• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Karen1959

Legend
Jun 6, 2007
19,338
2,909
66
Illinois
✟55,188.00
Faith
Methodist
Marital Status
In Relationship
She could give Match.com a try...I'm not sure how much luck people have with online dating sites...I know that there are some people that have had great success...she doesn't really have anything to lose by giving it a try unless you feel there is a reason she shouldn't do it...

Is she involved in church? Does she have some close girlfriends that she hangs out with? What does she do to fill her time?
no.......she doesn't go to church and she's hanging around bars and all the wrong people. She just is doing all the wrong things. I've tried to tell her over and over to join a church singles group. I wish she would.
 
Upvote 0

dluvs2trvl

What You See Is What You Get!
Nov 9, 2006
29,104
2,092
Washington
✟61,536.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
no.......she doesn't go to church and she's hanging around bars and all the wrong people. She just is doing all the wrong things. I've tried to tell her over and over to join a church singles group. I wish she would.
Is she an older sister or younger sister?

I know how hard it is when you are feeling lonely and just want some companionship and attention...but she does need to understand that she is looking for it in all the wrong places...

I will keep her in my prayers! :pray:
 
Upvote 0

dluvs2trvl

What You See Is What You Get!
Nov 9, 2006
29,104
2,092
Washington
✟61,536.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
I just thought about being lonely and why people are lonely. And I think that in most cases, it's a choice. You don't have to be lonely if you don't want to be. Just get out and do something, meet people. Just my opinion.
I do think there is a difference between being lonely because you aren't around a lot of people and being lonely because you desire a relationship and aren't in one...

You can also be surrounded by people and still feel lonely...
 
Upvote 0

Keri

Well-Known Member
Jan 1, 2006
21,131
4,245
✟66,913.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
I do think there is a difference between being lonely because you aren't around a lot of people and being lonely because you desire a relationship and aren't in one...

You can also be surrounded by people and still feel lonely...
Very true...
 
Upvote 0

PeculiarTreasure

Mishief Mangaged
Feb 3, 2007
14,006
1,426
South Carolina
✟42,848.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
Hey everyone! :wave: I have a prayer request for you all if you don't mind. Grouplink is tomorrow at my church. The event where bible study groups are formed. Just pray that all goes well and that I end up with a group of Godly ladies that I can relate to and be myself around. Thanks! I love you all so much!:hug: :hug:
 
Upvote 0

Crucifix

Well-Known Member
Mar 21, 2007
4,314
286
✟35,610.00
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Private
Karen, sometimes people don't know how to effectively communicate with people so that they would permit themselves to be in a healthy r'ship. It may also be a self-esteem issue. The reasons are endless. I DO agree with 2 things, though: 1) that your DS gets out of the negative crowd and lifestyles they follow; and 2) that she get involved in Church and to develop a spiritual r'ship with God.

I'd be wary of online r'ships, even though there are those which are genuine and work out. A lot of people are anonymous behind a computer monitor and their intentions may be the exact opposite of what they say. However, I can't live her life. I stand to be corrected for what I posted here.
 
Upvote 0

Sindyan

Active Member
Jul 7, 2007
318
34
41
Abilene, TX
Visit site
✟30,608.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
But it is important to do everything we can to get involved and keep ourselves occupied so that we don't become overwhelmed or consumed by the feelings of loneliness...
But I think we can become too busy with our lives, and are trying to hide from our single hood in business. You trying to forget your single hood, and the desires in our heart God has given us. I have many times excused being passive, not willing to take a chance, nor put in the effort for doing "ministry".
 
Upvote 0

dluvs2trvl

What You See Is What You Get!
Nov 9, 2006
29,104
2,092
Washington
✟61,536.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
But I think we can become too busy with our lives, and are trying to hide from our single hood in business. You trying to forget your single hood, and the desires in our heart God has given us. I have many times excused being passive, not willing to take a chance, nor put in the effort for doing "ministry".
I'm sorry...I think I'm misunderstanding your post...

You seem to be saying two different things...one, that we can get to busy and hide from our singleness...and two, that you have excused being passive and not getting involved...

:scratch:

I think it is important to have a balance...yes, those of us that are single need to accept the fact that we are single and not become so busy that we are just filling our lives with empty activity...but I also think that getting and staying involved in something is better than sitting at home and becoming depressed because you're single...
 
Upvote 0

Sindyan

Active Member
Jul 7, 2007
318
34
41
Abilene, TX
Visit site
✟30,608.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
But why do we feel lonely in crowds than?

For me....I can't handle all of the stimulus and everything that is going on. Getting in large groups of people, unless I'm really good friends with 2 to 3 people, I can shut down mentally/emotionally, and began to feel very lonely, and like I stick like a pink monkey in all black and white movie.
 
Upvote 0

Sindyan

Active Member
Jul 7, 2007
318
34
41
Abilene, TX
Visit site
✟30,608.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I'm sorry...I think I'm misunderstanding your post...

You seem to be saying two different things...one, that we can get to busy and hide from our singleness...and two, that you have excused being passive and not getting involved...

