Living without myself

[KamiNoMichi]

I am strong.

I am depressed.

I am unbiased.

I am nervous.

I am loving.

I am afraid.

I am understanding.

I am me.

My parent's religion (christianity) teaches them to "un-be" themselves. I know this because I have witnessed my mom changing from who I loved into something else. I have seen my stepfather stale in thought, strong in faith.

I have seen them and so many others be something they are not.

A drug dealer.

A partyer.

A religious fanatic.

I'm afraid to enter christianity, because it will make me who I am not.

Truly, words cannot even begin to describe my viewpoint.

What to do?

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Well, they will change for the better. If they are not, then it is not the fault of Christianity, but it maybe the fault of false teaching and/or bad influences. The heart of Jesus' message is love

 

[NJA]

I AM

Able Blessed Chosen Delivered

Empowered Free God's Heavenly

Incvincible Justified Knowing Loved

Mighty Not guilty Overcoming Patient

Quickened Resting Saved Trusting

Understanding Victorious Waiting

X-cited Yoked Zealous



This is not wishful thinking, this is what we are as we agree with God

2Corinthians 5:17: Therefore if any man be in Christ,
he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold,
all things are become new.

I used to be the opposites, I can go back to that if I want to, but there is no gain in that. I have received the Life (the love, mind and leading) of God by *receiving* His Holy Spirit.

 

[crossrunner]

I am (because of Christ)
*joyful (not always in a good mood but always knowing where my joy comes from)
*at peace
*with purpose
*useful and called to be of service to others

I
laugh
cry
get angry
debate
eat
sleep
love

sometimes I
am in pain
get sad
get frustrated
get bored
doubt

Because I accepted God's gift of salvation and am following Christ I...
think of others far more than I used to
pray much more than I used to
no longer seek revenge but pray for those who persecute me (or just make me mad)
realize that even though I am not perfect, I am loved by He who created me and carved me in the palm of His hand

Because of Christ...
I am who I was meant to me

 

[helmikaarina]

"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you" --Augustine

God created us for him. I'm who I'm because of God. Without him something important, essential, were missing.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Long for God and he'll reveal himself to you.

 

[MLynn]

I have found that being a Christian has allowed me to be the most and best I can be. I still have a lot to learn, but I don't have to be in a hurry.

I'm sorry your parents seem to have changed for the worse; maybe it's just a matter of relaxing with their newfound faith. Some people have an odd pre-conception of what a Christian is supossed to be.

 

[bratchaman]

Truly, truly, truly a transformation of body, mind, and soul occur when one "becomes" a Chrisitian. Salvation from Jesus the Christ does change us. Do not believe that it doesn't do so. But, this is not a bad, horrible, or awful trasformation. In fact, it is truly the best transformation on this earth we can undergo. I, myself, was transformed into a kind, caring, trustworthy, serving, and loving individual and I don't see one thing wrong or bad about that.

 

[Justin Horne]

I have found that being a Christian has allowed me to be the most and best I can be. I still have a lot to learn, but I don't have to be in a hurry.

And as an atheist, I feel the same.

 

[freeheart]

Dear KamiNoMichi,
Your saddness is very great. I am sorry for your pain. Please understand, KamiNoMichi, that there is a difference in being religious and being a follower of Jesus the Christ. I know many who are in church all the time, yet they are the meanest, most miserable people I have ever seen. Just because you stay all night in the chicken house, this does not make you a chicken. Just because you go to church and read your Bible does not make you a Christian. Jesus gives us life and the fruit of that life if joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, kindess...these are what you see in a true Christian. This comes from a changed heart and life. A cold, hard heart turned into a warm, loving and caring heart is what God does for those who believe on His Son Jesus. And, He has a destiny for you! Greater than you can think or imagine! And it will more than likely be something you love to do and are good at! I ask the Lord to send you a TRUE believer in Him so you will know. God bless you- Nancy

 

[All4THALORD]

I am sorry to hear about your parents. But we as Christians, when we take that life Jesus offers, have so much freedom through Jesus Christ. And when we do commit our lives to Him, we don't have to be somebody else. We can be ourselves. We don't have to wear "masks".
Romans 6:12-14 says this:
12: Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to it's lustful desires.
13: Do not let any part of your body become a tool of wickedness, to be used for sinning. Instead, give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life. And use your whole body as a tool to do what is right for the glory of God.
14: Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer subject to the law, which enslaves you to sin. Instead you are free by God's grace.
So when your parents do all the things they do you have to look over those things and just ask God to began to move stronger in their lives and to show them the real truth. That through Jesus they can be themselves. FREE!

