This is my first time on here.
My focus for today is to reach out to the world of Christians for some support and for guidance.
Let me begin with myself. I am 48 years of age and I've messed my entire life up. I discovered God at a young age but I chose a life of sin. I finally had enough around 2012 where I decided to pick up the bible in jail and once I got out I wanted nothing else but to get baptized. I got baptized on my birthday in 2015. Something was removed from me as a result of my baptism...the spirit of alcoholism. I think something had attached to me and kept me in bondage to my disease. The power it had over me has been broken. I've had several relapses in the past 3 years since my baptism. Life just got too overwhelming with step-daughters who over-whelmed us with the anti-god, anti-love, anti-jesus, no respect for anyone attitudes. I had to walk out and take a breather and things got so rough that I picked up the drink in order to survive. Which was the wrong decision but I've done it for so long that the old thinking always was easiest.
Now just recently, we've taken our home back with force and literally kicked the daughters out for their lack of respect. The home is quiet and peaceful and I have tons of time to myself for writing, contemplation, praying, etc.
Except that I can't get a job. I have no drivers licence. I have a criminal record that is longer than my whole arm. I never finished university. I owe fines to the government that exceed $5000. My school loans from 1992 are defaulted and now the government just takes my tax returns every year. I owe approximately $14,500 for my student loans. My cellphone costs $120.00 per month. My internet bill comes to $110.00 per month. The only calls I receive on my cellphone are calls from credit agencies for all the unpaid bills I've racked up. No job interviews at all.
Luckily I have a strong woman who also got baptized in 2017. She is the main breadwinner in this family and she pays our mortgage, our car payments, our groceries, and all our utilities. Our monthly bills are more than we make together which include my Unemployment Insurance.
Everywhere I look, everywhere I try everything costs money. I need to get my drivers licence but that costs money. I need to get a pardon but that costs money. Now our vehicle has broken down several times and now she's had to get a friend to pick her up to commute an hour away for work. We need help and we're slowly drowning. Our credit ratings have fallen below the 500 mark We may lose our mortgage when it comes time to renew.
No-one wants to hire me because of my criminal record. We both pray to God for help but we always somehow manage to scrape by but that's not really living. I am losing faith. I am losing hope. I thought that by living properly abiding all laws and loving one another and living blameless lives and always doing the right thing we would be rewarded. Something is missing but what?
Now it's your turn. Help.
My focus for today is to reach out to the world of Christians for some support and for guidance.
Let me begin with myself. I am 48 years of age and I've messed my entire life up. I discovered God at a young age but I chose a life of sin. I finally had enough around 2012 where I decided to pick up the bible in jail and once I got out I wanted nothing else but to get baptized. I got baptized on my birthday in 2015. Something was removed from me as a result of my baptism...the spirit of alcoholism. I think something had attached to me and kept me in bondage to my disease. The power it had over me has been broken. I've had several relapses in the past 3 years since my baptism. Life just got too overwhelming with step-daughters who over-whelmed us with the anti-god, anti-love, anti-jesus, no respect for anyone attitudes. I had to walk out and take a breather and things got so rough that I picked up the drink in order to survive. Which was the wrong decision but I've done it for so long that the old thinking always was easiest.
Now just recently, we've taken our home back with force and literally kicked the daughters out for their lack of respect. The home is quiet and peaceful and I have tons of time to myself for writing, contemplation, praying, etc.
Except that I can't get a job. I have no drivers licence. I have a criminal record that is longer than my whole arm. I never finished university. I owe fines to the government that exceed $5000. My school loans from 1992 are defaulted and now the government just takes my tax returns every year. I owe approximately $14,500 for my student loans. My cellphone costs $120.00 per month. My internet bill comes to $110.00 per month. The only calls I receive on my cellphone are calls from credit agencies for all the unpaid bills I've racked up. No job interviews at all.
Luckily I have a strong woman who also got baptized in 2017. She is the main breadwinner in this family and she pays our mortgage, our car payments, our groceries, and all our utilities. Our monthly bills are more than we make together which include my Unemployment Insurance.
Everywhere I look, everywhere I try everything costs money. I need to get my drivers licence but that costs money. I need to get a pardon but that costs money. Now our vehicle has broken down several times and now she's had to get a friend to pick her up to commute an hour away for work. We need help and we're slowly drowning. Our credit ratings have fallen below the 500 mark We may lose our mortgage when it comes time to renew.
No-one wants to hire me because of my criminal record. We both pray to God for help but we always somehow manage to scrape by but that's not really living. I am losing faith. I am losing hope. I thought that by living properly abiding all laws and loving one another and living blameless lives and always doing the right thing we would be rewarded. Something is missing but what?
Now it's your turn. Help.