looking for advice

[stillerfan]

Hi everyone,

I am still fairly new here, but i was looking through some of the older posts (back to October), and realized that TAW seems to be very close knit. Anyway, I am looking for guidance on an issue that I am having (well, a few actually)....

For one, I recently had a very bitter break-up with my ex-g/f (long story--not important). And now, I am wondering as to whether or not I should continue to try to find my soulmate, or go a different route (seminary???)...I am only 23, but it seems like the dating scene never works out for me. I'll be in a relationship for 1-2 years, and then, by the time that you're starting to make long-term plans, everything falls apart. I am getting very disheartened about this, and was wondering what would be the best route to go towards? Should I try to go to seminary? Or keep trying to find "the one"? I know that I haven't told you exactly what I am looking for and all, but if you need more info, please PM me....

Another reason that I am beginning to lean to a more active role in the church (preisthood?) is that I was born and raised Orthodox, and, as I have gotten older, enjoyed to go to church more and more. My priest pretty much ordered me to get up into the choir about 8 years ago, and have been there ever since. All of the services fascinate me to one degree or another. I especially enjoy Great Lent and Pascha, with all of the minor tones in Lent, and the joyfullness of The Resurrection.

I do have other things that I would like to bring up, but only over time....

Thanks everybody! Hope to hear from yinz soon....

in IC XC,
Josh

 

[gzt]

I don't see why going to seminary necessarily conflicts with trying to find a wife, especially since people are generally expected to be married priests. Other than that, I'm far too young to offer any advice about anything.

 

[stillerfan]

well, i'm not exactly an old-timer either....

 

[stillerfan]

and btw, who gave me rep points? i had 10 last night....thx to whomever!

 

[Orthosdoxa]

Josh,

You're a bit too young to be giving up, my friend. I didn't find my soulmate until I was 27. My priest didn't find his until he was 35 (and that was only after he went weeping to the Bishop, asking for help in finding someone, because he'd been putting off ordination for that reason alone! And the bishop did indeed fix him up with someone, and they got married a year or so later!)

I say, why can't you have both? If you feel called to be a priest, then by all means, start seminary, and keep your eyes peeled in the meantime. And if you have to do what Fr. Michael did (put off ordination while you're looking), then that's okay, too. There ARE single guys at seminary who intend on being married priests. Frederica Mathewes-Green even advises ladies who are single and looking, to hang out in the coffee shop across the street from St. Vlad's reading "Then Lenten Triodion", promising she'll be surrounded by a gaggle of wonderful pious single Orthodox men in no time!

Man, it's too bad I somehow can't get all these single and looking people I know together! I know several young guys (like you) who are looking, and several women my age (or a tad older) who are looking, but unfortunately, that doesn't always mesh well, with that much age difference. (Though, I married a man three years younger and am ecstatically happily married, so I'm all for the older woman/younger guy bit. ) I know a gal in my town who goes to the Greek parish who is just delightful. She's 35, very cute, blond, with a successful career, but what she really wants is to be a wife and mom. She was married for a brief time, a long time ago, long before she was ever a Christian, and unfortunately, that chases some guys away.

Ah well. Point is, I say you can have BOTH!

LK

 

[Theophorus]

I do not see either as mutually exclusive as gzt said. Go to seminary and see what happens in the other department. Besides, women like a man in uniform.

 

[Michael G]

Josh,
Please be careful with the idea of going to seminary. Perhaps you have read my conversion story in the conversion stories thread, but I did go to Roman Catholic seminary after a bitter break up with a girlfriend in college and it was probably the wrong thing for me to do at the time. I would only choose the option of seminary after much deep prayer and contemplation and with much guidance from a priest. I had the option to go to Orthodox seminary 2 years ago but turned it down, and again that was the right call. I pray God will guide you and if you have any questions you are free to pm me and discuss these matters.
Peace,
Michael

PS. GO STILLERS!

 

[stillerfan]

Michael,

Are you from Pittsburgh, btw?

 

[Michael G]

Josh,
My parents are from the Burgh, and I have lived 3 years there, but I grew up in Cleveland (the mistake on the lake). I have been a Steelers fan since childhood and have my picture taken with many of the Steelers greats from the 70's!
Michael

 

[Julio]

"I've often thought that if I were a young woman looking for a husband, I'd get an apartment near an Orthodox seminary and all those bride-hunting men. I'd hang out in the local coffee shop reading the Lenten Triodion." Frederica Mathewes-Green, Facing East, page 160


Hey Josh!

To complete what Anonykat has said about the suggestion in Frederica's book, I want to share with you my master plan:

1) Choose an Orthodox seminary town and find the local coffee shop, where there will be at least one girl hanging out, sipping coffee and reading the Lenten Triodion, as Mama Fred suggested.

2) Come in wearing your custom made t-shirt [front: "I LOVE MAMA FRED!" back: "I read Facing East, page 160, too"] and with a copy of the Pentecostarion in your hands.

3) Find the girl and sit next to her. Explain to her that, before the press was invented, the Triodion and the Pentecostarion were actually written in a single scroll, and so, each of you is holding half of what is really a single book. Mention how appropriate that is as an image of marriage.

