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Long distance relationship

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Silver Speak

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Daniel_Standish said:
First off, I don't know what your problem is...there is no problem with our parents. Where did you get that from? Her parents do not approve of a relationship with anyone at this time...but they have absolutely nothing against me. Her dad actually likes me and thinks I am an awesome guy. He wants to go wake boarding with me. He wants to take me to baseball games and such. So I don't know where you got the idea that they are against me. They just do not want Marissa to have any kind of relationship with anyone because of what happened to her in her last relationship. They are afraid that she will meet the same heartbreak with me, that she did with her ex. They do not want her in that pain again. I absolutely cannot argue with that...and I totally understand. Is that going to terminate my passionate love for Marissa? No. Am I going to just leave her? No. I am not going to just "be her friend" because I have plenty of friends...just being a friend says nothing. I didn't come into this looking for a friend. I wanted someone I could love and show my love to. God brought Marissa into my life - a girl that deeply loves me and wants to show me her love in everything she does. She lives for me. And I know she would die for me. Her parents are but two people. I respect how they feel towards me and her. And I respect their motives behind their disapproval of a relationship. But they need to let their 17-year-old daughter try her wings. They need to learn to start letting go. I seriously do not think her parents realize that Marissa is almost 18. I seriously do not think they realize that. They always treat her like a baby and tell her how immature she is. She takes care of her entire household. She does the entire family's laundry. She picks up after all her siblings - only for her mom to come home and yell at her for missing something or "Why didn't you do this while I was gone?" and such. Her mother is never happy with anything she ever does. And I realize that she is a very busy woman trying to take care of 5 kids. But she always complains about her workload. I don't understand. If you are going to have 5 children...you need to be prepared for the resonsibility that comes with having a large family. Her mother is not. She hates her life...she hates her kids. She hates the fact that her house is never clean. I have never seen her sit on the couch all the many times I have been over at their house. She is always doing something. And I have never seen her smile. I have never heard her compliment, or encourage. I have never even seen her happy. I have told my pastor this information...and he says that it sounds to him as if Marissa's parents need counseling. I asked him what I can do in this situation...and he said that there is nothing I can do...that I am doing all I can. I really love this girl...and I want the world to know that nothing will end or hinder my love for her. Nothing will slow it down or end it. Jesus came to this earth and the earth wanted to end His love. They criticized anything and everything they could about Him. But nothing in this world could possibly terminate or even hinder His love. Nothing in this world can possibly terminate or hinder my love for Marissa. I do not know why everyone on this website seems to have a problem with this. Yes I know I am young. But you know what? The Almighty brought Marissa into my life now. He did not bring her into my life four years from now. He brought her into my life now...when I am 16 years old. He did this because He wanted us to struggle through these tough times together...so that when we do get married...our relationship will be so incredibly strong. If nothing can separate us now...nothing will be able to separate us then. I love Marissa. Nothing will ever change that. I am sorry you do not approve of my love...but then, I am not asking you to. I was just looking for help...but I guess that was my mistake. Nevermind me...I don't want to hear anymore of your "help". All you do is make me feel lower than dirt. Thanks for those of you that helped me. I'm sorry that I do not make everyone happy. I am sorry I cannot have everyone in my favor. I am a failure.
Calm down. There's no reason to get upset. No-one was being hostile but you. If you ask help, you can expect people possibly telling you things you don't want to hear. Maturity is partly about being able to take advice from others, looking at something from different perspectives, seeing the big picture -even making decisions that do not always please you.

I'm not telling you you need to break up with your gilrfriend, no. You truly seem to care about her and that's great. I believe people here tried to keep you from getting hurt. The cold fact is, when you're young you might not know what true love really means and you enter a committed relationship when you're not ready... and end up heartbroken. I wouldn't even talk about marriage in your age...

I'm not saying I'm that much older and 'wiser' but I can tell I'm a lot different now than I was when I was 15/16! I thank God for not entering a relationship with someone who I thought I was 'in love' with 'cause I had no idea what love means and I also know me and that person have changed so much that it wouldn't work now. I really doubt it would've worked that time either. I was really, really, really immature and I still am in some ways! I didn't understand the difference between infatuation and love. I refused to believe love is not a mushy feeling.

I'm just saying this in general, not talking about you -I don't know you and can't tell you what to do.

However, I believe a serious, working, happy relationship requires maturity. You have to be able to deal with difficult issues at times... As I told you, I'm not here to tell you what to do but I just wanted to help you understand people's concern. I wish I had listened to others' advice when I was younger; I wouldn't have done the stupid things I did. I wish I had understood that my parents wanted my best when they were telling me what to do!

I wish you all the best in your relationship with your girlfriend! I really hope it will last :angel: God bless you and her! Sorry to hear things are so bad with your girlfriend; I hope things will improve! :pray:

Leena

P.S. Please, do not compare your love to Jesus' 'cause it cannot compare... I would say this to anyone.
 
