Loneliness...

[ahmunmun]

To JS Guitarist, to be honest, I am not quite happy about the part where you said you could probably guarantee that I wouldn't marry my first boyfriend. I know you just don't want to set me up for disappointment, but there's no reason to base your prediction on how things work for most other people. I'll tell you now that I wouldn't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out, so there's no need to shatter my dream before we find out if it would be fulfilled. The truth is, everybody who knows me says that I know what I want more than people who have experience in dating. You don't need to date to find out what you want. You can ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in making your choices. I know the Holy Spirit will allow people to learn through "trial and error" so to speak, but as for me, I am praying that He will help me make the right choice the first time. The reason is that I don't want to give any part of me (not even a cuddle or a peck) to a guy who isn't going to be my husband later. If I have my future husband's best interest in mind and if I delight in the Lord myself, I don't see why He wouldn't give me the desires of my heart (unless if what I desire is wrong, but I don't see it that way).

This goes for everybody too. Please do not try to predict my future. It is not fair to assume that just because you didn't marry your first SO, that I wouldn't. The truth is that it is too early to say so let it be.

By the way, my parents were each other's very first SO and they are still married today. Same goes for many couples in my church who were married recently. If it's God's will, it will happen no matter what people say.

 

[ahmunmun]

Well you don't have to be lonely. Try this on a Saturdayafternoon, fix yourself up and make yourself look really cute, and then head to Barnes and Noble or Borders books, and then watch the lads gravitate towards you.

I think that would just put me to temptation. I said in my OP that I'm trying to stop doing things to purposely get guys' attention when I don't even like them.

 

[ahmunmun]

Just whatever the moment calls for I suppose. Cuddles, nice long hugs, etc. Not often, though, do those moments come. Hasn't been any hand-holding though, not for a long while. I should say that he and I kinda have a "thing" for each other anyway; the possibility and the desire for us to be an official "us" has definitely been presented more than once, but it wouldn't be wise for us to have a real relationship for reasons I won't state. Still, that's probably why we're willing to share those dire, desperate, lonely moments with each other instead of no one at all because there's more comfort from someone you've known awhile.

As I said, though, it's risky business because then emotions want to get involved, especially mine. I have difficulty being physically affectionate with someone I forbid myself from connecting with emotionally as well, so yeah. Tough. Ironic, really, that those moments can be nice and yet such a tease at the same time. That's exactly why I don't really condone it. It helps, but hurts. Hurts, but helps. Don't even know if I'm making sense now since I'm very sleepy at the moment.

*yawn*

Hi lunalinda, nice seeing you on CF again. Not sure if you remember me but you used to cheer me up with your interesting rambling. If I may ask, so you two are attracted to each other?

You know, sometimes I get tempted to do what you two are doing, just because it seems like a temporary solution to loneliness. I still think though, that it could lead to long term consequences. Do things ever get complicated between the two of you because there are obligations arising from it like a real relationship? Also, what would happen if one of you likes someone else? Would you two have to "break up"?

 

[JonMiller]

Personally, I can understand being close to someone and having it not turn to sex/relationship. That is how I am with some of my male friends. If they were the right sex though, I have a hard time seeing why it wouldn't become romantic?

I have never been in a relationship, maybe I am missing a crucial point.

JM

 

[ahmunmun]

I respect that you have high standards, but if it goes to the degree that it makes you depressed or feel lonely on occasional basis, i think it's time to do something about it. Feeling depressed is God's way of telling you to change something about your life, just like the bad feeling of guilt you get when you've done something morally wrong !

Firstly, I'm not depressed, but sometimes impatient that my needs haven't been fulfilled yet. I don't think I can really say that God is telling me to change something about my life. Perhaps He wants me to continue to have this desire for someone so that He could fulfill it and then I could glorify Him! I've prayed to God that if He has a plan to make me a lifelong celibate, that He would take away my desire for companionship. One answer I've received from God is that He has someone for me. I've received two confirmations from other people as well.

I think what I look for in a man is very reasonable so I highly doubt I would change those standards.

 

[hitmantlp]

i have had past girlfriends before...but i was never ready to settle..and now sometimes i feel i missed an opportunity...but i am glad also because i know they weren't right for me....i do hope i can find one soon bc i feel a lot of times that i am getting older...i will be 30 this next year and i guess its another chapter of my life i feel about to be gone forever...my twenties...i don't know many people looking for someone in their 30s...i guess thats my main fear...i dont want to die without every having started a family of my own...and hear someone call me dad and tell me they love me...well i guess we can all just pray for one another.....

 

[JSGuitarist]

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