Loneliness

[TheDatelessLoserX2]

I've come to a new low in my life. I feel like I am totally alone, and don't know how to fight it. I don't get any time at work, and I am a bum for most of the week. I haven't been in school for a semester either so that doesn't help. My church 20's group (I am 20 almost 21) keeps shrinking week by week (its down to about 4 regulars), because most of the folks that used to be in it are going to other churches, or getting married (and I'm the single dateless loser of course). Most of my good friends have also moved to other churches as well. I don't get out much, and when I do, it is usually in a third wheel situation (one of my friends, their significant other, and me) which is sorta ok, but still kinda bites. My relationship with God has suffered. I don't pray hardly anymore, and while I still go to church (its my only social circle) It just doesn't mean much anymore, its more like "playing church". I feel fake. I think God wants me to be a music minister, but eveyone is against it (mainly for financial reasons) and I'm scared to death that that is what I am supposed to do, because it requires so much more faith than I think I have (its costly,low paying, and requires skills I haven't fully developed). I am also slipping into old bad habits. I just feel so alone. I know God is faithful to those who ask of him, but I feel like I can't talk to him because I've backslidden. And the thing I am afraid of the most is being alone (and single) for the rest of my life. I still have my family, but they are in another galaxy compared to where I am, and especially since my sister is sorta the favorite (they never question her career choices, but they do mine). Help me.

 

[rockwell]

I know I’m a guy and boys don’t cry but when I read your post I nearly did cry because I could see myself (only months ago) in your lines just like in front of a mirror. There’s been times in my life when I have felt lonely, that I am worthless, that no-one cares for me. My relationship with God (not that long ago) decreased dramatically. I felt dirty, I did not want to pray, I did not want to sing or read my Bible. I felt like the whole world was collapsing around me and no-one was there to comfort me. Although I am guy I am a pretty emotional person. I need my family and friends to show me their love and care.
I lived the last 7 or so years of my life believing that a girlfriend was going to bring total joy to my life and fulfil that emptiness. But as you may well know the feeling of emptiness can only be filled with God.

Anyways long-story-short I had some kind of spoken word from above :
“Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me and I will listen to you. and you will seek Me and you will find Me when you search Me with all your heart”

I know how bad the devil will stab you when you are far from God because I have been there but I believe God is saying to you “come back to Me” God wants your everything my friend. He wants your heart, your soul, your thoughts, your problems and your worries. Give yourself entirely to the Lord and He will honour you…

Anyways after I had all those problems in my life I decided to turn to God, I started praying and seeking His presence on a constant basis. Seek The Lord and You WILL find Him. He has promised you that so believe it and get started. Well that’s the best advice I can give you because it worked for me.

.I feel fake. I think God wants me to be a music minister, but eveyone is against it (mainly for financial reasons) and I'm scared to death that that is what I am supposed to do, because it requires so much more faith than I think I have (its costly,low paying, and requires skills I haven't fully developed)….. I am also slipping into old bad habits. I just feel so alone. I know God is faithful to those who ask of him, but I feel like I can't talk to him because I've backslidden. And the thing I am afraid of the most is being alone (and single) for the rest of my life….

Don’t let other people determine your future. Do God’s will and believe in what He has placed in your heart. I’m afraid your faith is being tested. Try to pray and fast as much as you can. And remember that God picked your wife way before you were even born. He knows where you are going to be in 10 and 50 years. He can see your great-great children so don’t let the enemy lie to you, if you want a wife, pray for her and believe in God’s promises.

God bless you

 

[Rafael]

Whereever you are in your walk with God, He hasn't left you. You need to refocus on Him and His love for you by giving you life which has great meaning to Him. If you seek first the Kingdom of God, all the other things in life will fall into place, but if you are running after the world, you have plenty to pray about.
We all sin, and that is part of why we talk to God in prayer - recognizing our weaknesses, admitting them to God in prayerful petition, and seeking His help to grow each day in His grace. You don't have to be fearful of God if you just go to Him in hunesty as His beloved child. NEVER forget your "first love", Jesus. He is number one in your life, and other concerns should come in behind Him. He will help you in all these things, and give you the perfect task and burden specifically fitted for you if you remain faithful, believing in Him. The right things will come for you in life if you will be patient.


Matthew 6:But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

1John 2:15 Stop loving this evil world and all that it offers you, for when you love the world, you show that you do not have the love of the Father in you.
16 For the world offers only the lust for physical pleasure, the lust for everything we see, and pride in our possessions. These are not from the Father. They are from this evil world.
17 And this world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever.

Matthew 11:28 Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light."

