living with girlfriend, is it wrong?

[ironford]

thats they way its going but one answer if leading to about 5 questions lol

 

[IfIonlyhadabrain]

Yes it is.

I don't know if this has been mentioned yet, since I have not yet read through the whole thread, but I'm guessing it hasn't. People often forget about this sin. The sin of intentionally placing one's self in the occasion of sin. Living with your girlfriend is wrong both for the reason that you're causing scandal to the public eye (and particularly to children who may learn to believe that marriage isn't that important, so long as you love each other you can live together), but also because you are intentially placing yourself in a position whereby the temptation to sin is heightened exceedingly.

Let us never forget that when we do this, set ourselves into temptation purposely, it is itself a sin.

 

[rosewaning]

What about having a roomate of the opposite sex (no relationship, no desire to have a relationship, just friends)?

 

[Estefana]

How are you meant to know if you can live with someone until you do live with someone? Maybe you want to marry someone and then you do and live with thema nd realise it was a mistake, and then you can't get divroced. It makes no sense.

 

[epiclesis]

you have GOT to be kidding me.

 

[Estefana]

It is true though. Look how many people are best frineds in high school, go to college and be roomates and then NEVER want to talk to each other again after about six months.

 

[epiclesis]

Kyrie eleison.

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

 

[pdudgeon]

here is something you could do.
since you've been living with your girlfriend for at least a year already the two of you have probably sorted thru a lot of relationship things. So make everyone happy--go and have a civil marriage, join the church, and ask the priest to bless the union.

that would clear everything up, the parents and grandparents would probably be happy, and it will take a burden off your shoulders. it is called 'regluarizing the union' or bringing it into accord with God's wishes.

 

[Estefana]

Kyrie eleison.

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

And hense why I am leaving. I ask a genuine question and instead of being given an answer, I get these kind of snarky replies.

 

[ufonium2]

Couples who live together prior to marriage have a much higher divorce rate than those who don't. Of course, correlation doesn't equal causation, and that might just be an indicator that couples who live together don't take the relationship as seriously, and don't see divorce as that much of a big deal. But regardless, the numbers completely contradict the idea of living together in a "trial marriage" having any benefit to the relationship.

 

[epiclesis]

That was not a "snarky reply".... it was a prayer. You seem to act like you want people to be upset with you.

Cohabitation causes scandal. It's setting yourself up for sin. It's putting yourself in a position to cause gossip among others. It's putting yourself in a position for temptation.

And actually, those who cohabitate before marriage have a higher divorce rate.

Marriage is a sacrament, bonding two people together for life. It's giving yourself entirely to another person.

Marriage is not about "being able to get along"... it's about loving the other person entirely, giving yourself entirely to them, sacrificing your own will for theirs, living as God would want you to, and doing His will above your own.

 

[Estefana]

Sigh. Anbother missed point.

 

[HandmaidenOfGod]

Statistics show that those who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who abstain from co-habitating before marriage.

Marriage is a sacrament; it is a union of souls. It is saying "we are willing to work with God and each other to make this marriage work." When you co-habitate, you're just saying "I want to see if I like you enough to put it on paper, but if I don't I'm gonna walk away."

Marriage isn't just a relationship between two people; it's a triune relationship between husband, wife, and God. When you co-habitate, you are leaving God out of the picture which is a recipe for disaster.

To the OP, you and your GF really need to start attending Mass and begin spiritual counseling with a priest. This will help you understand your role in the relationship within the context of the Church, and what God intends for you.

God bless,

Maureen

 

[pdudgeon]

and for estefana's question you get counseling as a couple before marriage, so that everything is on the table. you also learn that compromise is the only way a marriage will work.

compromise is not giving in, it is loving the partner enough to want the best for them.

When a man understands that the job and responsibility of the husband is to love, care for, lead, and if need be sacrifice his desires for the wife in the same way that Jesus loves His church, then he is ready to be married.

and when a woman understands that she is to honor her husband because of the position he holds and that her love for him should take prescedence over all the other aspects of her life (excepting only her love for God) then she is ready to be married.

potential husbands and wives are not like shoes to be tried on, worn for a season, and then be thrown out.

 

[HandmaidenOfGod]

and for estefana's question you get counseling as a couple before marriage, so that everything is on the table. you also learn that compromise is the only way a marriage will work.

compromise is not giving in, it is loving the partner enough to want the best for them.

When a man understands that the job and responsibility of the husband is to love, care for, lead, and if need be sacrifice his desires for the wife in the same way that Jesus loves His church, then he is ready to be married.

and when a woman understands that she is to honor her husband because of the position he holds and that her love for him should take prescedence over all the other aspects of her life (excepting only her love for God) then she is ready to be married.

potential husbands and wives are not like shoes to be tried on, worn for a season, and then be thrown out.

 

[epiclesis]

Statistics show that those who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who abstain from co-habitating before marriage.

Marriage is a sacrament; it is a union of souls. It is saying "we are willing to work with God and each other to make this marriage work." When you co-habitate, you're just saying "I want to see if I like you enough to put it on paper, but if I don't I'm gonna walk away."

Marriage isn't just a relationship between two people; it's a triune relationship between husband, wife, and God. When you co-habitate, you are leaving God out of the picture which is a recipe for disaster.

To the OP, you and your GF really need to start attending Mass and begin spiritual counseling with a priest. This will help you understand your role in the relationship within the context of the Church, and what God intends for you.

God bless,

Maureen

why do people who make the best posts always have their reps turned off?

 

[Gwendolyn]

How are you meant to know if you can live with someone until you do live with someone? Maybe you want to marry someone and then you do and live with thema nd realise it was a mistake, and then you can't get divroced. It makes no sense.

This is a common belief in today's secular society. However, living in a "trial" marriage or taking your prospective spouse for a "test drive" really doesn't offer them the dignity and respect that they deserve - "Honey, I'm only trying you out because I want to know if you're really worth it."

It is natural to be afraid that things might not work, but the solution is not to place yourself in situations that have an easy out. If you take marriage seriously, and earnestly desire to love and know your future spouse thoroughly and completely, then you honestly will not have to worry about this. Problem-solving isn't about one person conceding or giving up something that they really believe is good. It is about coming to a compromise, and making a sacrifice for both parties. Self-sacrifice and selflessness are integral parts of marriage - without them, a marriage will not be successful.

Love isn't something you just fall into; it is also a decision. It takes hard work and dedication. It means loving your husband when he brings you roses and makes you breakfast in bed, but loving him also when he hasn't showered for a day and is cranky because he hit his thumb on the hammer when he was trying to fix the coffee table. It means loving your wife when she showers you with kisses but also loving her when she's irritable, pregnant, and hungry only for something containing onions at 2am.

You can't offer yourself completely to another person if you're only in a "trial relationship". You can't promise them forever if you always have an escape route in the back of your mind.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Marriage is a sacrament; it is a union of souls. It is saying "we are willing to work with God and each other to make this marriage work." When you co-habitate, you're just saying "I want to see if I like you enough to put it on paper, but if I don't I'm gonna walk away."

Marriage isn't just a relationship between two people; it's a triune relationship between husband, wife, and God. When you co-habitate, you are leaving God out of the picture which is a recipe for disaster.

FANTEASTIC post, Maureen. That is truly what marriage is about.

 

[HandmaidenOfGod]

thank you

 

[Teshi]

It is true though. Look how many people are best frineds in high school, go to college and be roomates and then NEVER want to talk to each other again after about six months.

Do you have any stats on that?

Everyone warned me off of rooming with my best friend in college, and we were roomies for four years without any problems.

Most of getting along is committing to getting along and working seriously at communicating and compromising and giving.