Loneliness

[AWorkInProgress]

Heya guys,

I had my life turned around when I accepted god into my life. With god's help combined with understanding from this website and my church, I overcame some demons and I am no longer depressed. In the aftermath, something new started bug me. I asked in other posts about it, but no real luck.

The dread of being alone or feeling unwanted. It is slowly becoming more of a problem, but thankfully I have so much joy in my life to counter it.

For anyone else going thru this problem, I like to share a good website I found in my research. Hopefully it can help you too.

http://www.soon.org.uk/problems/lonely.htm

I am still researching and will update this post if I find more material.

 

[Buttermilk]

The dread of being alone or feeling unwanted. It is slowly becoming more of a problem, but thankfully I have so much joy in my life to counter it.

With God around you should never feel totally alone or unwanted, although it can sometimes be hard to believe this.

s and s

 

[AWorkInProgress]

With God around you should never feel totally alone or unwanted, although it can sometimes be hard to believe this.

s and s

hehe thanks.

Now when I get an...attack I repeat to myself "I am loved and wanted.". We both know by who. =)

 

[WhiteRain]

I have this same feeling of lonliness, so I know what you mean--

I can feel totally and utterly alone, even in the middle of a crowd, or with family, etc. It didn't come from nowhere - I feel disconnected because I've been betrayed so much, and no one I know seems to understand but rather tells me to 'cheer up' or 'do something about it'. It's hard for me to trust people because of this and because of things I've been through.

But I try to believe God is the presence that's always been there. But sometimes I have to wonder, why does He just stand by and watch?

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

He's there. Tonight, for example, my dog was in distress for about an hour and panting heavily and could not get to sleep (don't worry it is not anything serious, my dog just was basically having his own version of a panic attack). I said a prayer for him and immediately after I said "please let my dog get some peaceful rest tonight", my dog laid down his head for the first time and relaxed before I even said "amen". He is currently asleep beside me.

God doesn't always just stand by and watch, although I agree that sometimes it seems like it. I don't know why He does that but I do know that there's got to be a good reason. He knows what is best.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

By the way, AWorkInProgress, thank you for posting the link. I do not have trouble with loneliness but I am interested in seeing what the link says and I will read it tomorrow -- maybe I can pass it on to some people that I know. Congratulations on defeating your depression.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Rainchild,

I am sorry to hear about your pain caused by others. God is watching, but he is also doing. I seen somethings in prophetic and healing ministries that can only be done by a our God. Also I seen things that are way too conquencidental.

Well you know we are here for ya too if you need someone to talk to sister.

MayContainNuts, thanks. With all learning and understanding the people of this website gives me I am honored to give back. We all suffer together as we all need to heal together.

I'm going to share this with my bros in Porn recovery.

God bless,

J

 

[spoiltbrat2003]

It's a hard lesson in life, but we made ourselves feel lonely (me included)
Even if you are not alone you could well be with people who hav no clue what you are going through or people who shun you because they have no idea whats going on.

Confidence in yourself is one thing that can tackle this, In CBT they teach you to overcome little things daily, so look strangers in the eye when they are talking to you, Phone friends and MAKE yourself mix.

I am at this stage right now, there was a time when I would talk to people just online about stuff but of course they can pick you up and drop you like a ton of bricks, so having confidence is really important.
Instead of trying to get out of social events embracing them,

When you have depression you hide yourself from the world because you feel like it doesn't want to see you and you don't want to see anything of the world.

So we have to go for walks, go to the library,meet friends, go to the coffee shop, Even if we feel we look like crap, even if you feel like your embarassing others by being with them,
People don't see us how we see ourselves

And its taken me a whole lotta talking to come to that conclusion.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

hmm.. I think you have a good point. I will admit I been a shut in for a long time, more or less hard to find a crowd I can relate too.

Had another attack, much stronger than the last one. Like my heart had a huge rift in it and all my positive energy poured out. Full effect, I just wanted to curl up into a ball. Took a while for rational thought bring me back to reality.

I been invited to Marti Gra night, I was going to decline but I think I will go. I will try to get out more.

Thanks Spoiled,

J

 

[spoiltbrat2003]

*hugs* I hope it goes well xx

 

[HannahBanana]

I'm glad that you were able to find solace in religion, AWorkinProgress. I wish you the best of luck in getting through this lonely time in your life. I, too, am struggling with loneliness (and have been for quite some time now), so I can totally relate.

s and s,
~Hannah

 

[WhiteRain]

People don't see us how we see ourselves

And its taken me a whole lotta talking to come to that conclusion.

Thank you for saying that! Sometimes I really need to realize that, because I get almost paralized by what I think others think... It drives me bonkers!