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Daniel_Standish

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Silver Speak said:
Calm down. There's no reason to get upset. No-one was being hostile but you. If you ask help, you can expect people possibly telling you things you don't want to hear.

Calm down? I find it so interesting and amusing that I am not at all being worked up here. I am not angry, I am not worrying, I was just asking for help? My goodness...you guys take everything in the wrong context! I was totally happy and content when I wrote that post! And then you tell me to calm down. Wow.

Silver Speak said:
Maturity is partly about being able to take advice from others, looking at something from different perspectives, seeing the big picture -even making decisions that do not always please you.

Wow. Did you totally not hear it when I said that I am being completely open minded about this? I am totally open to everyone's ideas...even if I don't agree with them. I still want to hear them. It is good for me to hear everyone's different opinions and viewpoints.

Silver Speak said:
The cold fact is, when you're young you might not know what true love really means and you enter a committed relationship when you're not ready... and end up heartbroken. I wouldn't even talk about marriage in your age...

The key word there is "might". No, I might not know what true love is...but then maybe I do. But everyone automatically assumes that I do not...because I am 16. And I am sorry if I want to actually have something to look forward to...but I talk about marriage with her all the time. I know that I cannot try to start planning things or anything...and I am not...but I can still fantasize about it. I can still imagine us getting married. My goodness...you make it sound like I'm going out and making wedding preparations right now or something. I merely mentioned that I would really like to marry her...and I will do all in my power to make that dream come true. God is still in control...and I am totally willing to realize that anything can still happen. I am not in control...He is. He brought me into this...I have faith in Him to bring me through it to whatever end He has planned.

Silver Speak said:
I'm not saying I'm that much older and 'wiser' but I can tell I'm a lot different now than I was when I was 15/16! I thank God for not entering a relationship with someone who I thought I was 'in love' with 'cause I had no idea what love means and I also know me and that person have changed so much that it wouldn't work now. I really doubt it would've worked that time either. I was really, really, really immature and I still am in some ways! I didn't understand the difference between infatuation and love. I refused to believe love is not a mushy feeling.

Hmm. So you must be single. I love the way you are "educating" me about love...when you are single yourself. I love the way you are telling me how you "wouldn't do this" or you "wouldn't do that" when in reality...who's to say that you know what true love is...seeing how you are single.

Silver Speak said:
Sorry to hear things are so bad with your girlfriend; I hope things will improve! :pray:

Things are bad? Nothing is bad! That is what you all don't get! I am perfectly happy! I am not complaining...I was interested in your opinion. I am not complaining about my situation! God put me here because He knows that I can handle this situation...and I am honored to have God test my faith in Him. This is nothing I cannot handle...nothing I am not completely happy with. I love it actually. I love Marissa. There is nothing in this world that can bring me down.

Silver Speak said:
P.S. Please, do not compare your love to Jesus' 'cause it cannot compare... I would say this to anyone.

Wow. Christian = Christ-follower. I am sorry if I compare myself to Jesus...but He is my hero...and I look up to Him. He is who I try to be everyday. I am sorry if I am trying to have the same love for Marissa that He has for me. My bad. I'll stop caring. I'll stop loving. Because you people are never happy. Marissa loves me. Jesus loves me. Why can't Christians on a Christian website love me? Why does it seem like everyone has an opposite opinion than I do? It's fine with me...it's just a little discouraging. I came here for peoples' opinions. And I got them. It is just a little depressing when every single opinion is against mine. Not a single person yet has posted to this thread in support of me. Everyone has some kind of dissaproval of my relationship with Marissa. I am not complaining. This is just what I am feeling.
 
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Silver Speak

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You pretty much misunderstood everything I said.

I hope you know your tone was very mean and hurtful. I only tried to help you see where people's concern is coming from and as I said, I don't mean it personally. AND as I said, I'm not here to tell you what to do.

When I said things are 'bad' with your girlfriend I was talking about the problems she has with her family.

You said "What's your problem?" and I think that sounds like an angry tone to me... I don't really understand why you want to shoot me down when I try to help.

Oh, and I never said I'm single. I only said I'm not with that particular guy. I wasn't trying to 'educate' you, I just wanted to show where my views are coming from. I never said it applies to you.

I wish you could act a bit more lovingly and in a more respecful way to other people but your girlfriend as well. THAT is what being Christ-like is. Love is patient and kind. Instead, you're talking down on me and making me feel bad.

No-one here is against you. They act lovingly by being protective. They just told you what you don't want to hear. I was trying to support you but you took it the wrong way.

God bless.
 
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Daniel_Standish

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I am sorry...I am sorry I cannot be perfect. I am sorry you all think I am immature. I am sorry no one on this website sees anything from my point of view. I am sorry for everything. Just don't bother with me. I am lost. I am sorry I am not perfect. I am sorry you think I am weak. I am sorry for everything. I give up.
 
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