Losing Hope

[Jeshu]

I have a job interview tomorrow at noon. Please pray I would actually go and do well. I really need this job regardless if I like it or not. I could really use your prayers on this. I'm quite anxious and worried I might have a panic attack in the interview. I hope I can make it. Was very depressed today. I did make it to the gym but after that I was a zombie the rest of the day. Sigh...

I pray you will go with Jesus so the Peace that surpasses all understanding will go with you.

Rules for living;

Love god, Neighbour and self
Faith in His almighty care
Hope in His unfailing love

Reject and fight all worry
Accepting as it must go as best

Happy battling!

 

[bomichaels]

I'm still looking for work and feel so bad about myself. I'm getting scared
because it is getting harder for me to leave the house. My thoughts
are beating me to death. I feel like such a failure to God and my wife.
I can't even think right. Writing these sentences are even extremely difficult. Also I'm out of meds and can't afford anymore. Not that
they have even helped me anyway. Please pray for me.

 

[bsd31]

I'm still looking for work and feel so bad about myself. I'm getting scared
because it is getting harder for me to leave the house. My thoughts
are beating me to death. I feel like such a failure to God and my wife.
I can't even think right. Writing these sentences are even extremely difficult. Also I'm out of meds and can't afford anymore. Not that
they have even helped me anyway. Please pray for me.

You are NOT a failure to God. He doesn't expect anything from you. He never put any stock in you or what you could do for Him to begin with. He loves you because that's what He does regardless of who you are or what you have (or haven't) done. If you can get nothing else right you need to get the love of God for you right because healing flows from it. You'll never understand the love of God you just need to let Him empty it out on you like He desires to do.

As someone who has struggled since I was about 10 or 11 with bipolar I know it's not an easy road and it may never be, but instead of focusing on the darkness look to the light of God's love. And remember He that lives in you, from which flow rivers of life, is greater than any circumstance you can ever face. There is healing in The Name.

 

[Jeshu]

You are NOT a failure to God. He doesn't expect anything from you. He never put any stock in you or what you could do for Him to begin with. He loves you because that's what He does regardless of who you are or what you have (or haven't) done. If you can get nothing else right you need to get the love of God for you right because healing flows from it. You'll never understand the love of God you just need to let Him empty it out on you like He desires to do.

As someone who has struggled since I was about 10 or 11 with bipolar I know it's not an easy road and it may never be, but instead of focusing on the darkness look to the light of God's love. And remember He that lives in you, from which flow rivers of life, is greater than any circumstance you can ever face. There is healing in The Name.

Indeed Jesus is The Key for surviving bad and bringing lasting good. Give yourself grace, you need forgiveness this will heal your terrible wounds like nothing else can.

Look at Him not your failures
Let go of doubt, guilt and fear why would you keep 'eating' that?
Reach out for love and light let that fill you!

Fight on!

 

[Michaelangelo631]

I am right there with you, being in the dark pit. Feels like the walls are not an easy climb out either. I also wonder before the Lord how long things will stay this way. For what it's worth I am right there with ya in similar circumstances. I think it's good if you can 1. not give up on yourself and 2. keep shooting up those cry for help prayers. Hang in there Brother!

 

[bomichaels]

It's nice to know I'm not alone in this dark place. I did force myself to
get out today and lift weights. I also did an hour hike in the mountain
reserve by my house. It felt good but now I'm at home again feeling
down. I'm so sick and tired of being depressed. It wears my whole
system out. It almost feels like it takes years off of me. Like someone
who smokes or drinks. Maybe it is worse who knows? I just wish
I could have a good mood. I would take a good mood over any amount
of money, success, prestige...I miss the days of old when I was excited
about my life and had hope for the future. Recently, my hope and self esteem seem to have been torn out of my very soul. It is so frustrating to live this way. I know the Lord is there but it is up to Him how long
I must go on like this. The bible says suffering produces perseverance then character then hope. All the suffering I have had in my life should
have built hope beyond measure but it hasn't. I'm not sure what that means. Sigh...Anyway, thanks for listening out there. It's nice to speak with others who actually go through what I go through and not just read about it and give answers.