 

[rogsr]

Hello my friend,
You seem to be in a spot where most of us have spent some time. It is probably the worst of times for you but it is also the most important. It's in these rare times that you are totally alone that you can be totally alone with God. I once spent months almost totally alone and in solitude very similar to how you are now, but it was in that time that I made the greatest spiritual growth I had ever made, that sure didn't make me feel any better at the time though If I could make a few suggestions from my own personal expierience: Read Job in the OT(he was alone and going through rough times and made it through), Read your favorite gospel start to finish(this will help you get back into touch with who you are), Find a homeless shelter or soup kitchen or somewhere to volunteer some time(this will help you strengthen your resolve and bring you close to Jesus agian because you will be working with Him on a project), Make a list of all the things that you are(this will help you to turn inward and begin to focus on your calling), do this several times looking deeper into yourself each time(I start my list out with "I am a self-conscious living being" and I finish with "I am a regretfully weak sinner). There is no backsliding when you are already in the palm of God's hand, only periodic moments of adversity. If you do complete some of the things that I've listed you will be just fine. Take it easy and I pray that God's blessing be with, and remain with you.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You're not alone. You've got us.

20 is difficult. Just never give up.

 

[TheDatelessLoserX2]

This is really kind of strange for me, I am usually the carefree sorta person, where hardly anything bothers me, but as of late everything seems to be getting to me, even little insignifigant things that shouldn't. And its been this way all semester so its starting to sink in. I am also one of those people who has a hard time talking to God unless I have a clear concience, because I feel so convicted of my wrongs. I know that that is not biblically true, that you have to be perfect to talk to God (otherwise we wouldn't be able to at all) but I have a hard time convincing myself of it. As for the single thing, it is so hard to constantly hear "wait for my timing" when 50%percent of your friends are getting married, and the other 50% have signifigant others and those that don't fall into either category, which is all of 2 people, one goes to another church, and another is a girl (a friend of mine that indirectly shot me down). I know my faith is being tested, its just that it seems like this requires more faith than I have.

 

[Lilly of the Valley]

Ask the Lord to strengthen your faith. He cares what you're going through. Also, try to stay in the word and continue to pray. Having a close relationship w/ the Lord can really help.

 

[Bartimaeus]

I've come to a new low in my life. I feel like I am totally alone, and don't know how to fight it. I don't get any time at work, and I am a bum for most of the week. I haven't been in school for a semester either so that doesn't help. My church 20's group (I am 20 almost 21) keeps shrinking week by week (its down to about 4 regulars), because most of the folks that used to be in it are going to other churches, or getting married (and I'm the single dateless loser of course). Most of my good friends have also moved to other churches as well. I don't get out much, and when I do, it is usually in a third wheel situation (one of my friends, their significant other, and me) which is sorta ok, but still kinda bites. My relationship with God has suffered. I don't pray hardly anymore, and while I still go to church (its my only social circle) It just doesn't mean much anymore, its more like "playing church". I feel fake. I think God wants me to be a music minister, but eveyone is against it (mainly for financial reasons) and I'm scared to death that that is what I am supposed to do, because it requires so much more faith than I think I have (its costly,low paying, and requires skills I haven't fully developed). I am also slipping into old bad habits. I just feel so alone. I know God is faithful to those who ask of him, but I feel like I can't talk to him because I've backslidden. And the thing I am afraid of the most is being alone (and single) for the rest of my life. I still have my family, but they are in another galaxy compared to where I am, and especially since my sister is sorta the favorite (they never question her career choices, but they do mine). Help me.

Believe me, no matter how far you feel you've back slidden, there's always enough grace, and you can always talk to God. In fact, He actually wants you to, back slidden or not.

You can never make God so mad at you He is suddenly going to say, "Dude, that's it. I have had it. I just ain't talking to you any more!" You know what I mean?

 

[Crofter]

Don't worry... this is normal.

As youth we are used to being in a large community all our lives so find as we go out into the big wide world there is no community... and this is not natural for us and is difficult to adjust to... but we get there in the end so in a little time you will feel better.

 

[rainbowprism]

I hope you don't mind but I am going to pray for you....

Heavenly Father, thank You for all that You do and all that You are. I pray Lord that You will show this young man the amount of love that he has in his life. Lord, I ask for You to show him reassurance, that even though he may have walked away from You in the past You are still standing where he left You -with Your arms wide open. I pray Lord, that he will be able to recommit himself to You, knowing that the pain and lonliness he has felt is because he has been away from Your will. Lord, I believe he still feels You whispering in his ear, please give him the discernment and courage to know Your plans for him and that by following You he will be pleasing you. Lord, the most important relationship in anyones life is the one they have with You...please save Your sheep who has wandered off and bless him with Your love. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

 

[Bartimaeus]

prayer: Amen!

 

[desi]

TDLX2 please change your sig as it is cruel to yourself and not what a kind God would expect of one of his people to name himself. If you lack a clear conscience when talking to God you may want to repent and speak with God right afterwards when your soul is clean. Trusting in God when all else fails is when God is most active as it is usually after these times when God rises us from the ashes like the phoenix, or Job. If you feel God leading you to do something others discourage trust wholeheartedly in God, especially if money is the overiding concern. I am 28, married with 5 children, a veteran of the Marine Corps, and most recently earned a doctorate not more than a week ago. Many times people have questioned my choices, and many times I have considered their input. I can honestly say that without exception moving on and trusting in God has brought me beyond where I should have gone according to what others have said. Such people were not malicious in their opinions so much as ignorant of God's will in my life as I understood it. So, march on and I will pray for God to dissuade you from sin so that you may walk upright in his presence and he will ease your burden.