Hi. I just joined the board today after searching for Christianity forums online. I'm going through a situation that's really making me lose faith in Him and His existence. (The situation is somewhat deep and involves prophecies, confirmations, broken hearts, etc.) Can I PM (private message) someone to talk about it personally? (I left my church home months ago.) If so, reply in this thread.
Thanks in advance.
Trying to hang on to believing He is real.
EDITED WITH STORY:
I'm still nervous about sharing the details, but I'll try to give an overview. Basically, I lost an opportunity last year as a result my sin. I was so devastated that I turned to God for help. Upon reflection, I came to realize that He allowed that situation to occur to a) better show me my sin and b) bring me closer to Him. Since that moment, I found a church home, read the Word daily, joined a Bible Study group, and changed the way I pray (to line up with His will). I also sought Him first in terms of decisions in my life.
Fastforward to this summer, I moved to another city for a few months. Hence, why I no longer had a church home. However, I kept up with reading the Bible and praying. One of my prayers was for God to grant me a similar opportunity as the year before. To do it by October. I eventually stopped praying for it, though, because I felt that God would do it in His time. I didn't want to rush Him.
Well, the opportunity was granted in August, and I immediately asked God if this was sent from Him. (I prayed that He keep counterfeit opportunities out of my path.) I received what I thought were confirmations from Him, that yes, it was from Him. A prophetess even spoke to me months before that the opportunity would present itself before the year's end and that it would be from God. This further strengthened my overall confirmation. The road to establishing this opportunity was rocking, but each time I prayed to God, He would answer showing me that these were merely tests, that I should not be afraid because this opportunity (unlike the last) was in fact for me.
Fastforward to two weeks ago, I committed a sin along the same line as last year's and lost this opportunity. I immediately prayed to God for forgiveness and that He bring it back. The prophetess is at a loss for words. She did warn me that I needed to refrain from this sin. I really, really tried though.
So I'm now at the same place I was last year. I wonder what was the point of seeking God this whole time if I end up back here. I already knew of my weakness in this sin area and sincerely prayed to Him for strength and for Him to remove it. I, of course, tried to do my own part as well. Additionally, I wondered why He would present such an opportunity if He knew I would fail yet again. I sought His direction all along the way, and yet when I falter, the opportunity slips out my hands. I am sincerely confused. Was I misled? Was this yet another opportunity that was not for me? Is He really even there? Is He real? I feel like what's the point in trusting Him if I end up in the same exact misfortune as last year. I really thought this year was a breakthrough.
EDITED PART II:
I also want to add that this sin makes me feel like an awful person and relinquish all desire to have such an opportunity again.
Thanks in advance.
Trying to hang on to believing He is real.
EDITED WITH STORY:
I'm still nervous about sharing the details, but I'll try to give an overview. Basically, I lost an opportunity last year as a result my sin. I was so devastated that I turned to God for help. Upon reflection, I came to realize that He allowed that situation to occur to a) better show me my sin and b) bring me closer to Him. Since that moment, I found a church home, read the Word daily, joined a Bible Study group, and changed the way I pray (to line up with His will). I also sought Him first in terms of decisions in my life.
Fastforward to this summer, I moved to another city for a few months. Hence, why I no longer had a church home. However, I kept up with reading the Bible and praying. One of my prayers was for God to grant me a similar opportunity as the year before. To do it by October. I eventually stopped praying for it, though, because I felt that God would do it in His time. I didn't want to rush Him.
Well, the opportunity was granted in August, and I immediately asked God if this was sent from Him. (I prayed that He keep counterfeit opportunities out of my path.) I received what I thought were confirmations from Him, that yes, it was from Him. A prophetess even spoke to me months before that the opportunity would present itself before the year's end and that it would be from God. This further strengthened my overall confirmation. The road to establishing this opportunity was rocking, but each time I prayed to God, He would answer showing me that these were merely tests, that I should not be afraid because this opportunity (unlike the last) was in fact for me.
Fastforward to two weeks ago, I committed a sin along the same line as last year's and lost this opportunity. I immediately prayed to God for forgiveness and that He bring it back. The prophetess is at a loss for words. She did warn me that I needed to refrain from this sin. I really, really tried though.
So I'm now at the same place I was last year. I wonder what was the point of seeking God this whole time if I end up back here. I already knew of my weakness in this sin area and sincerely prayed to Him for strength and for Him to remove it. I, of course, tried to do my own part as well. Additionally, I wondered why He would present such an opportunity if He knew I would fail yet again. I sought His direction all along the way, and yet when I falter, the opportunity slips out my hands. I am sincerely confused. Was I misled? Was this yet another opportunity that was not for me? Is He really even there? Is He real? I feel like what's the point in trusting Him if I end up in the same exact misfortune as last year. I really thought this year was a breakthrough.
EDITED PART II:
I also want to add that this sin makes me feel like an awful person and relinquish all desire to have such an opportunity again.
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