:scratch:

I think it is important to have a balance...yes, those of us that are single need to accept the fact that we are single and not become so busy that we are just filling our lives with empty activity...but I also think that getting and staying involved in something is better than sitting at home and becoming depressed because you're single...

Sorry, I'm tired, and wrote that poorly.

What I meant the major point was that sometimes people get so busy that they run from the problems in their life. It's a way to escape. Sometimes getting overcommitted to ministry, work, etc is just avoiding the deeper issue.

Yes, I agree we shouldn't just sit around all day, think about our single hood, and fall into the trap of depression. We don't need any more Emo kids in this world :p

Ok, on the passive issue. I just reread what I wrote. I did a bad job at writing that :doh:. What i meant was that at times I made excuses for myself for not engaging in possible great romantic relationships, by doing "ministry" all the time. An example was I worked 32 hours on the weekends, voluneeter at a Recreation center during the week, full time school, etc in the interest of "ministry" but I had no social life, and I had no chances of getting to know people my own age, and to be in situations for possible "mates". I'm made myself busy to avoid having to deal with possible getting into romantic relationships....by meeting people, and getting to know people. If I didn't take the risk of putting myself out there...I couldn't get hurt.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be part of ministries, feeding the poor, helping the sick, by far no!
 
Upvote 0

dluvs2trvl

What You See Is What You Get!
Nov 9, 2006
29,104
2,092
Washington
✟61,536.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
Sorry, I'm tired, and wrote that poorly.

What I meant the major point was that sometimes people get so busy that they run from the problems in their life. It's a way to escape. Sometimes getting overcommitted to ministry, work, etc is just avoiding the deeper issue.

Yes, I agree we shouldn't just sit around all day, think about our single hood, and fall into the trap of depression. We don't need any more Emo kids in this world :p

Ok, on the passive issue. I just reread what I wrote. I did a bad job at writing that :doh:. What i meant was that at times I made excuses for myself for not engaging in possible great romantic relationships, by doing "ministry" all the time. An example was I worked 32 hours on the weekends, voluneeter at a Recreation center during the week, full time school, etc in the interest of "ministry" but I had no social life, and I had no chances of getting to know people my own age, and to be in situations for possible "mates". I'm made myself busy to avoid having to deal with possible getting into romantic relationships....by meeting people, and getting to know people. If I didn't take the risk of putting myself out there...I couldn't get hurt.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be part of ministries, feeding the poor, helping the sick, by far no!

Ahhh...I get it!!! Now it makes perfect sense! And I agree with what you are saying...we need to guard against falling into a trap of depression and we need to be willing to take a risk...

Taking the risk of starting a relationship can be VERY scary but if we never take the risk then we'll never have a chance to reap a reward...
 
Upvote 0

Sindyan

Active Member
Jul 7, 2007
318
34
41
Abilene, TX
Visit site
✟30,608.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Ahhh...I get it!!! Now it makes perfect sense! And I agree with what you are saying...we need to guard against falling into a trap of depression and we need to be willing to take a risk...

Taking the risk of starting a relationship can be VERY scary but if we never take the risk then we'll never have a chance to reap a reward...
Very much so, and I think that's partly why...well mainly on the men's side....is there reason why a lot of possible relationships don't happen. We don't take the risk.
 
Upvote 0

PeculiarTreasure

Mishief Mangaged
Feb 3, 2007
14,006
1,426
South Carolina
✟42,848.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
I think this kinda got lost in the shuffle of things so I'm gonna post it again because it's tonight and I'm a bit nervous.:sorry:


Hey everyone! :wave: I have a prayer request for you all if you don't mind. Grouplink is tonight at my church. The event where bible study groups are formed. Just pray that all goes well and that I end up with a group of Godly ladies that I can relate to and be myself around. Thanks! I love you all so much!:hug: :hug:
 
Upvote 0

Crucifix

Well-Known Member
Mar 21, 2007
4,314
286
✟35,610.00
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Private
consider it done, Singing.

The riskiness is only part of the problem, as I see it. Some people are extremely sensitive when issues which the "other party" say "dluvs", for example, might mention. The way I might interpret what dluvs says may be entirely different from the way in which dluvs means it to be understood. This has been what I have found.

Part of my problem, I guess, is that I tend to be analytical, yet when I ask for help genuinely, I'm taken for granted that everyone knows I should know the answer. That's false, IMHO. Any comments?
 
Upvote 0

Sindyan

Active Member
Jul 7, 2007
318
34
41
Abilene, TX
Visit site
✟30,608.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
consider it done, Singing.

The riskiness is only part of the problem, as I see it. Some people are extremely sensitive when issues which the "other party" say "dluvs", for example, might mention. The way I might interpret what dluvs says may be entirely different from the way in which dluvs means it to be understood. This has been what I have found.

Part of my problem, I guess, is that I tend to be analytical, yet when I ask for help genuinely, I'm taken for granted that everyone knows I should know the answer. That's false, IMHO. Any comments?
Could you reexplain what your trying to ask?

My brain may be burn out from homework, so It may make more sense in the morning.
 
Upvote 0