 

[Johnnz]

Sometimes Christians are not the best models - sad but true.

I understand what you are saying. Often, we have some 'church tradition' imposed on us that claims to be 'God's way'. It is not easy spotting the falsehoods (even when they are well intentioned) and discovering a Christian life that is genuine and fulfiling.

God is not into making clones. He never approves of others doing all our thinking for us by telling us 'this is what you must do'. Jesus did teach, but it was who He was that drew people to him voluntarily.

I have spent more than 40 years constantly discovering new insights into my Christian faith. It has been a wonderful, though sometimes hard and lonely journey.

John
NZ

 

[Theophorus]

I am a man as you are, and a living spirit, glory be to God.

God is a man, Christ Jesus, and Spirit, and The creator of all.

You believe the lie that your passions define who you really are. Yes they are real, but they are not truley you. Don't you remeber? When you where very very young. Are you realy different than that child? When your joy was to be loved and to play, unemcumbered with guilt or shame or burdens. Try and remember, for therein is your true identity. What your will really desires. You are a creation of God, before people would take that away from you, before real fear entered into your life. Do not fear the grace of our Lord.

Do not fear, for he is risen.

 

[Macrina]

KamiNoMichi,

I think you've already gotten a good collection of advice, so all I can add is a comment from my own experience:

I feel very strongly that God has helped me to be the person I was created to be, the person that I truly am deep down. God created us all, including me, to be a wonderful person, but sin and the fallen world kind of warp us so that we no longer look like that wonderful person. Truly finding God is to truly find yourself, who you were created to be, the ideal you. You'll know it when you feel it because it just "feels" right. I went from depression to joy, from hollowness to love.

I don't think I was changing, but rather I was finally able to be myself.

I pray you might experience the same joy.

Macrina

 

[rosemaree]

There are a lot of beautiful posts here, especially the original one. I have changed not for the better in some ways, and for the better in some ways. It's been really confusing. I think becoming a Christian has shown me the ugliness in me that I simply never saw before...I don't like it very much. I also see more ungliness in others that I overlooked before. Almost as though I have become more of a pessimist about people, when before, I actually liked people and myself and wasn't so critical. Ha this happened to anyone else?

 

[Macrina]

Rosemaree,

I think when we become Christians is when we realize how very fallen the world is. In order to confess our sin to God, we have to come face-to-face with all the things we'd like to hide from ourselves. And once we catch a glimpse of how things might be, how God intended them to be, the real state of things looks dingy and warped in comparison. It's natural to be disappointed that we have not yet been made perfect.

But remember that God's grace reaches out to us in our flawed and sinful condition. And his love and his mercy are likewise available to all those other people that you see flaws in. Imagine what a loving God he must be in order to love all those people who are so messed up (including us).

Christians don't suddenly become immune to sin. How I wish that were the case! We are works-in-progress. That is why there is so much tragic hypocrisy in the church and in our families. God is perfect; his people are not.

And yet I see hope -- he has not given up on us. He is helping us grow into the people that we can be with his help. And the same help is available to those around us.


I hope that makes sense,
Macrina

 

[rosemaree]

Well to be honest, I think part of my problem is that I have not 'caught a glimpse'of how things are supposed to be. I can't get a picture of life before the fall in my head, I can't imagine people living with dinosaurs and the lion lying with the lamb...everyone vegetarian, which is supposed to be how it was...

I can't picture Heaven and can't imagine trying to share God/Jesus with billions of others at the same time....I can't imagine Jesus descending from the clouds for 'every eye to see' when we can't all be together at once to look (I'm in Canada, what if He comes to Australia?? I can't imagine having a new body, still my body, but a different body at the same time..
Sorry I'm ranting but I'm really lost and have been bombarded with a lot of bogus teaching from my Christian neighbors, and at church.....
I guess I am not feeling the love right now. Not feeling inspired by the promises...I really want to enjoy the life I have now...my children are growing so fast....it's so short.
When I try to live and focus on eternity, my daily joy seems diminished and robbed from me...life here, and now.
ANyone else feel this way?