 

[Jeshu]

It's nice to know I'm not alone in this dark place. I did force myself to
get out today and lift weights. I also did an hour hike in the mountain
reserve by my house. It felt good but now I'm at home again feeling
down. I'm so sick and tired of being depressed. It wears my whole
system out. It almost feels like it takes years off of me. Like someone
who smokes or drinks. Maybe it is worse who knows? I just wish
I could have a good mood. I would take a good mood over any amount
of money, success, prestige...I miss the days of old when I was excited
about my life and had hope for the future. Recently, my hope and self esteem seem to have been torn out of my very soul. It is so frustrating to live this way. I know the Lord is there but it is up to Him how long
I must go on like this. The bible says suffering produces perseverance then character then hope. All the suffering I have had in my life should
have built hope beyond measure but it hasn't. I'm not sure what that means. Sigh...Anyway, thanks for listening out there. It's nice to speak with others who actually go through what I go through and not just read about it and give answers.

Hi battling friend

Yes depression is the pits, I reckon nothing is worse than depression, for all good is robbed and destitute we sit in sackcloth and ashes. Job, from the bible, he was also severely depressed but God got him out at The End.

You can fight depression though! For though you are in pain and feeling isolated good can be grown within our desert. In the bible it states that the deserts will bloom and produce plenty of good things. However such takes time and plenty of endurance though.

For many years now I pray for other sufferers when I'm down low, that is basically all I do when down now, pray for those who are hurting bad for I can feel how much suffering taqes out of me as I'm going right through it. Also sowing love, faith and hope in those hopeless places, especially when God sends blessing rains - faith in the promises of His Word - will make a world of difference.

I'm not saying God always takes depression away, I still get depressed but the real painful drag of it has been overcome planting good things into the times of my depression.


That God bless you with much endurance my friend.

Gerry

Rev 21:5-7

[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Geneva]And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He *said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
[/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Geneva]"He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.
[/FONT]

 

[bomichaels]

My wife convinced me to make an appointment with my PDoc since I'm out of meds. I was able to find some Trileptel and it did lift my mood a bit which has been a nice change. It is a bit of a challenge since I'm in AZ and he is in IL. However, our history dates back more than 10 years and
he is a wonderful doctor. We do phone consultations and he still prescribes me the meds I need. I was thinking of trying Prozac. Has
anyone had success on this med? I also tend to feel better at night.
Does anyone else have a better mood in the evenings?

 

[RoyWM]

Hello,

I'm new to this forum and I'm glad I found it. I moved out to AZ
from Chicago about 6 months ago. I've been badly depressed since
I've been in AZ. My wife is here with me now which is good but
we are both unemployed. I was in HR for the past 6 years but hate
it. I'm trying to change fields with the hope I can hold a job for at least
a year. I've been Bipolar for over 10 years and take meds...I try to
pray in the morning since I have trouble getting out of bed. Everything
just seems so black. I get glimpses of normalcy but for the most part
live in the dark pit.

I would love to get back into personal training but the work is unstable.
I had an interview today for a pest control tech but not sure if I'll get that
job. Honestly, to think of working right now terrifies me to death. Putting on happy face, working with people, trying to do a good job...It seems that stable extroverts have it made in society and even in the church. I'm a guy with bipolar who is quite introverted. I shouldn't feel ashamed of that but sometimes I think people want me to.

I guess I just needed to write that. Thanks and god bless.

Michael

I think I understand what you are going through, but it sounds like you have some control over the situation which is very good.

I have a son who is bi-polar who has attempted suicide nine times in four years. Each time he has stabbed himself in the chest because the depressive thoughts overwhelm him. I have him on seven different medications or around 30 pills a day. He has been hospitalized 14 times (usually 2-4 weeks each) over the past six years. He is unable to work in any job situation.

So as bad as your situation is, remember you are alive and able to function in the real world. My son is not.

 

[bprecovery]

I was of out of work for more than 2 years because of this illness. It was hard to cheer when you can't even support your family. But it passes. Everything passes, and God is there every step of the way. Everything will work out for good.

It seems hard to believe when we suffer too much that God cares. I was mad at God the Father for many years. But that too surley pass and God makes His healing touch come through for you.

God has taught me to make Him the source of my joy in those hard times. But lessons learned can quickly be forgotten. Because, as it is in good days, I fail to make God the source of my joy. But it is meant to be a lesson to be learned every single morning anew.