15).

Hi all. I am new to the forums. Just found this my a google search because I wanted to be able to come and vent since my friends won't get it.

To try and make a long story short, I am 40 years old, which really sounds too old to describe me, but oh well. Clearly, I am single, since this is the singles forum. I am one of those females who grew up knowing I would graduate college, get married to a wonderful man, and have several wonderful, happy children. You know, the whole white picket fence thing. I mean, God wouldn't have put that longing and desire in my heart if he wasn't going to fulfill it, right? I tried to be the best person God wanted me to be and do things right: saving myself for marriage, no drugs, no smoking, limited alcohol, going to church, had good friends, read my Bible, constantly working on my prayer life, involved in church and some Bible Studies/church groups, yada, yada, yada.

I have dated a lot and been in long-term relationships that I ended for varying reasons. My plans, of course, did not happen, because as many of us know, God laughs at our plans...Okay, not really, I know. So everything seemed to happen backward. I finished college, got a career, bought a house. But no man. Yes, there was a time when I was perfectly fine being single (I always viewed this as a temporary thing). In fact, I was even in a singles group at my church (you know, the rare kind that isn't all about dating; in fact, I was the youngest one always in the group). Well, I ended up meeting a man there; he was a bit older than I; we became friends for about a year before we started dating, as I watched to see who he was. Meanwhile, I had been praying of course, not wanting this relationship to start unless I felt that is where God led me. I thought that God had given me the green light. It is now four years later. I ended the relationship about a month ago for a few reasons: 1 being that I feel that he lied to get me to date him: lying about wanting to have kids (he already had 3 of his own, out of the house). I made SURE he wanted to have kids before we started dating. He, on the other hand, said he never lied; that he just changed his mind. He is the first man I have ever wanted to marry (he really wants to get married to me, minus the kids thing of course). I feel hurt, betrayed, etc. And I don't understand. Why would God put him in my life if it were going to end like this? And why would God give me these healthy desires for family if it ends up not ever happening? If I read the situation wrong - thinking God was giving the green light when in fact, he didn't - then how am I ever supposed to know when it is what God wants if I read this whole thing wrong? Although in the day to day I am okay being single, I always see it as a temporary thing. I do not want to be alone, without a partner, for the rest of my life. My longing is for a family. Just really struggling with my thoughts right now. Thanks for listening. (And please, no comments about having kids at my age. I am VERY aware of my biological clock and have been since I was 15).

I seriously only thought men had this feeling, regarding not wanting to be-alone in life. The need to have family and a life-partner.

I had a this conversation with a friend a few days ago, feeling alone and looking back at my a accomplishments and the stepsit taken to get where I am now. The last thing I thought at this point I would be-alone, going home to an empty-home at theend-of-day! haha!! its really not funny, but I believe theirs away to make a home with a sensuous, and christian-woman.

Respectfully Kenneth,

 

[kwells]

error

 

[exitstageright]

I seriously only thought men had this feeling, regarding not wanting to be-alone in life. The need to have family and a life-partner.

I had a this conversation with a friend a few days ago, feeling alone and looking back at my a accomplishments and the stepsit taken to get where I am now. The last thing I thought at this point I would be-alone, going home to an empty-home at theend-of-day! haha!! its really not funny, but I believe theirs away to make a home with a sensuous, and christian-woman.

Respectfully Kenneth,

Is a sensuous,and christian woman an oxymoron? Unfortunately,there are those who think that must be the case.

 

[dayhiker]

I'd say there are some ..but I'd also say there are a lot that to really give themselves to having fun with their sensuality is a foreign concept and even
if they did want to be sensuous wouldn't know how to. Of course sicne most of us Christians guys have never been with a woman who was really senusous
we wouldn't know how to handle a sensuous woman either and would almost make some comment that would shame a sensuous Christian woman
so that she would never show that side to us again.

 

[GraceDriven]

In today's society marriage is overrated. The only bless thing that came from mine was my kids.