Thanks so much for the comfort. I think I'm still a stage behind you, but hopefully finding this forum was the first step.

 

[Buttermilk]

I'm glad that you were able to find solace in religion, AWorkinProgress. I wish you the best of luck in getting through this lonely time in your life. I, too, am struggling with loneliness (and have been for quite some time now), so I can totally relate.

s and s,
~Hannah

s for you too.

You mention finding solace in religion (personally I prefer the term faith, but I digress ) What do you think about your own statement

 

[HannahBanana]

s for you too.

You mention finding solace in religion (personally I prefer the term faith, but I digress ) What do you think about your own statement

"What do you think about your own statement"? I don't quite understand that question. Could you possibly restate it for me? Thanks.

~Hannah

 

[Buttermilk]

Sorry What do you think about finding solace in faith?

 

[HannahBanana]

Sorry What do you think about finding solace in faith?

I think it's fine for those who can believe in it all, and aren't just claiming to be members of that religion for some ulterior motive (i.e., Christians who bomb abortion clinics and then claim that God told them to do it, or people like Fred Phelps). I totally respect religious folk, and I understand that it takes a lot of work to try to follow a holy book, especially if you're trying to follow it literally.

Frankly, sometimes I wish I could make myself believe in religion, just so I could feel less alone and more at peace. But I've tried, multiple times, and I just cannot make myself believe. The logical fallacies in the Bible (and in all other holy books) just stick out like big, red neon signs and make it impossible for me to buy into whichever holy book it is that I'm reading. And the few times that I've tried to be a Liberal Christian, I've criticized myself even more than usual, claiming that "you're not praising God enough" and that "you should be praying instead of going online" (and going online is one of the things I do to get away from my inner critic). It's like religion provides me with "you're not good enough for God" statements, when I already have "you're not good enough for Mom and Dad" and "you're not good enough for this world" statements swirling around in my head.

Then again, I do sometimes notice odd coincidences in my life, but if I were to attribute them to religion, which religion would that be? Wicca? Judaism? Hinduism? Or Christianity? I don't see Christianity as the "one true religion," nor will I ever see it as such, so I don't know whether to believe in it or to believe in any other religion. I don't know which higher power is calling out to me during those odd coincidences, nor do I have any way of figuring such out, so I'm pretty much stuck.

Wow. Sorry for the huge post. You must've opened a floodgate or something. LOL. Hopefully something in here answers your question.

 

[UnitynLove]

That is a lie by the devil "God loves you." It is written, "There is no height, nor depth, no principalities, not angels, no tribulation that shall be able to separte us from the love God that is in Jesus Christ." And being unwanted is a lie. "God will supply all your needs according to his riches in Glory by Jesus Christ." Dont forget "God is able to be exceedlingy above and beyond more that we can ever ask or think." You mind might say so then why isn't it here, then "We walk by faith not by sight" and "We donot look at the things which are seen but they thing that are not see that are forever lasting."

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Thanks all who are taking a notice.

I walked away from god and my years of foolishness gave me bad fruit. Since I turned to god and with the help of his people I have been mopping up my bad fruit. Like an onion, God has given me courage and understanding to peel off each layer of old sin. Now I gotten to a really deep one that been there all along just so buried inside.

I spent all morning going thru self analyzation and I concluded what my deep sin is. Selfishness.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/selfishness

Not saying this is universal, but just how I understand it for me. Broken down to simpliest form the opposite of loneliness is being social. So what is blocking the bridge to social, selfishness.

Krysstian was right, some of us are different in Real life than they are on any forum. This forum cuts thru most of my selfishness and sees what is in me. When it comes to my coworkers and random people around me I am very much the opposite.

Love is a give and take situation. I gave a trickle of love to people around me, so I have a build up. Also since I not taken steps to open myself to others around(mainly because I judge them) I only get a trickle back. So like a tree starving for water I go into pains. My selfishness always hoped I could find 1 woman to pour all my love into and recieve back, but that is not how it works. Like Jesus said, need to plant many seeds and hopefully get lot fruit back.

I hope I am making sense.

EDIT just found this.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%203:13-18;&version=51;

James 3:13-18

"True Wisdom Comes from God
13 If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.[a]"

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Mainly I want to thank everyone who took a moment of their time and prayed for me. God has touched me with his wisdom and peices of an old puzzle are coming together.

Thank you again!

 

[soyness]

HI,
i know what you are going through. On top of depression, i do struggle with loneliness. I know what you are going through. it's like, even though we are surrounded by people, we are still so lonely. I mean is there a rule that Christians can't be lonely or depressed? I don't think so. it is really hard. it is hard to conceptualize. sigh.