 

[Macrina]

ere
When I try to live and focus on eternity, my daily joy seems diminished and robbed from me...life here, and now.

Rosemaree,

Thank you for being honest. It's so hard for me to put into words the way I feel about things. I realize it must sound trite but I really don't mean it that way.

Rest assured that no matter what misguided people have told you, God is present in the here-and-now. Jesus didn't come to diminish your life or your family, but rather to bring you the most joy possible out of these things.

It's okay not to have all the answers. I respect the path you are on and hope you will accept me as a companion for the journey.

Mac

 

[liberator]

I'm afraid to enter christianity, because it will make me who I am not.

Hi KamiNoMichi,
I know what you mean, I have been a Christian (Church of England) for only a year and a half. It all a bit scary I know! I haven't turned into another person, all that's happened is that my better qualities are being brought out and my poorer qualities are forgiven, it's a bit like retraining, with your new and very loving teacher, Jesus.

If you join a sensible church, they will not try to make you into a different person, you will just be shown how to allow love and kindness to shine through who you already are. All I would say is join a church with a good reputation, one that is well known and respected, Anglican or Roman Catholic are usually more mainstream, liberal and less wacky and wierd.

I do understand how confusing it is with so many different types of Christians telling you all different things. If you want the truth, read the New Testament and find out who Jesus is for yourself, and join a good mainstream church.

I converted when I went to sit in a beautiful church in my town, and a kindly female priest came over and asked me if she could help, I broke down as I was going through an illness at the time, and she helped me with a prayer to God to 'wrap His cloak of love around' me, I felt so pleased that God loved me and didn't reject me. It was then I decided to convert. I feel like I have a close and powerful friend in Jesus now, who brings out the best in me,but does not turn me into someone I am not. I really hope you will be OK, I will pray that God guides you.
Love Liberator

 

[TheMainException]

I think that the people that you know do not really understand Christianity. In the Christ-like way, we are called to be OURSELVES...not someone else...that is against the Word. We aren't supposed to change who we are, we are simply to be who we are and turn to God so that he can make us more loving, more caring, and less sinful, not different.

 

[Theophorus]

Well to be honest, I think part of my problem is that I have not 'caught a glimpse'of how things are supposed to be. I can't get a picture of life before the fall in my head, I can't imagine people living with dinosaurs and the lion lying with the lamb...everyone vegetarian, which is supposed to be how it was...

I can't picture Heaven and can't imagine trying to share God/Jesus with billions of others at the same time....I can't imagine Jesus descending from the clouds for 'every eye to see' when we can't all be together at once to look (I'm in Canada, what if He comes to Australia?? I can't imagine having a new body, still my body, but a different body at the same time..
Sorry I'm ranting but I'm really lost and have been bombarded with a lot of bogus teaching from my Christian neighbors, and at church.....
I guess I am not feeling the love right now. Not feeling inspired by the promises...I really want to enjoy the life I have now...my children are growing so fast....it's so short.
When I try to live and focus on eternity, my daily joy seems diminished and robbed from me...life here, and now.
ANyone else feel this way?

Yes I have felt this way. Understand this, your enemy wants you to feel this way. Life and all creation is a product of grace, for everything is because God sustains it. Satan represents all that is vile and ugly, and wants us to dwell on that. He wants to blame God for the imperfections and flaws of creation.

In times of weakness, do not dwell on things outside of your control or understanding, for only the strong can enter the battlefield with the armour of God, but instead work out your own salvation in fear and trembling, concentrating on your blessings and deliverance, and humbly asking for strength, beseech the help of Christ and with Him cast away the wicked one. Keep your prayers simple, ask others to pray for you. Pray without ceasing, and look for the grace of God in your life (for it is everywhere) and give thanks.
Then return to do battle, being stronger in Christ than you were before.

May you find refuge in Christ, our common hope.