4) Watch her melt, and ask for a date. Beware: she might want it to be the Betrothal Service!

And hey, if you want to road trip to an Orthodox seminary town to carry out this FOOL PROOF plan, let me know and we'll split costs!

 

[Michael G]

"I've often thought that if I were a young woman looking for a husband, I'd get an apartment near an Orthodox seminary and all those bride-hunting men. I'd hang out in the local coffee shop reading the Lenten Triodion." Frederica Mathewes-Green, Facing East, page 160

That is hysterical, as when I met Matrona at a Coffee Shop in South Carolina she had the book "Contemporary Ascetics of Mount Athos" in her hands.

 

[Julio]

You see?! It works! IT WORKS!

 

[Michael G]

You see?! It works! IT WORKS!

Matrona and I had been talking on here for a month when we met in South Carolina. I arranged to meet her when I went on vacation, she just used the book as a sign to me that it was really her so that I knew who to say hi to.

 

[Julio]

Well, I did figure it had to be an arranged meeting, but the larger point stands: Frederica is infallible and the system she thought up actually works.

 

[Photini]

...she had the book "Contemporary Ascetics of Mount Athos" in her hands.

Those books are AWESOME.

 

[Julio]

Those books are AWESOME.

Aren't they, though? A while back I cleaned out the Narrow Path Bookstore (Lansing, IL) of all their copies. Well, there were some happy priests, faithful and catechumens here in Puerto Rico!

Hmm. Maybe I can rework my FOOL PROOF MASTER PLAN (tm) to use that series rather than the Triodion/Pentecostarion -- although, I must admit, those two are just the perfect books to use!

 

[Grand_Duchess-Elizaveta]

"I've often thought that if I were a young woman looking for a husband, I'd get an apartment near an Orthodox seminary and all those bride-hunting men. I'd hang out in the local coffee shop reading the Lenten Triodion." Frederica Mathewes-Green, Facing East, page 160


Hey Josh!

To complete what Anonykat has said about the suggestion in Frederica's book, I want to share with you my master plan:

1) Choose an Orthodox seminary town and find the local coffee shop, where there will be at least one girl hanging out, sipping coffee and reading the Lenten Triodion, as Mama Fred suggested.

2) Come in wearing your custom made t-shirt [front: "I LOVE MAMA FRED!" back: "I read Facing East, page 160, too"] and with a copy of the Pentecostarion in your hands.

3) Find the girl and sit next to her. Explain to her that, before the press was invented, the Triodion and the Pentecostarion were actually written in a single scroll, and so, each of you is holding half of what is really a single book. Mention how appropriate that is as an image of marriage.

4) Watch her melt, and ask for a date. Beware: she might want it to be the Betrothal Service!

And hey, if you want to road trip to an Orthodox seminary town to carry out this FOOL PROOF plan, let me know and we'll split costs!

[Giant rolling eyes smilie]
Here's my plan. This is for women who are poor and can't afford to move accross the street from a seminary, and don't live near one:

1. Pack up your tent and camping gear.
2. Pitch tent the closest to the property line of the seminary (but not on it, as you may get escorted off...).
3. Wonder around dressed in street clothes saying "Make pancakes!", this way you will be labeled a Fool for Christ's Sake and your tent digs will be viewed as some sort of act of piety (instead of an act of crazy desperation).
4. Approach the first nice looking seminary student and say that God has revealed to you that he is indeed the one whom you are suppose to marry (Fool's for Christ's Sake saints were often clairvoyant).

Sorry, I know this was for women......maybe it can be addapted somehow for men?

 

[Michael G]

[Giant rolling eyes smilie]
Here's my plan. This is for women who are poor and can't afford to move accross the street from a seminary, and don't live near one:

1. Pack up your tent and camping gear.
2. Pitch tent the closest to the property line of the seminary (but not on it, as you may get escorted off...).
3. Wonder around dressed in street clothes saying "Make pancakes!", this way you will be labeled a Fool for Christ's Sake and your tent digs will be viewed as some sort of act of piety (instead of an act of crazy desperation).
4. Approach the first nice looking seminary student and say that God has revealed to you that he is indeed the one whom you are suppose to marry (Fool's for Christ's Sake saints were often clairvoyant).

Sorry, I know this was for women......maybe it can be addapted somehow for men?

Or, maybe you could just have a Little Orthodox Warrior stumble into your life at the absolute lowest point of it and have him/her be your friend through the thick of it and in the process end up falling in love with each other?

 

[Julio]

[Giant rolling eyes smilie]

You're just jealous because my plan is perfect.

Here's my plan. This is for women who are poor and can't afford to move accross the street from a seminary, and don't live near one:

But you don't have to move across a seminary! I mean, if you wanted to, you could just road trip there for a while, especially around May, when all the senior bride-hunting men are really hunting.

Sorry, I know this was for women......maybe it can be adapted somehow for men?

See? That's the great failure of your plan; it's only for one gender. Mine is a workable option for both.

 

[Michael G]

See? That's the great failure of your plan; it's only for one gender. Mine is a workable option for both.

I personally think the plan of Matrona and me is perfect because neither of us was really looking for each other when we found each other!